Falsely Accussed, Manager a Witch

[Furoffire]

Today I took wonderful care of a MVA pt. on a tele floor. The patient and I formed a bond, I was kind and attentive. My manager came out on the unit, headed to the patients room and apparently had a list of complaints from a daughter that was out of town. The other daughter was at the bedside and said that I threw the meal trays at the patient, used foul language, abondaned the pt. on the commode, on and on......lies, lies, lies. I was called in the manager's and she read off the list, said she only had a short time to humililate me. I was shocked and denied all the allegations. The manager took sides with the family and said maybe I come off like "that." I went into the patients room to give her more pain meds and the patient broke down and expressed that her family is screwed up and can't understand why they called and told the NM lies. My manager warned me not to say anything but the pateints started the conversation and wanted to speak to the NM to deny the lies.

What bothers me is that my NM cannot ever find anything positive to say about me, I work hard and go out of my way to please my patients and family. All she does is focus on the wrongs. I am the one who usually updates careplans, makes entries in the educational sheet etc.

I am getting tired of being under a mircroscope and feel like telling her to shove it and I've had enough of being her victum. I've been a nurse for a long time and have always had good reports and reguarded highly. Now I feel lke a looser, or am being made to feel like one.

I live in a one hospital town and have no where else to go unless I leave my husband and move back to a larger city.

I am tired and blowing off steam but I don't know how much more I can take with the witch. Any suggestions for assertion. I wish I would of told her to interview my other patients. I cried all the way home and its not the first time and I have never had a job where I have felt like this. This unit is hurting for nurses, always short staffed, you'd think I'd be cherished instead of crapped on. Kit

[LauraF, RN, ASN, CNA, LPN, RN]

What about a different unit? Doctor's office? LTC?

[weetziebat]

Hon, there are just some people who are mean, nasty and are drawn like magnets to positions of power. People like your manager, who is in a position to say whatever she wants to you, feeling there is not a whole lot you can do about it.

Your manager chose to believe the patient's family (and whatever reason they had for complaining) without at least checking it out with the patient first, and ASKING you about the accusations. So you were guilty before you were even questioned. Not good management style, huh?

My only suggestion would be to make an appointment, as soon as possible, with your manager and (wide-eyed and very nicely, of course) say you feel antagonism from her and wonder what you are doing to cause it, and how you can improve? Kill her with sweetness, about how concerned you are that you may not be doing the best you can by your patients, and can she help you to upgrade your care. No sarcasm, no rolling eyes, etc. - just play it like the dumb little nurse trying to do her best, and needing super manager's advice on how you can improve. You might be surprised by her reaction.

If that doesn't work, I'd search really hard for another place of employment.

Good Luck!

[RebeccaJeanRN]

I'd tell you just to tell her to 'bite me', but you mentioned that its a one hospital town. I think your story says succinctly why turnover is an issue there. You really HAVE to find other nursing career options. That manager, wth that kind of 'style' isn't likely to change. She has probably pushed others out before you, and will push others out after you too. You may think you have no other options, but eventually you will be forced out and then you really WILL have no other options. So...in the meantime, while you find out what else you can do in the local vacinity with your nursing skills, do what you need to do in order to remain sane such as document that meeting, and your feedback (and patient's feedback). Good luck!

[JBudd, MSN]

Have you tried going up the chain of command? Who is her boss? I would not confront this manager alone, I would ask her boss to sit in on a "clear the air" session. Line up your ducks, write down time and dates of confrontations or put downs, write down quotes, (did she really say out loud she only had a short time to humiliate you :uhoh21: ). This is harrassement, no arbitrator in the world would think humiliation is an appropriate disciplinary action for a professional.

[smilin_gp]

Are you at all close to another town or city with a hospital? It does sound like the work environment that you are in is toxic to a point. Maybe worth a commute to escape this?

[Kikumaru]

I live in a one hospital town and have no where else to go unless I leave my husband and move back to a larger city. Kit

Leave your husband? Are you serious?

[llg, PhD, RN]

Have you tried going up the chain of command? Who is her boss? I would not confront this manager alone, I would ask her boss to sit in on a "clear the air" session. Line up your ducks, write down time and dates of confrontations or put downs, write down quotes, (did she really say out loud she only had a short time to humiliate you :uhoh21: ). This is harrassement, no arbitrator in the world would think humiliation is an appropriate disciplinary action for a professional.

I would definitely go up the chain in the command and perhaps involve your Human Resources Department. Emphasis how much you care about the hospital and your patients and that you are looking to find a solution to your problem that will allow you to continue your career there.

You may also want to discuss your situation with a lawyer in case you end up fired. You may have a case for harrassment or "hostile work environment" or something like that and you will need to have done all the steps correctly if you want to win a settlement later.

llg

[JentheRN05, RN]

I agree with llg, you need to go up the chain of command. I never got anywhere in your posts that you don't like your job, in fact, it seems you love you job, just can't stand the management. I think if you went up the chain, you are likely to rattle some cages, but it may do you some good. You won't have to leave your job because of management - likely somewhere down the road if you keep at it, then someone will get the hint (keep dropping the words "hostile work environment" - someone will get the hint and do something)

Good luck

[muffie, RN]

have a buddy to witness all meetings

[bargainhound, RN]

You never really know what is going on in people's thoughts when they

do stuff like this to other people. Sometimes you find out later that

the person is a drug addict or alcoholic and is trying to get attention off

themselves. Sometimes they are jealous of you and are really just

a sociopathic personality and do anything they can to destroy people.

Sometimes they have a brain tumor. I am serious. I have seen all these

things through the years. It is horrible to go through, but makes sense

once you get the whole picture (later).

Whatever the reason for the behavior, I would do whatever you need

to do to protect yourself and get into a work situation that you can

tolerate.

Other posts have given some good ideas.

I guess my point is that the management does not always make sense

and the managers are people and can be really messed up in the way

they think and treat their staff.

[VivaLasViejas, ASN, RN]

Sounds like you work for the very same manager I did up until 9 months ago.

I have only one piece of advice for you: RUN, do not walk, away from that toxic, soul-killing environment. Life is way too short to put up with this sort of treatment. There are many other ways to be a nurse; please, please find one before this manager shreds your self-esteem and your confidence in your nursing skills. I know whereof I speak..........NO job is worth what this woman is doing to you.