Favorite "Lay Terms" For Diagnoses

[OleMissRN]

Some of my favorite mispronunciations or "shortening" of a diagnosis by patients and/or family members:

The Gouch - Gout

The High Blood/Low Blood - Hypertension/Hypotension

The High Sugar - Diabetes (sometimes they actually mean hyperglycemia...but usually mean Diabetes)

The Bad Lung - COPD

Also included are the times that people completely ignore the ventilator in the room and the ETT in the pt's mouth and ask me why Johnny won't talk to them.

Anybody have any others that they found humorous?

[canesdukegirl, BSN, RN]

She informed me that it was an RMI, and that I was wrong. I walked away, loudly repeating that an MRI is a Magnetic Resonance Image, not a Resonance Magenetic Image!

I had an INSTRUCTOR call MRI Magnetic Renaissance Imagery. No kidding.

[Guest717236]

From my sweet little pediatric client who upon entering the exam room said with a proud tone and a big smile--

I have Chicken POPS 

(for chicken pox)

We loved his diagnosis!

[ebear, BSN, RN]

MILK OF AMNESIA 

[Horseshoe, BSN, RN]

On the nurse side, almost nobody is able to correctly pronounce "metoprolol."

On the TV show House, he once ordered methylprednisolone for a patient. All the doctors would say "Give him the methylprednisolone!" Over and over they said it, always beautifully. I was yelling at the TV, "How many takes did that require?! Just say Solu-medrol for God's sake like everyone really does!" I'm sure the actors would have appreciated that!

[mama_d, BSN, RN]

When I was breastfeeding our youngest, I had to giggle when I heard our then 8 year old explain to his doc that I was crabby b/c I had "maskritis in her breath". I had to explain that I was crabby not b/c of mastitis, but b/c the kids always get sick after I've worked three in a row.

The same child explained to family, at the age of 10, that he was upset with me b/c I had a "hysterical-ectomy" and could no longer have kids (which of course we should have consulted with him about apparently).

[prinsessa]

My grandma talks about her "arthuritis". I don't have the heart to correct her LOL. I have heard quite a few nurses say trough (as in vanco trough) wrong. Some people say it to rhyme with grove.

[sevensonnets]

My patient was a direct admit from the MD's office with shortness of breath but he seemed not to understand that. Denied pain, shortness of breath, lungs clear, sats 98%. I was puzzled. "Have you been short of breath?" He says, "I might as well admit it, lady. My bowels ain't moved since yesterday." I said, "So you had a BM yesterday?" and he goes, "Yeah, but it wasn't enough."

[misspriss1214]

OMG I was laughing so hard at this my eyes were tearing!!!!

[anonymurse]

It pays to tell pts they're going down for an x-ray of the neck rather than a 'cervical x-ray.'

[maikranz]

ebear said:

MILK OF AMNESIA 

I could use that some days!

Some people have a "cysk" removed.

[sevensonnets]

My patient says she takes a Loralax every morning: a Lortab plus Miralax. Drug companies should get busy on that one!

[linearthinker, DNP, RN]

I have a patient who has "pain-cretis." I make a point of saying pancreatitis and she always corrects me, lol