Family pushing antidepressants...why won't I agree??

KaroSnowQueen, RN · Feb 26, 2012

NOT as a nurse, but as the mother of a grown daughter who could well have written your post, for pity's sake, take your doc's advice!!! If you try it for a couple of months, you, along with your family, may be very surprised at the difference in your outlook on things. Long term depression can give you that 'I-don't-deserve-to-feel-better' kind of feelings. I have watched my own daughter struggle with this very issue for literally 12 or more years. I beg you to give yourself the chance to get better and enjoy life.

Davey Do · Feb 26, 2012

I am NOT seeking medical advice...just trying to understand why, as a healthcare professional, I know medications can help but also why, as a person, I am extremely resistant to starting on meds. I genuinely don't know why..I try to keep to myself and my struggles to myself so it's not an attention seeking thing....

I respect your post and truly empathise with you, Lucky.

KSQ eloquently said just about everything you needed to hear, but I'd like to add one more point: Your thought process, at this time, is somewhat impaired. Emotions do that to logic. So, whatever the reason is for you not wanting to take your prescribed medication, the reasoning process is impaired.

My post is submitted with all due respect. The very best to you.

Dave

**CalicoKitty, BSN, MSN, RN** · Feb 26, 2012

Nobody here can give medical advice. I have no clue what is prescribed for you. I know that for a period of time while I was in school, I became overwhelmed and got an anxiety medication from my doctor. I took it for a few months, managed to 'improve', and stopped taking it after some of the stressful periods ended.

I don't think there is any harm in trying the medication. Nothing to force you to keep taking it if you don't like it. You are probably beating yourself for your current self-abuse as well as the events of the past. Chances are you can't really "work through" them while you're drowning. Medications may be a way to help you find focus, and maybe a chance to climb out of the depression and anxiety you are in. You're right. They may not work. But if they do, your husband can have "his" wife back, and you may start to get your life back. If not, you've simply tried another method for the 'madness'.

If you want to try to rationalize it, try to keep a journal of your feelings/anxieties. Take the medications and see if it has an a positive effect. Could try the "1 to 10" scale for specific or general issues.

You could try to empathize with your family and other loved ones. See how you would feel in their shoes. Imagine the advice you'd give yourself.

If nothing else, try other things to improve your life and well-being. Just don't give up.

IEDave, ASN, CNA, LVN · Feb 26, 2012

Hmm...well, to answer your question, a few reasons why you might be hesitant to take the medication:

1) That you're intellectually aware of a problem, but that you're not emotionally aware of it - in other words, that you're still emotionally treating the situation as a case of the "Saturday morning blahs" instead of a situation that's potentially much more serious;

2) That you're tired of being browbeat by those in your "inner circle" about this - in other words, the usual pig-headed stubbornness that seems to be the birthright of every blasted human being on this planet (me included - guilty! );

3) That you don't trust the solution offered to actually solve the problem.

Having said this, let's look at the situation a bit more dispassionately. First, irregardless of how others look at a situation, if you don't "buy into" the idea that there genuinely IS a problem, it's not going to be a problem TO YOU. So, I'd ask this - do you think you have a problem? Not what others have told you - do YOU think you have a problem? Unless you can answer "yes" to this question, the rest is just window dressing, and there's no need for further discussion.

Second, if you've decided that there is a problem, what possible solutions can be used to correct it? And, frankly, that's one where I'd have to hand it over to someone else - I'm not qualified to make that call. What I'd recommend would be to find an individual that you genuinely trust and have a heart-to-heart talk with them about this, and ask their advice - not a bunch of random strangers on the Internet. If you find their advice to be sound, take it. If not; well, you just hit a sticking point - but, you now have a bit more insight into the problem, which is that you either FEEL that you're getting bad advice, or that you actually ARE getting bad advice. Something you can take up with your doctor.

Third - will it work? As far as a pharmacological solution - maybe. Yes, there's a possibility of side effects; but, if it helps to correct what's ailing you, side effects can be managed. And, if there's any possibility of something going wrong, it sounds like there's no shortage of people looking out for you that are willing to help you.

Ultimately, though - the identification of, and the solution to, this or any other problem that confronts you is up to you to address, confront, and ultimately solve. All we can really do is advise, and pray for you.

Take care, Lucky

----- Dave

Esme12, ASN, BSN, RN · Feb 26, 2012

You are depressed. Depression is an illness and a chemical imbalance. You need medication. If you were diabetic, hypertensive, epileptic...... would you refuse insulin, meds and anti seizure medication? Your family lOVES you and wants you to get better. You don't see the meds will help because you are so depressed and your feeling of being unworthy are apart of that depression. You don't want to leave your house, you feel you aren't worthy of treatment, you are suffering from major depression and your family loves you. You need medicine to help your medical disorder!!!

Take the meds for you family at first until you can see the Forrest for the trees. Tell you therapists that you can't afford the meds, there are other resources. Please, please take your medicine.....for you family's sake if not for yours at first. When you begin to feel better in a few weeks it will be easier to take it for you. :hug:

annietart · Feb 26, 2012

I can safely say that I railed against taking meds for years, but now that I've been on them for a few years I won't go off them. They've made such a marked difference in my life it's amazing. Do your research, keep going to therapy, and don't blindly follow advice.

Keep fighting! You are worth more than a life ruined by illness.

CapeCodMermaid, RN · Feb 26, 2012

I'm not one of those 'better living through chemicals' nurses and, frankly, I think many people take far too many medications. BUT, when you have exhausted all other treatments as you apparently have, there is only one thing left to do: TAKE THE MEDS.Depression is a disease. If you had CHF would you not take Lasix or Digoxin? If you had diabetes would you refuse to take insulin?Take the medication, feel better, start your new job, and then come back and post here to let us know how you are. Yes, I've been accused of being bossy!

morte, LPN, LVN · Feb 26, 2012

" Depression is an illness and a chemical imbalance"

................. if this were demonstrable on lab work, it would be so much easier to "see"

and acquiesce to the pharmaceutical spere.

on the other hand, if you can't do it for you , can you do it for family? this at least would get you started.

ktwlpn, LPN · Feb 26, 2012

Your depressive thought process it self-defeating.That's what makes the disease so tough to treat.You need to seek counseling from a mental health professional and as others have said if you had something like CHF or diabetes you would treat it,right? Get into counseling ASAP-that will really help.Sit down and evaluate yourself right now-write out a list of questions about how you feel at this moment and then make a contract with yourself that you will take the med every day for a certain number of days and then re-evaluate asking yourself the same questions.You may have to play a bit with the med,the dosage and the time you take it.Work with your doc and counselor-YOU ARE WORTH IT!

mustlovepoodles, RN · Feb 26, 2012

OP, my heart goes out to you. I have been in your shoes and it's a terrible way to live. I tried pretty much everything you mentioned and those things helped, briefly, but nothing made the depression go away for long. I felt suicidal pretty much all the time. And STILL i wouldn't take the meds--how messed up is that??

Then one day I hit my wall--I couldn't go on one more day without treatment. I went to work, all the while making my final plans. Thankfully, my emotions got the best of me at work and I ended up breaking down right there. Best thing that ever happened to me, btw(although it didn't feel so good at the time.) My DH took me to a local psych facility for evaluation and I ended up admitting myself. During the admission I was put on meds and I had no choice but to take them or be kicked out. I realized that I really was more desperate to live than to die, so I complied with treatment. That is not to say that it has been an easy thing--it's not. I have a long, long history of noncompliance so I had to learn a new way of living. But I have to admit, putting myself in that situation and being required to take the meds and getting therapy, together resulted in getting some stability for the first time in my life.

That was 3 years ago. There have been a couple bumps in the road, but for the most part I have been able to continue compliance. I have accomplished more personally in the last 3 years and been happier & more satisfied with my life than I ever have been. I no longer entertain suicidal thoughts. It wasn't until I got UNdepressed that I realized just how bad it was. I thank GOD that there is medication & therapy for people like me. I dont' even have to wonder where i would be without this experience. I can tell you--I would be dead. I would be dead. But instead, I live a fulfilled life with my family, I have a great job, I have been able to develop some much needed hobbies and at the age of 55 I am finally getting to know myself.

I wish you all the best in your trials. You've tried everything else, now try the meds. Give it at least 3 months. It won't be easy, but your life right now isn't easy.

wyogypsy, RN · Feb 26, 2012

It won't hurt to try the meds. Hopefully they will lift you far enough out of your depression that you can make good decisions, which at this point it doesn't sound like you can. As for side effects? I take an anti-depressant. It gives me vivid dreams (I look at it as a free movie every night when I go to bed), and dry mouth - so I drink a lot of water and use hard candy. I can not believe how taking my medication changed my life. I would beg on the streets if I had to for money to buy it, because I know what hell life was without it. If you try them and don't see a difference, or don't like them, you can always go off - but you won't know if they help till you give it an honest try!