I was wondering, do you think that countries that do more elder care in family settings, rather than institutional ones, will fare better in this crisis?
I read today, on a mainstream news outlet, that in some states 50% of the fatalities from the Coronavirus are from nursing home patients. More than 10,000 nursing home deaths in NY alone.
I'm pretty sure that less wealthy countries do most of their eldercare by relatives. What do you think? Nursing homes seem to be a vortex for coronovirus fatalities.
My Dad was a musician and music teacher. You have almost certainly heard his trumpet. He is the trumpet player in the video I'll post at the bottom of this post.
A couple days before he died my Daddy gave me a wonderful gift.
He was in hospice with mets in his bones and paralysis traveling up from his spinal cord. Step-Mom was the official caregiver. After a 12 hour registry day shift I turned on my phone to a message from my sister, who is not a nurse, and step-Mom to come right away. I let my husband know where I was going and drove to their house. The "emergency" was a code brown in the king size bed!
While I cleaned and changed the sheets I let them know I would be there as long as needed.
Step-Mom said to me, "It must be difficult doing such a personal thing to your own father."
My Daddy said to her, "No. She is a professional. To her it was like me practicing scales."
What a wonderful gift from a daddy to his nurse daughter! ?
That is awesome! I saw that scene recently on ME TV. I still love the timeless wholesomeness of The Andy Griffith Show. And it's at its best when Andy brought music into it.
When I was growing up, my mother threw me out of the house several times when I had become too old to beat. The feelings of abandonment I felt were infinitely worse than the beatings. Unlike the Millennial stereotype of kids living with their parents, I have lived alone and paid everything since I was twenty or twenty-one.
Your mother must have been one iron muscle dewd.
I've been on my own since I was 17. Never had a nickel in my pocket that I didn't put there myself. I could probably write a book about what my parents did wrong. But it didn't make me a monster.
Specializes in Critical care, tele, Medical-Surgical.
1 hour ago, Daisy4RN said:
Beautiful gift indeed! And your Daddy was quite talented also.
I am glad my Dad died first because he was absolutely devastated when my Mom died and I didn't want him to have to go through that again.
My Mom was an insulin dependent diabetic since childhood. She died at age 54. My Dad worked almost every day or night playing his horn or giving trumpet lessons for two years until step-Mom moved into his building. They had 18 good years together until he died. Sisters and I cared for her when she developed dementia. We spent her money on a very nice six patient care home. One of us was there every day.
If you're going to call me a monster at least say so openly. Don't beat around the bush and pin it on the anecdote.
You asked and I told you. If you prefer to believe something else that's on you, right?
1 minute ago, herring_RN said:
My Mom was an insulin dependent diabetic since childhood. She died at age 54. My Dad worked almost every day or night playing his horn or giving trumpet lessons for two years until step-Mom moved into his building. They had 18 good years together until he died. Sisters and I cared for her when she developed dementia. We spent her money on a very nice six patient care home. One of us was there every day.
Your step mother was blessed. I hope your good karma reaches all of you.
Specializes in OR, Nursing Professional Development.
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I'm close with both of my step-parents now. My father's second (trophy wife) who had the sense to dump him after 7 years of his BS. And my Mom's widower, who I hated for years (he's apologized for his shortcomings). He's 93 now, an amazing role model of healthy lifestyle leading to good results.
I already warned my children that if they put me in a SNF after all the sacrifices I've made for them I would definitely come back and haunt them. I meant every word. They better take turns taking care of me!
Specializes in NICU, PICU, Transport, L&D, Hospice.
My mother had a mean and judgemental mouth my entire life. She was most concerned with outward appearances and the opinions of strangers. As she aged and her COPD worsened she drank too much vodka and her words got meaner. I stopped visiting her when she started talking crap about my children. When she was dying, I took time from my work and stayed in her home to help my dad with her care. I did it because it was the right thing to do for my mother and for myself...it was the right lesson for my adult children. Because under the years of unacceptable conduct, there was still a bond and a foundation of compassion that required my best in the moment.
Having said that, I would never have moved her into my home to live with my children. Her opinions were too toxic and freely shared. I would have paid for in home care first.
Emergent, RN
4,304 Posts
That is awesome! I saw that scene recently on ME TV. I still love the timeless wholesomeness of The Andy Griffith Show. And it's at its best when Andy brought music into it.