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Flare, ASN, BSN · Oct 10, 2018

Ever consider its an abused or beaten or bullied child using the easiest excuse they can think of to come to what they perceive as a safe place with someone who wont judge them and is supposed to care?
These arent small adults who throw tantrums over Starbucks cups not being Christmasy enough. They are vulnerable children and the bellyache you seem to be so quick to dismiss maybe from being punched by a drunk parent the night before.
Having been one of those abused kids, who never opened up to anyone because everyone always seemed to busy, I'd suggest maybe not being so quick to judge and taking the time to make sure there isnt an underlying condition.
I mean if the worst part of your day is a kid faking a tummy ache, its a pretty good day in the grand scheme of things.

Most of us who are long in the tooth as school nurses, sadly, have come across the child you describe. That is not our run of the mill visitor. That is not the child that runs around until they are out of breath at recess and then decides at reading the NOW they have a stomach ache. Every single day. Yes, we are aware that the stomach ache that the kids come in with when we see then frequently during a certain class are most likely due to difficulty with that subject, or missing homework, or yes on occasion due to a misarable home life that spills over into school. Trust me when I tell you that I have dialed CPS so many times at this point in my career that I no longer need to look up the number. I no longer need to listen through the prompts and I already know the questions they're going to ask me so when a child comes in with a complaint that could generate a call, I already know what follow up questions to askor how to steer the conversation to answer the questions that I will eventually be asked. So don't think for a second that the idea of an abused child is never far off my radar.

Farawyn · Oct 10, 2018

Most of us who are long in the tooth as school nurses, sadly, have come across the child you describe. That is not our run of the mill visitor. That is not the child that runs around until they are out of breath at recess and then decides at reading the NOW they have a stomach ache. Every single day. Yes, we are aware that the stomach ache that the kids come in with when we see then frequently during a certain class are most likely due to difficulty with that subject, or missing homework, or yes on occasion due to a misarable home life that spills over into school. Trust me when I tell you that I have dialed CPS so many times at this point in my career that I no longer need to look up the number. I no longer need to listen through the prompts and I already know the questions they're going to ask me so when a child comes in with a complaint that could generate a call, I already know what follow up questions to askor how to steer the conversation to answer the questions that I will eventually be asked. So don't think for a second that the idea of an abused child is never far off my radar.

You said this way nicer than I would have. Non school nurses need to get a clue.

Farawyn · Oct 10, 2018

I just hope they don't take it too strictly when you tell them they are told they are not allowed to come back or they have to wait a certain length of time before they can come back.
"Why didn't you go to the nurse"? "I did, she told me to leave and not come back". Or "She said I had to wait til after Math class.
Off to OR for appy.
Some kids scare easily and will truly fear your wrath more than their pain, which could turn out to be serious. Maybe not often, but it could happen.
It's kind of like telling your neighbor not to go to the doctor for this or that. And then their problem proves serious.

You, too.

Amethya · Oct 10, 2018

You said this way nicer than I would have. Non school nurses need to get a clue.

I agree. This is getting annoying.

k1p1ssk, BSN, RN · Oct 10, 2018

People seem to be missing the point of this thread.....

I just hope they don't take it too strictly when you tell them they are told they are not allowed to come back or they have to wait a certain length of time before they can come back.
"Why didn't you go to the nurse"? "I did, she told me to leave and not come back". Or "She said I had to wait til after Math class.
Off to OR for appy.
Some kids scare easily and will truly fear your wrath more than their pain, which could turn out to be serious. Maybe not often, but it could happen.
It's kind of like telling your neighbor not to go to the doctor for this or that. And then their problem proves serious.

I never say it with an ere of "consequence"; Maybe back in the day, school nurses were bullies. Not anymore. I only have wrath for the child that spends his entire math period shoving half of a giant roll of toilet paper down my toilet. Its more of a "try to see how you do and if you aren't feeling better after lunch, you can come back to see me and we'll come up with a new plan" I have nothing but sympathy and empathy for these kids.

If the kid is truly feeling ill, they will either not make it that long or will likely protest in that moment.

I don't have a portable CT scan in my office, so I can't make the call for the kid to go get surgery. That's for the ED docs to decide after making the family wait for 13 hours in the pit.

The "Why didn't you go to the nurse?" question is fair, but the point is, they did, and in my expert opinion, there was nothing wrong with them. If something changes, then fine, that warrants further explanation. I trust that the kids (and their teachers) can recognize when something has changed/they are truly feeling terrible or worse, and that will override my initial discussion with them.

We are all talking about the kids that waltz in, that have suddenly developed a non-descript tummy ache/headache/whateverache at a very convenient time (for them). These kids are not doubled over with fever, vomiting, diarrhea, etc. You ask them why they think they are feeling sick every day during the specific class they hate and they shrug their shoulders. School nurses take their jobs very seriously and if you think we don't, maybe don't troll our threads? You'll certainly hear our "wrath" if you do...

BrisketRN, BSN, RN · Oct 10, 2018

I don't think any of us are being cruel and turning away kids with complaints, fears, or worries. When a child comes in with a minor boo-boo it's my job, as the only medical professional in the school, to let them know they'll be ok. If their parents aren't preparing them for life--allowing them to solve minor issues on their own and cope with mild pain--then from 8AM to 3:30PM they'll learn it here. At school we don't give out ice packs and band-aids for invisible injuries and limbs with full ROM, no bruising, no swelling. It's not beneficial to either of us.

I think I can speak for most of us when I say we care deeply for these kids. If something seems off about these children we've known for months or years we will consult their teacher and the guidance counselor to see if they've noticed any changes. We won't hesitate to investigate a suspicious injury or a new reoccurring, unresolved illness. We also won't hesitate to call CPS if necessary.

Been there, done that, figured out which belly aches were anxiety/changes at home/abuse, which were bad tuna in the cafeteria, and which were not wanting to sit in English class.

NutmeggeRN, BSN · Oct 10, 2018

Ever consider its an abused or beaten or bullied child using the easiest excuse they can think of to come to what they perceive as a safe place with someone who wont judge them and is supposed to care?
These arent small adults who throw tantrums over Starbucks cups not being Christmasy enough. They are vulnerable children and the bellyache you seem to be so quick to dismiss maybe from being punched by a drunk parent the night before.
Having been one of those abused kids, who never opened up to anyone because everyone always seemed to busy, I'd suggest maybe not being so quick to judge and taking the time to make sure there isnt an underlying condition.
I mean if the worst part of your day is a kid faking a tummy ache, its a pretty good day in the grand scheme of things.

That is ALWAYS at the back of my mind, with any child.

However...This forum right here is OUR nurses' station, lunch table, storage closet etc, where we can go and spout off a little frustration. If, in your how many years of nursing? you have never ONCE grumbled under your breath about a frustrating pt or family member, then whoopdi do for you...

We have NO one but ourselves and often this forum to blow off steam. Then we turn right around and treat our kids with respect and love and We care for and nurture these children and their siblings and families, often for many years.

Farawyn · Oct 10, 2018

Ladies and Gentlemen, we need not defend ourselves against this crapola. We know what we do for our kids, and for theirs, every single day.

Love you all.

NutmeggeRN, BSN · Oct 10, 2018

Ladies and Gentlemen, we need not defend ourselves against this crapola. We know what we do for our kids, and for theirs, every single day.
Love you all.

I know but wow, that post found my very last nerve and did a lil tap dance on it!!

OldDude · Oct 10, 2018

You guys are absolutely the best of the best. You make me a proud OldDude!

EnoughWithTheIce · Oct 10, 2018

I think what most people don't get is that if you have been doing school nursing a while (13 years myself) that you develop a really good sense for what is actually going on with a kid. And yes, I do believe it is my job to keep a kid in class if they do not have a legitimate excuse to be missing instruction time. that is not being mean or cruel, that is acting in the best interest of the child.

What I have noticed is that kids cannot do anything at all for themselves. I have to tell them to use paper towel to dry their hands as they won't even try to look on the wall where it is. They just set trash on the counter with no thought that they should be taking it to the trash can. They even have a hard time signing themselves in when they arrive to clinic. I have sheets for them to complete with what I need highlighted. There is a calendar block and digital clock right in front of the clipboard yet 99% of them ask me for the date / time. No critical thinking skills at all. Robots who are used to being spoon fed. It is sad and frightening!

mc3, ASN, RN · Oct 10, 2018

We (society) are raising a lot of " soon to be adults " who have NO coping skills. Yes, even a five year old can have coping skills !! How will they stand the pressure of a coach telling them they need to toughen up ? Or a Teacher admonishing them to study for their upcoming test ? How will they survive the work force ( which is very competitive) ? Do we really want wimpy Marines defending our country ? I'm not saying ALL kids are snowflakes, but the vast majority are these days. I fear the shape of our world in several decades. I don't know about the rest of you, but when I get a student in my clinic who is legitimately sick......I LOVE helping them until parents arrive. ( not that I want any child sick ) , but 9 out of 10 of my clinic visits are for trivial things. Things that (age appropriate) kids who have healthy coping skills can easily handle......if they were taught by parents who give a crap. Sorry...not Sorry.. Truth...

Amen sister!