Some of my favorite mispronunciations or "shortening" of a diagnosis by patients and/or family members:
The Gouch - Gout
The High Blood/Low Blood - Hypertension/Hypotension
The High Sugar - Diabetes (sometimes they actually mean hyperglycemia...but usually mean Diabetes)
The Bad Lung - COPD
Also included are the times that people completely ignore the ventilator in the room and the ETT in the pt's mouth and ask me why Johnny won't talk to them.
