Dumbest thing said to family

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So, I had an admission on Tuesday. 19 year old unresponsive with a right and left craniectomy..currently on a vent..scheduled to start weaning this past Wednesday. I forget what the mom and I were talking about...mom is really fragile btw (of course!)...the event happened early November. I said something like "I thought that I read in the chart that they removed one of her lobes". After I said it the mother freaked and started saying that the doctors didn't tell her that. She was pretty hysterical and I felt like an idiot. I really did think that I read it in the chart. I told her that I would double check...because I really hope that I wasn't telling her the wrong thing. Sure enough, I found the operative report and it said that a craniectomy was performed without lobectomy. What a douche I am! I went back to the mom and profusely apologized for saying what I said...the mother practically fell down in relief. I feel really bad. I've been thinking about this patient and her family since I left work on Tuesday. I am really nervous about going into work on tomorrow. I don't know if I will have her again. Should I stop beating myself over this? I am devastated. I am a first year nurse (5 months in) and I really do want to be great. I've really learned from this...learned to read more about my patients before blurting things out...

Specializes in Hospice.
I always say...Hi My name is Esme...you are the patient and you are...as I look to the family member

Me too, except I usually don't tell them my name is Esme.

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Specializes in neuro/med surg, acute rehab.

I never ever eve assume a family member is a wife/mother/etc - I don't care if they are wearing matching wedding bands and carrying a framed photo of themselves getting married, I will always say "Are you family?" Made THAT mistake too many times.

Also, I recently had an elderly man I was caring for and a woman who called herself his wife kept calling to check on him and one morning she called to check on him and about 30 minutes later I see a woman go in and hug him and start fussing with his glasses and I TOTALLY thought she was the wife and I went in and said, "Hi, great to finally meet you!" and she looked at me weird and the old man introduced her as his girlfriend! after she left, I went in and asked him about his wife and he grinned and said "I got two ladies and that's how I like it!"

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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I never ever eve assume a family member is a wife/mother/etc - I don't care if they are wearing matching wedding bands and carrying a framed photo of themselves getting married, I will always say "Are you family?" Made THAT mistake too many times.

Also, I recently had an elderly man I was caring for and a woman who called herself his wife kept calling to check on him and one morning she called to check on him and about 30 minutes later I see a woman go in and hug him and start fussing with his glasses and I TOTALLY thought she was the wife and I went in and said, "Hi, great to finally meet you!" and she looked at me weird and the old man introduced her as his girlfriend! after she left, I went in and asked him about his wife and he grinned and said "I got two ladies and that's how I like it!"

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

in the words of Mr. Takei...

ohhhh myyyyyy

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I know I can't be the only one that has made the mistake of switching someone's gender. Now that's mortifying. It's not always easy to tell with someone orally intubated, covered up to the neck with sheets and continuous EEG monitoring. I had a daughter flip out on me for that once, but again it was not my patient and she just stopped me in the hallway, I only got a quick glance :(

I've also made a young girl burst into tears within 10 minutes of arriving to the ICU when I told her about the remote possibility of intubation. Definitely hated myself for that one!

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Specializes in Neuro ICU and Med Surg.

My brother was mistaken to be my husband when I had my son 4 years ago. I was in the bathroom and he was in the room with my son. The nurse came in and said to him "Hi dad", and he freaked out a little and said "gross that is my sister's baby". In the nurse's defense my husband went home to shower and she hadn't met my husband yet. My brother was mortified he was assumed to be my husband and I laughed about it.

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Specializes in ICU.

@Green Tea: I was born and raised in the deep south. If you want to mimic a "drawlin soufland" accent, simply make every syllable into three~ such as, "ther-eee-ee," and toss in some honeys, sugars, or sweeties every few words. For example, "Ah want ther-eee-eee packs of sugah in mah tea-eee, honey. Thank you, dah-lin!"

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@Green Tea: I was born and raised in the deep south. If you want to mimic a "drawlin soufland" accent, simply make every syllable into three~ such as, "ther-eee-ee," and toss in some honeys, sugars, or sweeties every few words. For example, "Ah want ther-eee-eee packs of sugah in mah tea-eee, honey. Thank you, dah-lin!"

Would that be sweeeeee-teeeeee-ahhhh, honeychile? :)

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Specializes in Geriatrics, Home Health.

One of my Nursing Home Hell residents was a rather crochety old man. We got along really well. He was admitted to the hospital, and the family decided not to hold his room. I came upon them moving his stuff out, and told his son "I hope to see him back here soon." The son looked at me and said "No offense, but I don't.

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@Green Tea: I was born and raised in the deep south. If you want to mimic a "drawlin soufland" accent, simply make every syllable into three~ such as, "ther-eee-ee," and toss in some honeys, sugars, or sweeties every few words. For example, "Ah want ther-eee-eee packs of sugah in mah tea-eee, honey. Thank you, dah-lin!"

and end with "bless your heart" HAHAHAHAHA

To the Op--We all make errors. You learned from this and you can only go forward from here. {{HUGS}}

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Specializes in Med-Surg, NICU.
One of my Nursing Home Hell residents was a rather crochety old man. We got along really well. He was admitted to the hospital, and the family decided not to hold his room. I came upon them moving his stuff out, and told his son "I hope to see him back here soon." The son looked at me and said "No offense, but I don't.

I have to refrain from saying "see you later!" as that can come off as mortifying to some of the patients and their family members.

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Specializes in PICU.

I have made the gender mistake in a horrifying fashion. As others have suggested, I did not want to assume the relationship to the child so I decided I'd better ask. "Are you dad?" Unfortunately, it was mom. In my defense, she had more facial hair than my husband. ?

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Specializes in ortho, hospice volunteer, psych,.

A friend had intractable seizues and ultimately she had lobectomy. After a long year of recovery, she began teaching her preschoolers again. The children were divided by their ages into two groups, the four-year-olds and the five-year-olds. Each group

was taught by 2 teachers, assisted by two aides per group, and the entire process was overseen by my friend, who also floated between the two age groups.

One of the neuro ICU nurses had a child in the lower age group. She brought him for the first day of class, my friend stepped forward and began to introduce herself, and the mom broke in and said, "Oh, I remember you alright. You only have half a brain..." Uh, HUH?

The mom regained her composure (sort of) and began to stammer out an apology. Still speechless, my friend said, "It's OK."

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