Favorite "Lay Terms" For Diagnoses

Nurses General Nursing

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Some of my favorite mispronunciations or "shortening" of a diagnosis by patients and/or family members:

The Gouch - Gout

The High Blood/Low Blood - Hypertension/Hypotension

The High Sugar - Diabetes (sometimes they actually mean hyperglycemia...but usually mean Diabetes)

The Bad Lung - COPD

Also included are the times that people completely ignore the ventilator in the room and the ETT in the pt's mouth and ask me why Johnny won't talk to them.

Anybody have any others that they found humorous?

Specializes in ER.

I once had a patient who told our ER doc that he had an "ovarian cyst right there" pointing to his wrist....the doc just replied: "Sir, now that would be an act of God"....

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Specializes in OB-Gyn/Primary Care/Ambulatory Leadership.
Oh, and an enema called a fizzik(sp?). I think that must be used around the Pittsburgh, PA region.

Physic

ETA: I see it's been addressed. :)

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Specializes in Trauma Surgery, Nursing Management.
annister said:
In the south, at least the part I live in, just the way the layperson says any medical affliction sounds like a new term, I reckon.

About peoples' diabetes terminology, I had to hold my tongue when I answered a call light the other night:

Me: can I help you?

Redneck: yeah, sugar just took a dump.

Me talking: ...let me get your nurse for you

Me thinking: did this guy just call to tell me his dog crapped on the floor?...do we even allow dogs in here?...no, maybe he's talking about his girlfriend? Whaaa?

Nope, that's just southern for "I feel like my blood glucose is too low"

Well now I know better.

OH LORD! I am peeing in my pants! This is SOOOO funny!

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Specializes in Trauma Surgery, Nursing Management.

Had a pt when I was doing my OB rotation in school tell me that her "mirk would not come in." I was racking my brain trying to figure out who Mirk was. Was that her cat or something?

Nope, she pointed to her breasts, looked at me like I had three heads and said, "Lady, I don't unnerstand why my MIRK ain't coming in! My baby's dun gonna starve."

Ah. Gotcha. Let's get a lactation consultant please.

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Specializes in Trauma Surgery, Nursing Management.

This thread reminds me of so many funny stories. I had a pt once that was having a lower GI the next morning, so I had to give him his bowel prep. I warned him that he would be going to the bathroom pretty often, and to call me if he needed help. When I went back in to check on him a few hours later, he told me, "I have been to the poop store so often that there ain't nothing left on the shelf."

Don't you just love funny patients?!?

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"His lungs ain't makin as much air as they should be"

Oh? That sounds terrible!

And the family members that want to know every lab value tested, then proceed to ask what they mean.

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Specializes in Geriatrics, Home Health.

About 10 years ago, during the post 9/11 anthrax scare, I fell down the stairs and sprained my foot. As I waited in the ER to get my ankle x-rayed, a woman rambled incessantly that her husband was being screened for "Amtrak."

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Specializes in Peds/outpatient FP,derm,allergy/private duty.
EricJRN said:
Interesting! Had to look that one up.

https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/physic

etaoinshrdluRN said:
Had a very elderly pt. request a "fizzik" when he felt his bowels weren't moving regularly enough. In his case, he was satisfied with MoM. I do think "physic" is an old term for anything purgative of the bowels.
klone said:
Physic

ETA: I see it's been addressed. ?

Thank you all . . .I've now earned my place in the say it/spell it correctly threads under the what not to do section along with click* and nitch**. ?

*clique **niche

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Due to the fact that I work in a pain management office, mine are mostly related to narcotic medications. Some of my favorites:

Zoma for Soma

Anal-gel-eesick for Analgesic

Naircotic for Narcotic

Feorificet for Fioricet

But, the best thing is when patients complain of arthritis by saying that "Old Arthur's acting up."

Oh, and before I forget, my cousin had put on facebook that her son was going to have a RMI done of his head to diagnosis the cause of chronic headaches, so when I saw her at the grocery store, I asked what facility the test was going to be done at, by calling it an MRI. She informed me that it was an RMI, and that I was wrong. I walked away, loudly repeating that an MRI is a Magnetic Resonance Image, not a Resonance Magenetic Image!

Those are mine though...

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I've worked with a couple of nurses that say, "X patient's o2 stat is..."... umm.. their stat? what? when did oxygen become a statistic?

I hear that all the time, but it's not the families that say it, it's people that I work with INCLUDING RN's that I went to school with! I never understood it. Course I'm also the one that calls a SPO2 waveform by its monitor name, "Pleth" (As in, "His sats are in the 80's with a good pleth (waveform)).

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Smiling Mighty Jesus, Spinal meningitis.

Sick as hell anemia

dilala

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Specializes in Peds Medical Floor.

I have a resident who calls milk of magnesia milk of magmeesma. I like the one about calling arthritis "Arthur."

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