Excluded from clinical group

[Bisquet]

I just finished my first week of nursing school so maybe it just takes time, but I feel like I'm being consistently left out of my clinical group. They formed cliques pretty early on and already seem so close-knit. I'm pretty introverted and I know my social skills need work, but I feel like I've been pretty friendly so I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong.

I don't mind not being friends since you don't really click with everyone, but I don't even feel welcome most of the time. Like we all downloaded an app to keep in contact, and one girl said she'd add everyone's numbers to form a group. I feel like they've been using it already but it's been 3 days and I haven't even received a group invite. If we're having group discussions I get talked over or don't even get my opinion asked. If we have to split up into pairs people seem reluctant to pair up with me. I'm on okay terms with one girl in the group but she isn't always there, so today in lab when we were supposed to practice using the BP cuffs I was left on my own with no one to practice with.

I'm honestly happy I got into nursing school and happy I got through the first week but this is just breaking my heart.

All the teachers say "rely on your classmates! They'll be your support!" but I don't feel any of that. I'm fine working on my own and I don't mind working with a group, but rejection isn't fun.

Should I just...wait it out, relax and try to be as helpful as possible? Confront them to see what the issue is and if we can work it out? Ask to switch to another clinical group? Just...accept the situation, plow through on my own and hope for a better semester in the spring? I don't know. I want to be able to focus on my reading and training for skills lab but this is weighing over my head.

[HikingNurse8789]

I'm wondering if your timid nature is coming off as snobby or disinterested to your group members. If your have a discussion, speak up, jump in there, let them see you do care and have an opinion. Be proactive and ask again to be added to the communication app. If this doesn't work, you will honestly just have to brush it off. Sometimes, you just don't mesh well with people, I have had it happen to me and I'm outgoing and talkative.

[Bisquet]

Huh... I didn't think that's how I might have come off. I'll work on it, thank you.

[barcode120x, RN, NP]

I don't see a need for you to confront them about this unless you personally think your "friendship" is off balanced and have the urge to do something about it. You said it yourself that you're doing just fine on your own. My class had several groups of clicks, but there was a good portion of those that kept to themselves but were very friendly, nice, and smart and did hangout once in awhile when invited. Remember, in the end you here in the nursing program for yourself, not for your classmates.

[caliotter3]

Focus your attention on what you need to do. If no one partners with you, so be it. In nursing school I found that other students sought me out when they needed or wanted something from me. Not exactly an extraordinary situation. I survived.

[NurseGirl525, ASN, RN]

It's week one. Give it some time.

[WanderingWilder, ASN]

I'm introverted as well, so I feel your pain. If you end up in a situation again with everyone pairing up but the group is uneven go up to one of the pair's and just say we have an uneven number can I join you guys. Go up to the person who said they were going to set up the app and tell her you haven't gotten an invite yet. Maybe she missed you. Try not to assume people don't like you, they may be assuming that you don't like them.

[Bettyloublu14]

I know how you feel, I am somewhat of an introvert too, I haven't started my clinical classes yet, but I have been in a similar situations in other classes. It would hurt my feelings as well at first, but then I've learned to just "jump in there" like another poster said. I tell myself that maybe the other classmates are just shy too. It happens and if they are really trying to exclude you, don't worry about them some people are just turds.

[FolksBtrippin, BSN, RN]

The part of nursing school where you rely on your classmates hasn't happened yet. There will be many dramas and fallouts before that time. If you are not the type to claim that people you just met are your besties you will be in a good position when all that crap happens, and you may actually make some real friends.

The best way to make friends in nursing school is to focus on your work and be an excellent student. Talk to people who are friendly to you and be busy studying around people who are not. Eventually, people will seek you out if you are a good student. That hasn't happened yet but I guarantee you that it will.

In the meantime, ask the group about an invite to the app. If they do not include you on it, then it isn't really for your clinical group. It's just a group text. And it would probably be really annoying. Here is a brief synopsis of what you may be missing:

omg I can't believe that we have to read all these chapters

omg I'm so stressed out, how do we not even have our clinical assignments yet????????

I'm sooooooo tired I just can't even.

And your phone will be bing, bing, bing, bing. It's not fun. I recommend that you get the phone number of the girl you are friendly with instead. She will update you if something important actually goes down on that group text.

That having been said, do check for a facebook group for your entire cohort (not just your clinical group) or make one if one doesn't exist. That is helpful.

If you don't have a partner for BP's or whatever do you get to pair up with the instructor? Because that is a really good thing. It's always better to be paired up with an instructor than with someone who has no idea what they are doing. Take every opportunity to learn every single thing you can. Then someone will want to be your partner because you know what's going on. And someone else can have a turn to have the instructor. You can give up that position graciously. You can be magnanimous to your new partner, if she's not a jerk.

Hugs to you. I started nursing school at age 39, so I wasn't as affected by all the cliques and social garbage. I had a husband and children and a good set of friends outside of school. It still got to me a little though., even though I had a good skill set for dealing with it and a lot of outside support. If I had been 20 years old it would have broken my heart.

Have patience. I hope you believe me when I say that being a good student will help you personally, socially and in your future endeavors. I'm rooting for you.

[NICUismylife, ADN, BSN, RN]

Here is a brief synopsis of what you may be missing:

omg I can't believe that we have to read all these chapters

omg I'm so stressed out, how do we not even have our clinical assignments yet????????

I'm sooooooo tired I just can't even.

Nailed it!

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

We introverts have a tougher time and have to try harder to be a part of the group. I was astonished when someone I trusted told me that they thought my quietness meant I was snobbish and didn't want to be part of the group! I had a tough time jumping in and joining conversations since I was sure I had nothing interesting to say, and evidently that was seen by the others as meaning that I was uninterested in them.

I never was a part of the in-group in clinicals, but I eventually made friends, joined study groups and became a real part of my class. You will too, but you'll have to work harder at it than the extroverts have to. It's only been a week.

[Dunkingirl]

I felt that way in my first clinical group and a few years later, most of those students dropped out. I'm not sure if that's any comfort but it goes to show the people in your very first clinical group don't have to be your best friends I became very close with a few girls in my class while taking pre-reqs and now in senior year we're finally in a clinical group together! Don't stress it, you will get close with your entire class over the next few years, not necessarily that first group!