Does your SO understand job stress?

Nurses General Nursing

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Hi all,

Do your significant others understand the stress that comes with being an RN? I'm an RN on dayshift working in a very busy med-surg unit. I typically don't get to use the bathroom until after 1pm, rarely get the chance to take a lunch and usually have five acute care patients. I LOVE my job! My issue is that I don't feel my SO understands the physical or emotional strains my job puts on me. He is constantly pushing me to work extra shifts and while the extra cash is great I'm left spending any time off sleeping all day. I do not get to enjoy any days off because I'm literally so tired I go from my bed to the couch. I'm not sure how to get him to understand that my quality of life is more important than money. Does anyone else experience this??

Specializes in Peds Medical Floor.
Nope! My husband doesn't understand why I am tired at the end of the day. "You only work 3 days a week" is his favorite line. He is always asking me to pick up extra shifts. He unfortunately will never understand since he can't come to work with me. Oh well, I have my fellow nurses that get it and will let me vent.
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Specializes in Critical Care.

No my husband doesn't, in the same way I don't understand the stress of his job, a financial analyst.

He understood the gravity of the experience the first time I had my very own pt code and not make it.....he has sympathy, not empathy, I believe.

What he doesn't understand is how someone who only works 3 or 4 days a week can be so tired lol he hates that I work every other weekend ... He thinks there should be weekend shifters....which is not the worst idea:-)

My husband is my reality check and always my cheerleader.

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Uh yeah...... so glad I do not deal with this. last thing I want is a guilt trip from a s.o. about not picking up more ot...... no..... so mamy of my coworkers seem to deal with this and work themselves like crazy for someome who barely has a job himself........ nurse or doctor s.o who deals with inpatients would understand!

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Bless him, he does. In part it's because he was in business for many years and understands what i have to do to keep mine afloat. He's retired, but he also understands what it means to be the breadwinner, as I am now.

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Specializes in Emergency.

Yeah, my husband gets it, but he didn't always. When we were first married he was obsessed with me picking up and making more money. He didn't understand why I was so beat when I wasn't even working full time. As a new nurse I had a hard time explaining it, and as a new wife I had a hard time getting real with him and causing a conflict. That changed somewhere in the last 6 years. He knows exactly what I do, and he is very sympathetic. I don't think he has actually even mentioned picking up a shift in the last 4 years.

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Specializes in Long term care.

I worked in a really small LTC care center as an LPN. We all know that does not mean not busy. I was able to bring my hubby to work for a shift once. He got to see me be all charge nurse and professional.. ;). He has not once since that God awful night complained. I think he saw me fly by the desk a few times and that was it. We got home and he even let me pee first! I don't think they understand the difference between their wives (or husbands, partners, etc) and the NURSE. He told me at the end of it I was a completely different person at work, but he loved me and appreciated me a lot more. Thank God for my husband. :)

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Hi all,

Do your significant others understand the stress that comes with being an RN? I'm an RN on dayshift working in a very busy med-surg unit. I typically don't get to use the bathroom until after 1pm, rarely get the chance to take a lunch and usually have five acute care patients. I LOVE my job! My issue is that I don't feel my SO understands the physical or emotional strains my job puts on me. He is constantly pushing me to work extra shifts and while the extra cash is great I'm left spending any time off sleeping all day. I do not get to enjoy any days off because I'm literally so tired I go from my bed to the couch. I'm not sure how to get him to understand that my quality of life is more important than money. Does anyone else experience this??

My spouse doesn't get it but that's OK... I don't get the stress that she faces by daily working with 14-18 year old high school kids.

I guess I push myself much harder than she could ever push me; if anything, I work more OT than she'd care for but she's happy with the financial results.

One observation: If you're coming on at 0700 and not taking a whiz until 1300, you're not making yourself a sufficiently high priority. You should categorically refuse to deny your basic physical needs while working - it's not healthy physically or emotionally.

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Specializes in ICU, CM, Geriatrics, Management.

Great story, Future!

Thanks for sharing.

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Specializes in Cardiology, Cardiothoracic Surgical.

Fortunately, yes, he did seem to get it during the first semester of nursing school. I was out of the door by 05:15 on clinical days, and wouldn't get home until sometimes after 10 p.m. from work. Not counting all the paperwork, studying and crap on top of that.

I pushed chores and other household stuff like finding dinner onto him, as he did not escape the commitment of school.

Same will go when I start work.

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Not only does my SO not understand how hard nurses work, he has the most ASININE opinions about nursing. For instance, he believes there should be no hospice. He doesn't believe in "wasting" all that time, money, and energy on people who are "choosing to die". If people choose to discontinue treatment, then they should be left to go home and die without the benefit of the care, comfort, and PAIN RELIEF that hospice provides. I argued the necessity of hospice until I was blue in the face, and he wouldn't budge. He also believes that when in the hospital or LTC nurses should do everything for a patient, including washing and wiping butts on patients who are perfectly capable of doing it themselves. His reasoning? "Well, they're paying all that money for it, and its a nurses job". In his opinion, encouraging patients to be as independent as possible is NEGLECT. I was pretty much pulling my hair out as I tried to explain that it wasn't healthy to do all those things for a patient who is capable of doing it themselves, that for their health they need to be as independent as possible. Still no budging. Obviously I'm not going to leave a patient sitting around in their own BM, but if they can get up and go to the bathroom I am not going to be bringing them a bedpan just so they don't have to get up!! It's gotten to the point where I can't even have a conversation with the man without wanting to beat him over the head with a frying pan. Allnurses.com is the only thing keeping me sane!

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Specializes in Emergency/Cath Lab.

Wifey is a nurse. She gets it thank god.

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Specializes in ICU.

Mine didn't at all. We are divorced now.

Not because of that but I do actually think it contributed

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