Favorite "Lay Terms" For Diagnoses

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Some of my favorite mispronunciations or "shortening" of a diagnosis by patients and/or family members:

The Gouch - Gout

The High Blood/Low Blood - Hypertension/Hypotension

The High Sugar - Diabetes (sometimes they actually mean hyperglycemia...but usually mean Diabetes)

The Bad Lung - COPD

Also included are the times that people completely ignore the ventilator in the room and the ETT in the pt's mouth and ask me why Johnny won't talk to them.

Anybody have any others that they found humorous?

Specializes in Peds/outpatient FP,derm,allergy/private duty.
Davey Do said:
. . Histospanola for Histoplasmosis .

??? well that one had me stumped - but that's OK, it stumped Google, too. It thought I must have meant Hispaniola. There's probably a perfectly logical explanation that doesn't involve histamines and crunchy cereals with roasted almonds.

The funniest lay term(s) are those relating to inflammation of the sciatic nerve and/or the low back pain/hip pain/whatever pain is "the sciatic" "my sciatica" etc. I'll even borrow from a nurse blogger who's patient called it "the psychotic nerve".

Oh, and an enema called a fizzik(sp?). I think that must be used around the Pittsburgh, PA region.

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nursel56 said:

Oh, and an enema called a fizzik(sp?). I think that must be used around the Pittsburgh, PA region.

Interesting! Had to look that one up.

https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/physic

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Specializes in Medical.

What about the woman whose son had "the dyslexie"?

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Specializes in CEN, CPEN, RN-BC.

Ammonia for Pneumonia

or

"Murtha" for MRSA

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Specializes in tele, oncology.

I had a pt last year who had a large midsternal scar...I asked when he had had his "cabbage", meaning of course CABG. He looked confused and said "On St. Pat's day with my corned beef."

It's the last time I asked that question phrased that way.

It's been a running joke in my family ever since I had to write a report on "Lord of the Flies" in jr. high to call asthma "ass-mar". My baby sister used to tell her doc from toddlerhood "I can't breafe cuz of the ass-mar". She was completely indignant when she figured out at about six years old that she'd been calling it the wrong name for years and it was all our fault.

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Specializes in Emergency/Trauma/Critical Care Nursing.

I know this isn't a common one but the other night this lady told me she had "premenapausal angelina"  but couldn't tell me anything about what it was, not to mention she's 65yrs old (premenapausal anything might be odd), after a lot of searching through her history I find out its PRINZMETAL ANGINA! 

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Specializes in School Nursing.

A parent filled out the son's health history for school, noting very carefully that he had "80 HD". Read it out loud until you get it.

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Specializes in Critical Care, Nsg QA.

My brother-in-law took his mother into the doctors office to have some fluid taken off her knee. He told me they drew off 6 inches. (Hmmm, I'm thinking it was more like 60 cc....).

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Specializes in LPN.

Can't say when I have enjoyed a group of posts more. I found my self laughing out loud.

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Specializes in LTC, OB, psych.

Had a very elderly pt. request a "fizzik" when he felt his bowels weren't moving regularly enough. In his case, he was satisfied with MoM. I do think "physic" is an old term for anything purgative of the bowels.

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Specializes in LTC, OB, psych.

On the nurse side, almost nobody is able to correctly pronounce "metoprolol."

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My favorite is "Alltimers"

My mother, God bless her, when she misplaces something or has what I'd call a 'brain fart', says, "Sorry, my parts-heimers is kicking in again."

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