First job after LPN licensing & Being treated with disrespect!

Nurses General Nursing

Updated:   Published

  1. Should I leave my dream job if I'm being disrespected by my colleagues?

    • 11
      Yes
    • 8
      No

19 members have participated

Hi I need help on making a wise decision. I just started my career as an LPN and my first week has been hell. I was hoping this dream job would focus on patient care but so far it has been gossiping, a lack of respect from colleagues due to my preceptor trying to make me look incompetent. I was put with this preceptor to train but so far the preceptor leaves out important details as far as where to chart important information therefore the doctors are complaining to management that I'm not doing the job correctly. Management believes everything the preceptor says and gives her high fives and congratulates her on doing a great job. I'm thinking the preceptor is making up lies about me behind my back to make me look incompetent. Management and the preceptor seem to be good friends. The manager makes her the leader in the area and totally disregard that we both are LPNs. She prefer to treat me like a tech. Management makes these huge announcements in front of other team members that the preceptor is the leader and we must follow her lead. I've tried to talk to manager but she always says, ask your preceptor if you have questions.

When I am seeing patients, the preceptor interrupts my time with the patients and states, speed it up with your assessments In front of the patients". She also will whisper to the doctors that I take a long time with assessments so now the doctors have started to interrupt my time with the patients. The preceptor sits and gossips with the techs and since her influence on them, now they don't have conversations with me and have no respect.

When I took this job as a new grad, I was hoping to focus on patient care and just being there for my patients as well as a positive welcoming atmosphere but it has been drama and backstabbing. I graduated at the top of my class and for someone to try and make me look incompetent because I'm not being trained correctly and because I'm the new employee is unacceptable. Being that this is a dream job for me, should I leave or stick it out and just ignore this behavior?

1 Votes
Mary0000 said:
Hi I need help on making a wise decision. I just started my career as an LPN and my first week has been hell. I was hoping this dream job would focus on patient care but so far it has been gossiping, a lack of respect from colleagues due to my preceptor trying to make me look incompetent. I was put with this preceptor to train but so far the preceptor leaves out important details as far as where to chart important information therefore the doctors are complaining to management that I'm not doing the job correctly. Management believes everything the preceptor says and gives her high fives and congratulates her on doing a great job. I'm thinking the preceptor is making up lies about me behind my back to make me look incompetent. Management and the preceptor seem to be good friends. The manager makes her the leader in the area and totally disregard that we both are LPNs. She prefer to treat me like a tech. Management makes these huge announcements in front of other team members that the preceptor is the leader and we must follow her lead. I've tried to talk to manager but she always says, ask your preceptor if you have questions.

When I am seeing patients, the preceptor interrupts my time with the patients and states, speed it up with your assessments In front of the patients". She also will whisper to the doctors that I take a long time with assessments so now the doctors have started to interrupt my time with the patients. The preceptor sits and gossips with the techs and since her influence on them, now they don't have conversations with me and have no respect.

When I took this job as a new grad, I was hoping to focus on patient care and just being there for my patients as well as a positive welcoming atmosphere but it has been drama and backstabbing. I graduated at the top of my class and for someone to try and make me look incompetent because im not being trained correctly and because I'm the new employee is unacceptable. Being that this is a dream job for me, should I leave or stick it out and just ignore this behavior?

It sounds like you should probably leave. Not just because of their behavior, but because of your own proud nature. As new graduates, most nurses are pretty helpless ...even nurses who did very well in school. We need the people we work with to be on our side, so sometimes we have to tolerate less than perfect circumstances without reacting or causing further conflict. It sounds like you may be pushed out even if you don't decide to leave on your own.

1 Votes
Specializes in MDS/ UR.

Wow, 1 week and the drama at this level. Good luck.....

1 Votes

It started at week 1 and now we are going on week 3...and it's getting worser by the week

1 Votes

I'm not there, so maybe your assessment of the situation is correct. However, I recommend you take a good hard look at the situation to see if you have any culpability for the situation. These situations are rarely as one sided as the complaining party believes.

1 Votes

Without being there and witnessing your interactions with staff and your preceptor, these are my thoughts based off of what you've posted and maybe points to ponder:

* did your preceptor tell you where to chart and purposefully leave stuff out? Did she forget? Did you ask if you were uncertain where to chart things?

* why do you think she's making up lies about you? Is there proof? It's a pretty serious accusation

* if the manager is consistently being asked the same thing over and over again and/ or is busy, that might be why you've been directed to your preceptor if she's been chosen to spearhead a project

* how long does it take you to assess your patients? Are other tasks not getting done because of the length? I do agree your preceptor should not offer criticisms in front of patients

* how do you know your preceptor gossips to the doctors about your speed? My experience is that doctors see patients when it's best for them, whether you are assessing or not. I feel that all doctors should at least lay eyes on their patients once a day. And if you're assessments are very long ng, then they would interrupt so they can continue on With their tasks

*how do you know your preceptor is gossiping about you to the techs and that the gossip is the reasons the techs won't have a conversation with you. Most relationships don't form instantaneously and if the techs are super busy, they might not have time for conversations

* why is this job your dream job. I would personally stick it out at least to the 6 month point, but if you're absolutely misrable, there is no point staying, just be aware you could run into the same issues at your next job

1 Votes
Specializes in LTC, Hospice, Case Management.

Agree with all the above comments. Please remember, respect is usually earned not given. That may not be the "right" but it is how the world generally works.

You used this line that caught my attention "The manager makes her the leader in the area and totally disregard that we both are LPNs". It's not a big leap here to assume that that LPN has a whole lot more experience than you. As a well seasoned LPN I was often the leader for the shift in LTC.

With that said, there really are bad places out there with some really bad leaders that shouldn't be leaders. If this is really is that kinda of place just gracefully get yourself out of there without coming off as an entitled new grad. Good luck

1 Votes
Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.

Dream jobs are just that: dreams.

You have to make them happen, they don't just happen all by themselves.

If you are that miserable, maybe it's not your "dream job" after all.

1 Votes

I tell students all the time that when they start their orientation to a facility, make sure that your preceptor is a good fit. If it's not get another, until they and you can see eye to eye. Life is too short and I'm sure you'll be welcomed somewhere else.

1 Votes
Mary0000 said:
When I took this job as a new grad, I was hoping to focus on patient care and just being there for my patients as well as a positive welcoming atmosphere but it has been drama and backstabbing.

I think in order to make a good decision, you need to evaluate this ^ carefully.

Leaving the drama/backstabbing aside for a moment, the main anchoring point to what you're saying isn't completely different than what innumerable other new nurses have said to themselves, which is that nursing IRL isn't playing out exactly as expected/imagined. I think working through that is part of the new-grad process for many, many people.

By default, those in direct care are often forced into "get 'er done" mode due to staffing that usually rides a fine line between being adequate and inadequate; it certainly is not adequate enough anywhere I've ever been that I would be able to do things exactly as taught in school. There are ways to make the best of it, but first you have to understand (or "accept", though I hate to say that) the situation.

I suspect you're a bit off-base with some of this, and I say that due to your reported offense at being told that your preceptor is the leader. Everything else aside, I would fully expect someone more senior (experience-wise) to be the leader. There is no offense to be taken in a new grad being told that someone else is the team/unit leader. The fact that you are both LPNs doesn't matter right now, and your grades also don't matter except to the extent that they may represent your hard work and learning. But experience and nursing wisdom are different matters and no one comes out of school with adequate knowledge and wisdom to operate without guidance.

FWIW, here's how I'd handle it. I would give it a good try. If you suspect you are being toyed with, put your head up, put a smile on your face, be pleasant. Move briskly. Ask questions. Make your plan and then ask to run it by your preceptor ["Here's what I'm thinking - does this look good to you?" or "Anything you would change?"]. This serves three purposes: It shows your thinking and your initiative, it encourages a rapport, and in the scenario where she is overheard publicly critiquing you to others, you will look her in the eye and say something to the effect, "This is what we discussed when I asked for your input into my plan. If you feel I need to reprioritize at any point, please let me know so I'm not wasting time." In other words, get buy-in from her early-on, keep in close contact with her, and carefully [carefully!] keep things "real."

Ask her, in her estimation, what kind of a time-frame goal you should have for doing a full patient assessment. When you're with a patient and that amount of time is approaching, go to her and update her if you're not done, and tell her you're wrapping things up. If she again mentions your speed (or any other critique) in front of patients, excuse yourself from the patient and leave the room. When she follows you, say, "Please call me to the doorway if you have a message for me." Use this same process of inquiring about her expectations each time you set out to accomplish something (change a dressing, do an assessment, get vitals on all your patients, whatever).

Don't expect contention. Give 100% to try to prevent it. Be open and use excellent, pleasant communication. That will include making genuine attempts to develop the rapport between you and those whom you believe she is poisoning. Be pleasant/kind and perhaps they'll make their own decision even if your preceptor is interfering.

Then you will be able to decide whether they plan to give you a chance. And if, after all this, it doesn't work out, you'll be in a better position to know that it was them, not you.

Good luck

1 Votes
Specializes in M/S, Pulmonary, Travel, Homecare, Psych..

Just a little side note of advice:

Don't show this "I want to do pt care and this is not it" side of yourself at work. Even if it's true. Things are bound to get taken to a place you don't want to be if that's what people see from you.

I used to precept. I can tell you for a fact, I had just as many new nurses hate me as I did who loved me. It's the nature of the position. You can't be in it to be liked. Some of the new nurses hated me so much....if they had come here and posted about me, you'd think I was evil personified. Of course, you'd only have their side of the story. I've written numerous times about the one who couldn't understand that spending the last hour of every shift in the bathroom puffing herself up for that night's date was not going to hack it...........yet, when she quit the position you'd have thought I beat her with a cane on a daily basis for no reason what so ever (according to her exit interview anyway).

I'll add too: It's so hard to take a new nurse seriously when they have this "I just want to do patient care, not all this other stuff" mentality. Are you that confident in your definition of "good patient care" already that you're judge and juror of whether it's going on here or not?

Just say'in: I've had many a new nurse tell me I wasn't "patient focused" because I was more concerned with drawing their PTT (after lab had given up) than with fluffing blankets.

1 Votes

" She prefer to treat me like a tech." In a way, you are. Your preceptor is responsible for your nursing actions. She/he will gradually increase your responsibilities.

We cannot assess the entire situation here. Request a meeting with the preceptor, management and nursing ed to evaluate your progress and express your concerns.

1 Votes
+ Add a Comment