Embarrassed and depressed

Published

Now, I know this is a real stupid thing to whine about but it has been bothering me so much and I have no friends around here and just need to vent. Basically, my girlfriend of three years urged me to move back in with my parents to attend nursing school (I just turned 31). So I took her advice d I moved back home 4 months ago when I began RN school and then she dumped me (which is very painful and an incredible blow to my self-esteem). All of my fellow nursing students are working/living on own or married. I am constantly lying and hiding the fact that I live at home. I feel ashamed that I am 31 and now living with my parents because it is the only way I can afford school. I can't even begin to try to date again because any woman would think it is pathetic that a 31 year old guy lives at home. Did any of you have experience living with your parents at an age similiar to mine while in nursing school? I know I sound like a real loser, but I just needed to vent today, even if no one reads this.

Living at home while doing something productive is not even a little bit shameful. There is nothing embarrassing about families living together because it makes financial sense, especially these days. If you want to date, use this as a good screener for women who you wouldn't want to be with anyway.

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Actually, you don't sound like a loser.. It sounds like a real stand up thing to do in order to go to college and get your degree. I am 30 myself and in nursing school - with 2 kids and I tell you what.. I'd love to have family I could live with to go to school since my husband and I are now separated. It's admirable what your doing. Keep at school.. guys are much more attractive when they are going for their goals and succeeding!! :up:

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Specializes in Cath Lab.

I don't see a problem with it. Everyone has rough patches and that's what parents are for.

It's not like you're leeching from them, you're in school trying to make yourself better

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Specializes in ICU.

First of all, I want to say that you are not a loser. But I am going to be the odd one here who is going to say I'm not dating someone who still lives at home. I'm sorry, I'm not. That being said, I'm a little older than you at 39 so I'm sure my priorities are a little different.

Now, you don't need to be dating right now. I waited almost a year after my divorce before I felt ready to date. Once you have your degree, a job, and your own place, and nor depressed you are ready to date.

I skipped over guys who had no confidence. That is you right now. You need to see your doctor and see how to deal with your depression. I told several guys I would not see them again because they had too much baggage and were not ready for what I needed. They were not ready for a relationship.

My boyfriend now is not a money man or has a big house or anything. As a matter of fact he has a very tiny house that needs tons of work. But he is independent and confident about who is and that is why I am head over heels in love with him. I'm the one with the money in the relationship, but he doesn't need me and I don't need him. We enhance each other's lives. We were both confident in who we were before getting together. You need to be happy with you first.

Work on yourself while getting through school. Get your ducks in a row. Forget about the jerk who dumped you. Leave her in the dust. She will so regret leaving you when she sees how far you have come over the next couple of years.

You have better things ahead of you. Take these next couple of years to focus on you. Then, don't settle for the first girl to come along. Date a lot until you find that right girl. She's out there. I didn't meet my soulmate until I was 39. I turn 40 in ten days. I see my birthday as a new beginning in my life. My new and much better future with a man who respects and loves me. He is my best friend. We are buying a house together next year when I graduate from nursing school. We are trying to have a baby after our miscarriage in early October.

It it will happen for you. It's just going to take a little time. Good luck!! í ½í±í ½í±

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In no way should you ever feel like a loser for doing what you have to do in order to better yourself. The ONLY way a guy living with his parents would ever turn me off dating wise, is if he was just lazy or had no ambition to be independent. I've only just now finished one semester of nursing school and it's already emotionally and financially draining. I would love the opportunity to move back in with my dad if that was a possibility for me. Keep your head up. I have an ex who I thought ruined my life for the looongest time but now I see that him being the crappiest person on earth was actually such a blessing in disguise. As awfully corny as it sounds, time truly does heal all wounds and you'll come through better on the other side of things!

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There's no reason to feel embarrassed at all! You're not laying around on your parents' couch and playing video games all day - you went back to school to better your life! I'm 37 and I'm in second year of BScN, and I know it takes guts to go back to school when you're older than an average student. Any reasonable and sane person understands that people do sometimes move back with their parents to ease the financial burden of continuing their education - and those who don't, well heck with them ))) Focus on your studies, and don't worry about what other people think!

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Specializes in NICU, PICU, educator.

You aren't the first vet to come home and live with family to finish up school, and you won't be the last. Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do!

Reread your story as an outsider...first off thank you for your service, second, our government needs to help vets much more than they do, third, you've got this! Your parents support you in this, you help them with things around the house, make some meals, things like that. It is a win win situation in my eyes!!

Hang ng it up on that GF, when the right person shows up, it will be when you least expect it :) Focus on you. You've got this bud!

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By the way, there are 2 vets in my class, one of them just moved out of her parents house - she is in her late 30s. The other one is about your age and is renting a house with 6! other people - honestly, I don't know how is this any better than living with your parents; personally I would rather choose the latter! Again, your situation is not unique and you need to put it out of your head, you're not a loser!

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As someone who struggled with a relationship during nursing school, let me tell you that this is the absolute best thing that could ever happen to you. Nursing school is *THE* hardest thing you will ever do in your whole life, and you will be able to dedicate yourself to it now. Also, you can't see it now, but there is someone else out there for you that will make you happier. Have faith. And good luck to you.

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Oh, wow, you are about as far from a loser as there is! Think of what you have gone through and accomplished already. There is absolutely NOTHING shameful about living with your parents like you are. You are saving money, and helping them out, and spending time with them, and going to school for what will, I hope, be a great career. You are not lying around in your bedroom expecting your parents to wait on you.

If any of your classmates think you are a loser because you are living with your parents, well, to heck with them and what they think. And whatever happens with nursing school, you are still not a loser. Hang in there and hope you are doing well on your finals.

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Living at home is not a bad thing and please don't feel like a loser because of it. I just graduated nursing school and quite a few students lived with their parents. I live with my mother and I am 32. I do not feel like a 16 year old because I am an adult and my mom does not treat me as such. I am able to focus on school and work. I'm sorry things did not work out with your girlfriend. I think now, living at home is not looked as a bad thing as many students return to live with their parents after college.

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sometimes its hard to put into words how a person feels or what they think. I was the only combat vet in my nursing class, it was hard. Sometimes it felt like I didnt even speak the same language- PTSD is hard on a good day, but when you add the extreme stress of nursing school, for me sometimes it took everything I had just to get out of bed.

I was an army medic for 5 years and i miss it everyday. If i would not of been hurt I would still be with my guys. lol.

Last month I did something (still not really sure what) and was almost kicked out because my clinical site didn't want me there. However, as soldiers, we adapt and overcome. Now I am awaiting my ATT.

I am sorry about your girlfriend. Sometimes it's not about the person as an individual but more what they represented, and unfortunately, it can feel like a loss.

I am sure I am making a mess of this but please remember the 22/day and keep reaching out when you are hurting. Living with your family can be a great resource not only financially, but emotionally.

Keep your chin up and please message me if there is anything I can do.

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