Domestic Violence Survivor.

Published

Are there any other people on here who have survived domestic violence? how do you deal with it as a nurse? My husband of almost 2 years decided to try to kill me by throwing me against the wall and choking me. does anyone have any advice? I am going to nursing school, and i was wondering how this will affect my ability to get a job, due to the fact i had to run from the city i was living in to stay with my father.

I also experienced domestic violence. Had a broken nose and two black eyes and had to cover things up with really good makeup to be able to work.

As a nurse I dont think it really affected me in anyway.

I dont think you should have any problems....good luck to you!

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Specializes in CCU,ICU,ER retired.

I am sorry but your post is nothing more than attention seeking, I am not saying you are a bad person for doing so, but for your sake you must learn to fulfill yourself in a more constructive way.

Definately see a therpaist.

Yikes!!! I sure wouldn't want to run into while I am being treated for domestic abuse. therapist yes most definately Because that will help. If you have ever been beaten to a pulp by someone who said they loved you (and I have) I don't think you would want to hear someone say that to you. Oh yeah and in front of the kids.

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I am sorry but your post is nothing more than attention seeking, I am not saying you are a bad person for doing so, but for your sake you must learn to fulfill yourself in a more constructive way.

Definately see a therpaist.

(ohhhhhhh, I am going to get flamed for this........):stone

How incredibly heartless of you. This is probably the first time she has reached out, the very vagueness of her post suggests a timidity in saying what she went through... and to say she is attention-seeking??? I think the statement better applies to YOU for making a mean post designed to get yourself flamed and therefore turn the subject of this thread to YOURSELF! :angryfire

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Specializes in Med/Surg/Ortho/HH/Radiology-Now Retired.
I am sorry but your post is nothing more than attention seeking, I am not saying you are a bad person for doing so, but for your sake you must learn to fulfill yourself in a more constructive way.

Definately see a therpaist.

(ohhhhhhh, I am going to get flamed for this........):stone

Initially, I wasn't going to dignify you or your post with a response. However, it's SO repugnent, it can't go unchallenged.

You say you are also a "survivour", a "survivour" of what?!

I suggest you take your own advice ....."learn to fulfill yourself in a more constructive way!" Coming here to this BB and posting offensive and insensitive ramblings, isn't welcome!

This young woman is reaching out for advice and support.

I sincerely hope you NEVER work in women's health!

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Lets get back to the question at hand. Therapy is the best thing for you,as you need to grieve and learn to work it out. I am a victim of domestic abuse on and off for 15 yrs. Yes I finally left my husband and now have a new husband and a new life. It was not easy but my councellor got me through it.

I hope you have a good support system. What ever you do please please please don't do what I did. Do not blame it on myself and keep going back.

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Specializes in CCU,SICU,CVICU,Burn Unit.

I am a survivor of abuse. You did the right thing to leave, you did not DESERVE to be treated as you were. I agree to seeking therapy. I did me a lot of good. Keep your self safe, my ex decided to stalk me at work and home. Also the school does not need to know, unless you want to tell them.:icon_hug: You are wonderful, do not listen to anything he said.

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You must find a way to not let your horrible past define who you are.

I am speaking from experience with having a "bad" history, it is so easy to call yourself a victim and seek sympathy from everyone around you. I used to do it. If you are ever going to live a decent life you have to realize that you are not just a vicitm, you are YOU, a person who went through a horrible experience, and now you have to move past that and become you again.

I am sorry but your post is nothing more than attention seeking, I am not saying you are a bad person for doing so, but for your sake you must learn to fulfill yourself in a more constructive way.

Definately see a therpaist.

(ohhhhhhh, I am going to get flamed for this........):stone

If anyone is attention seeking I would have to say it is you Happy-ER-RN. You obviously made a sweeping generalization and are quick to judge others. You have labeled the OP as a "victim" and assume that is how she sees herself. I can't see anything constructive you said. You even said you were going to get flamed for this...now THAT is attention seeking.

~J

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Specializes in Geriatric/LTC, Rehab, Home Hhealth.

I had to go into hiding my last semester of nursing school. My classmates took up a collection for my kids and me. It was close to Christmas and I was SHOCKED when I found out that one of my instructor's children nominated my family for Christmas toys, food etc. Turns out they all knew long before I came clean about what had been happening and they were so happy to not only to help me get out of that situation, but help my kids as well. My first employer was also very supportive when I had to give them a copy of the restraining order to have on file. (I didn't mention it until after I was offerred the job, though).

On a personal note, I think you are very brave. Please know that things will get better. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

*I would also like to add that going to a councilor was extremely important in healing.

*I hope my sharing helps.

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Specializes in Acute Care, Rehab, Palliative.

Hang in there Jess.I have been where you are.It has been 6 years and it does get better.You did nothing to deserve what happened.

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You must find a way to not let your horrible past define who you are.

I am speaking from experience with having a "bad" history, it is so easy to call yourself a victim and seek sympathy from everyone around you. I used to do it. If you are ever going to live a decent life you have to realize that you are not just a vicitm, you are YOU, a person who went through a horrible experience, and now you have to move past that and become you again.

I am sorry but your post is nothing more than attention seeking, I am not saying you are a bad person for doing so, but for your sake you must learn to fulfill yourself in a more constructive way.

Definately see a therpaist.

While it is true that no one should let abuse define them, the ability to get past that kind of identification is the result of a fair amount of healing. You, by your account, have gotten to that point. Please don't judge Jess if she is behind you on the path.

When you say that her post is nothing more than attention-seeking, I have to wonder if you would view someone coming into an ED with chest pains the same way. Of course, they are seeking attention. They're smart enough to know they can't handle the current situation on their own and the first step of getting help is to ask for it. Some would see that as attention-seeking, I suppose. But short of crawling off into the corner to lick her own wounds, what else should she do?

I think the reason so many posters took you to task is that you came off as judgmental of a person who reached out in a tough situation. Her post didn't strike me as whining or manipulative. She just asked for some information.

Another factor is that it seemed like you were asking her to behave as though she were already healed without giving due consideration to the fact that she may still be struggling.

If you want to offer something constructive, maybe you could share some ideas for shifting one's identity as a victim to something stronger and more dynamic. How did you rediscover yourself? How did you get past looking over your shoulder and turn your focus forward again?

Ultimately, I think you meant well, but please be careful when addressing someone who is clearly vulnerable, as you once were.

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Specializes in Med/Surg.
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I am sorry you feel that way. i hope you never have to be put into this situation.

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as someone who was in this type of situation may i repeat the advise given by others ... DON'T GET BACK INTO THE SAME SITUATION

looking back on it i still don't understand why i went back again and again

God bless my long suffering parents who could only watch their only dtr lead a self destructive life

but to the op question this should not effect your future employment one wa or the other

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