Engagement/Wedding Ring Question

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I just got engaged, but for now have a "stand in" ring so my fiance can save up and get me a "better" (read: more expensive -- it's what he wants and I'm fine with that lol) one. Well I've been looking, and I found one that is absolutely gorgeous, but it's morganite which some people say is too soft for a job such as nursing where you use your hands a lot. Opinions?

Specializes in Occupational Health; Adult ICU.

OOooh...ooo...I love this question!

Morganite is pink beryl. Beryl is Beryllium Aluminum Silicate; with no trace metals it would be colorless beryl; add some chromium and you have emerald; add some iron instead, and you have Aquamarine (blue); add some manganese and you have Morganite (pink). Almost all Morganite comes from Brazil (except as explained later—some comes from CA).

Morganite comes in various shades of pink to violet. The orange or yellow tints are undesirable and are treated (virtually all Morganite is heat-treated)(and I have no problem with that) by heat). The proper heat-treatment drives off the orange/yellow leaving a purer pink/violet.

Some might say that Morganite is not expensive. Well, some Morganite and some Emerald and some Aquamarine is also not expensive, but top color pure pink or pink-violet can run hundreds and even into the thousand per carat. The same holds true with all gems. Even amethyst, for instance from Four Peaks Arizona which looks more like a garnet can run many hundreds of dollars a carat. And I can sell you as much emerald or ruby as you want for $1 per carat, but I suspect you'd say: eww.

It's hardness is about 8. It's a bit harder than quartz (as in Amethyst) and not quite as hard as topaz (which by the way is almost all (99.99%) heat treated too. A bit” might not really be a bit since it may be 3-4x as hard as Amethyst, it's a log scale.

It's not brittle as zircon (the mineral not cubic zirconia a lab made diamond simulant) and so would survive fairly well in a ring. I think it's a lovely choice and I think it would survive with some care with no problem. It's a neat choice. It even has a history. It was named by the Acadamy of Science in CA in 1910 after JP Morgan, a financier who enjoyed gemstones. JP Morgan bank still exists today. If it was good enough for JP Morgan it's good enough for anyone.

Back in 1977 I was rock-hounding on Hiriart Hill in Pala, CA. I was breaking apart big, ugly quartz crystal clusters with a 3lb hammer. At the last second, too short to react I saw a flash of intense pink, a fraction of a second later I looked at perhaps a 1” Morganite laying in pieces upon the ground. Very frustrating does not describe my feeling then, or now. A 1” Morganite from Hiriart Hill today would fetch several thousand at an auction today, an identical appearing crystal from Brazil, perhaps a few hundred. Origin matters a lot to collectors). The worst part is that I did not collect the shards because then, I had no idea that each of them would cut a (in my mind small) 2-6 carat amazingly intense pink Morganite. I left the pieces there…wah! In short I left perhaps a thousand dollars' worth of potential faceted gems on the ground. We live and learn.

OK, as an FYI, I'm GIA certified in colored stones and spent most of my pre-nursing life as a goldsmith and am still fascinated by gemstones. Amazing what we old nurses know….eh?

Many places allow no rings for good reason. And then there are nursing jobs where contamination or cross-contamination is no issue, as in, for instance a nurse educator. It's fine to leave it at home--but hide it!

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OOooh...ooo...I love this question!

Morganite is pink beryl. Beryl is Beryllium Aluminum Silicate; with no trace metals it would be colorless beryl; add some chromium and you have emerald; add some iron instead, and you have Aquamarine (blue); add some manganese and you have Morganite (pink). Almost all Morganite comes from Brazil (except as explained later—some comes from CA).

Morganite comes in various shades of pink to violet. The orange or yellow tints are undesirable and are treated (virtually all Morganite is heat-treated)(and I have no problem with that) by heat). The proper heat-treatment drives off the orange/yellow leaving a purer pink/violet.

Some might say that Morganite is not expensive. Well, some Morganite and some Emerald and some Aquamarine is also not expensive, but top color pure pink or pink-violet can run hundreds and even into the thousand per carat. The same holds true with all gems. Even amethyst, for instance from Four Peaks Arizona which looks more like a garnet can run many hundreds of dollars a carat. And I can sell you as much emerald or ruby as you want for $1 per carat, but I suspect you'd say: eww.

It's hardness is about 8. It's a bit harder than quartz (as in Amethyst) and not quite as hard as topaz (which by the way is almost all (99.99%) heat treated too. A bit” might not really be a bit since it may be 3-4x as hard as Amethyst, it's a log scale.

It's not brittle as zircon (the mineral not cubic zirconia a lab made diamond simulant) and so would survive fairly well in a ring. I think it's a lovely choice and I think it would survive with some care with no problem. It's a neat choice. It even has a history. It was named by the Acadamy of Science in CA in 1910 after JP Morgan, a financier who enjoyed gemstones. JP Morgan bank still exists today. If it was good enough for JP Morgan it's good enough for anyone.

Back in 1977 I was rock-hounding on Hiriart Hill in Pala, CA. I was breaking apart big, ugly quartz crystal clusters with a 3lb hammer. At the last second, too short to react I saw a flash of intense pink, a fraction of a second later I looked at perhaps a 1” Morganite laying in pieces upon the ground. Very frustrating does not describe my feeling then, or now. A 1” Morganite from Hiriart Hill today would fetch several thousand at an auction today, an identical appearing crystal from Brazil, perhaps a few hundred. Origin matters a lot to collectors). The worst part is that I did not collect the shards because then, I had no idea that each of them would cut a (in my mind small) 2-6 carat amazingly intense pink Morganite. I left the pieces there…wah! In short I left perhaps a thousand dollars' worth of potential faceted gems on the ground. We live and learn.

OK, as an FYI, I'm GIA certified in colored stones and spent most of my pre-nursing life as a goldsmith and am still fascinated by gemstones. Amazing what we old nurses know….eh?

I've got to say, that was pretty interesting.

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Specializes in Nephrology, Cardiology, ER, ICU.

I've been a nurse a long time in many settings: PICU, adult ICU, nursing home, ER, etc.. When we got married (35 years ago) we were pretty poor, so I had an itty bitty ring.

Well, as we got things together, I got a really nice engagement ring. Wore it constantly until I knocked one of the prongs off so the ring went back to the jeweler and I had the stones reworked into an anniversary band (which is flat and smooth, no solitaire). I put my ittybitty engagement diamond into an "eternity" bracelet which is a bracelet that is welded onto your wrist - it doesn't come off ever. I've had these bracelets since 1998 without any issue (they fit snugly) and my anniversary band (with plain gold band wedding ring also) and never take any of them off.

I've also seen tattoos where the wedding band would be - they are very pretty too and maybe an option?

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Specializes in Postpartum/Lactation/Nursing Education.

You're not the only one. I do as well. Everyone I work with seems to as well. I do try to clean my rings often as well as washing my hands and using sanitizer constantly at work.

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OP, it sounds like you really have already made your decision, so not sure what else we can tell you...? You are certain you will be working in an office that allows the kind of ring you want, you are sure that the school you will attend will permit it....so....what do you want to know?

We can tell you that if you ever change jobs (and that is a resoundingly real possibility) then the new employer may have a policy in place that prevents you from wearing this ring. Or, may NOT have a clear policy but you may realize that the ring you desire is not appropriate in other work environments. I sure didn't have to be told "you can't wear that" to know that I SHOULD NOT wear it in certain jobs.

You are aware of the risks; an expensive ring that loses a stone in patient's bedding or belongings (and this you will experience in an office environment as well) is a total loss. A ring that injures someone because the stone or prongs were set too high or too sharp is a legal (and moral!) liability. A ring that brings home nasty little microorganisms is...well...just gross.

Choice is yours, and as long as you're ok with altering your choices to suit your job and lifestyle as the years go by, then it doesn't matter what we think :)

I was asking only ​about the specific stone, not about whether I should wear a ring to work or not...just if the stone I'm thinking about will be tough enough to handle work.

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Specializes in M/S, LTC, Corrections, PDN & drug rehab.
I was asking only ​about the specific stone, not about whether I should wear a ring to work or not...just if the stone I'm thinking about will be tough enough to handle work.

But you realize that wearing a ring has a direct correlation to work. If you are fine with bring germs home, potentially scraping a patient or losing the gem then wear it at work.

I know you said you will be working behind a desk but I think you will get bored with that & want clinical experience.

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But you realize that wearing a ring has a direct correlation to work. If you are fine with bring germs home, potentially scraping a patient or losing the gem then wear it at work.

I know you said you will be working behind a desk but I think you will get bored with that & want clinical experience.

Never said I would be working behind a desk. That was an [incorrect] inference. My dream job would be as a nurse at my pediatrician's office -- very little desk work there!

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Specializes in HH, Peds, Rehab, Clinical.

In an office? I'm sure any stone you choose will be fine

I was asking only ​about the specific stone, not about whether I should wear a ring to work or not...just if the stone I'm thinking about will be tough enough to handle work.
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Specializes in M/S, LTC, Corrections, PDN & drug rehab.
Never said I would be working behind a desk. That was an [incorrect] inference. My dream job would be as a nurse at my pediatrician's office -- very little desk work there!

You still need to take into consideration what might happen to your ring. If you want to work with children, the little ones will be grabbing for your ring & trying to put it in their mouth. Think of all the germs that will be hiding in your ring that will be going from patient to patient & then home with you.

But you seem pretty dead set on wearing a ring. I don't know why you came to AllNurses when you should've gone elsewhere for specific information on stones.

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Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
Oh, no financial strain here. We (my fiance) aren't buying a ring until we can afford it comfortably. I plan on working in an office setting, so I don't think a ring would be an issue. I know for a fact that my current employer allows rings (I'm an HHA with them right now, but they're one of the largest health care organizations in the area), so at least for the next while there are no issues. My school also allows rings and I know schools are usually stricter than out in the real world, but I do get the concerns raised here.

If you want to wear your engagement and wedding rings to work, wear them to work. Yes, you hear about people losing rings or losing stones at work, but I've also heard of folks losing them at home or leaving them on a sink in a public bathroom (took it off because they didn't want to lose it down the drain and then forgot it.) I wouldn't worry too much about what random posters on an internet board think about it. I've been wearing my rings to work for nearly 40 years with absolutely no issues whatsoever.

Congratulations on your engagement and best wishes for the future.

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The hardness of the stone is usually not the issue. The prongs are where things go wrong. A prong breaks, the stone falls out and is often not found. Check your prongs and occasionally have a jeweler check your ring.

If this is a worry, you can get the ring insured.

Something to consider... If your guy is saving up for a "better ring", maybe you might consider what else that money could buy. Maybe you are satisfied with the ring you have now and might use that money in ways that will help your marriage more than a nicer ring.

A "date night fund" a "couples vacation and adventures fund" , will help you lift out of the daily grind as time moves on. If there are loans consider a "financial freedom fund", especially if your goal is to work in a pediatrician's office. The lower pay could be offset.

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Specializes in Critical Care and ED.

When I was in the ICU I only ever wore a wedding band, but then I never had an engagement ring. If I had I would not have worn it to work because anything that is raised above a smooth band will rip gloves in an instant, and forget trying to double glove with a big ring on. I wear a plain silver band on my thumb too, and that's never been an issue. Now I'm not clinical it doesn't matter but I would not risk wearing a raised ring with sharp edges in a clinical setting because you'll either lose it in the trash when you take your gloves off, or it will rip your glove at the most inopportune time.

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