Does your SO understand job stress?

Nurses General Nursing

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Hi all,

Do your significant others understand the stress that comes with being an RN? I'm an RN on dayshift working in a very busy med-surg unit. I typically don't get to use the bathroom until after 1pm, rarely get the chance to take a lunch and usually have five acute care patients. I LOVE my job! My issue is that I don't feel my SO understands the physical or emotional strains my job puts on me. He is constantly pushing me to work extra shifts and while the extra cash is great I'm left spending any time off sleeping all day. I do not get to enjoy any days off because I'm literally so tired I go from my bed to the couch. I'm not sure how to get him to understand that my quality of life is more important than money. Does anyone else experience this??

Specializes in ICU.
Not only does my SO not understand how hard nurses work, he has the most ASININE opinions about nursing. For instance, he believes there should be no hospice. He doesn't believe in "wasting" all that time, money, and energy on people who are "choosing to die". If people choose to discontinue treatment, then they should be left to go home and die without the benefit of the care, comfort, and PAIN RELIEF that hospice provides. I argued the necessity of hospice until I was blue in the face, and he wouldn't budge. He also believes that when in the hospital or LTC nurses should do everything for a patient, including washing and wiping butts on patients who are perfectly capable of doing it themselves. His reasoning? "Well, they're paying all that money for it, and its a nurses job". In his opinion, encouraging patients to be as independent as possible is NEGLECT. I was pretty much pulling my hair out as I tried to explain that it wasn't healthy to do all those things for a patient who is capable of doing it themselves, that for their health they need to be as independent as possible. Still no budging. Obviously I'm not going to leave a patient sitting around in their own BM, but if they can get up and go to the bathroom I am not going to be bringing them a bedpan just so they don't have to get up!! It's gotten to the point where I can't even have a conversation with the man without wanting to beat him over the head with a frying pan. Allnurses.com is the only thing keeping me sane!

No offense, but how do you even deal with someone who has this mentality?!?

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Specializes in Dialysis.

No my husband doesnt get it, he is a cook. When I get home late, say shift was over at 3 but don't get off until 4. He is always like "well you were supposed to be off an hour ago you should have just left."

Yeah ok... I have tried numerous times to tell him I can't "just leave" His response is invariably "that's what I do" I tell hin you leave and someone has to wait five extra minutes for they're carnitas en salsa verde.... My responsibilities are a little bit more serious. I just shake my head and laugh

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Specializes in LTC, med/surg, hospice.

No he doesn't get it but he does listen to me vent and doesn't make dumb remarks. He has never dared to suggest I work extra.

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Yes, my SO understands job stress, and likes it when I work less. We both value our time off more than our earning potential. We could both make tons of money if we wanted to work a lot, but we choose not to.

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Specializes in Gerontology RN-BC and FNP MSN student.

Wow...I'm very blessed.My hubby listens and would rather have me home than working extra shifts. Although he would support me if I chose to work extra. I'm burnt out at times and occasionally get overwhelmed from school ,working FT and tired of not getting dinner together on work nights. I'm blessed. I thank God for my understanding supportive husband.

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Specializes in Gerontology RN-BC and FNP MSN student.
Your SO might not understand your job stress but we do. You are not alone.[/quote']

I love you guys!

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Specializes in ICU, CM, Geriatrics, Management.

What real responses!

A learning experience for sure. Thanks for sharing, everybody.

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Specializes in Hospice, ONC, Tele, Med Surg, Endo/Output.

My husband gets it but does not want anyone to complain longer than a few minutes. He feels very guilty and rushed to get a job now at 55 years old. Bear in mind, he has not worked outside of the home making money, other than his mom's social security check for 15 years. He cared for his Mom who had dementia all that time. Her dementia got severe the past two years, but before that it was a very slow progression of the disease and he could have found a paid caregiver so he could work. He spends his days on the computer trying to find a "computer job from home". He will be doing some computer reviews from home soon. They send him the equipment. He puts it together and then reviews it. I know this job won't last long, but he resists working a 9 to 5 job out of the house and doesn't want to deal with management. I resent and am jealous of my husband. I am the breadwinner. I'd like to move to another state where the cost of living is not so high; but he resists. Finally I told him, "Years ago when a woman was stuck at home and had no job, she had to go where her husband took her, wherever the job was. You will have to go where I go." Frankly, I could not just watch a person go to work day after day, work like a dog, and suffer year after year. I don't understand lazy people. I think lazy is a type of pathology. When one watches a person work and doesn't work it just reeks of "I don't care, just take care of me". Long story short. I cannot complain about my job nor mention to him that I want him working YESTERDAY without a huge fight. Frankly, if I was able bodied and lived in someone's home for free I would listen to their sad story all day, clean the house spotless, etc...

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