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enchantmentdis

enchantmentdis BSN, RN

Hospice, ONC, Tele, Med Surg, Endo/Output
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enchantmentdis is a BSN, RN and specializes in Hospice, ONC, Tele, Med Surg, Endo/Output.

Registered Nurse 17 yrs

enchantmentdis's Latest Activity

  1. As a hospice field nurse there was an 80 year old man married to a woman in her 30s. Gigantic penis. His wife was a mail order bride he proudly said. Anyway. He had a catheter fetish. Yes, he had to have an indwelling catheter or he or his wife could do intermittent caths. He prefered an indwelling. Well, holy fruck, this guy called every single freaking day asking for his cath to be changed. I had to do this 3 times. I hated it because he would moan in ectasy and his eyes would roll up in his head during the procedure. I really coudn't stand this patient for this. And every time any nurse went to the home his cath was patent with no leakage. Another hospice pt: a 60 yr old female blowhard. Wanted a catheter. I inserted one. Got a call--"my catheter felt great first few days, i was having orgasms all day. What is up. I want it changed." After describing the situation to management i had to change my panties from laughing so hard. I called pt. She said urine was flowing, no leakage. She was ticked off that i coudn't drive 40 miles to change it so she could climax. Later, some poor male nurse got talked into changing her cath. He was so embarrased when he described her writhing as he "put it in." She then asked for him whenever there was catheter trouble. I was praying that she would refuse my visits and ask for a different RNCM. Later she asked if it was okay to have sex with her boyfriend with her catheter. I told her it was an activity that could lead to infection, dislodgement, etc. Next visit she told me, "we did it, and it felt grrrrreat!!!"
  2. The hospice pt's daughter's house was dusty, cluttered, dishes in the sink, and musty sheets, stained rugs: she refused our hospital bed when i coudn't get the DME company to provide a brand new one. I had to explain that all equipment is refurbished. She asked why they don't just buy brand new ones all the time. I explained that they they make great money in this business because they aren't stupid. She was from a Latin American country and had a bit of a problem speaking English, but i could tell from the look on her face that she understood my insult. Brand new bed for a filthy house---nope!
  3. enchantmentdis

    I saw another nurse assault a patient

    You are a mandated reporter. Period.
  4. enchantmentdis

    Hospice Admissions nurse

    Be prepared to be in constant contact with your Service Center and management. You will have an admission that you will be driving to then you will be re-routed somewhere else because the one you were on your way to fell through. Be prepared to be a detective because the doctor's office or facility will send incomplete information for your to decide if the pt is appropriate for hospice. The admission's job affords very little control over your day. If you don't mind being wrenched from one task to another and having constant contact with management, then go for it. Marketers also like to give out their work numbers to their contacts, "Oh, just call any time you are ready, 24/7.", so just when you are on your way home after a grueling, mind-numbing day, full of drama, and driving until you are dead, the marketer will call or send out an email that the family is wanting an admission asap. I do RNCM because I do not like having someone control my day; however, halfway through my day I'm often called to do an eval/admit. I absolutely hate this. It is a lot of overtime, and just too much drama, which is why I try to see 5 to 6 pts per day, so I won't be tossed an admit. Each day is fraught with worry about getting an admission. I am not the only RNCM who feels this way in our office. ALL of our case managers are currently depressed and sick calls are frequent.
  5. enchantmentdis

    This isn't the hospice I used to know

    I have families tell me right up front, "She's not dying. We want diapers and meds. When she's gone can we keep the meds?"
  6. enchantmentdis

    Vent about toiletting patients

    Actually, those "few" lazy CNAs are why you are doing lots of answering the call lights and toileting pts. Management needs to re-place the "few" lazy CNAs. I do not miss acute care for this reason.
  7. enchantmentdis

    I want to throat-punch my co-worker

    I'm just glad I do hospice and don't have to watch annoying co-workers act passive-aggressively all day. So glad to be done with acute care--10 years away, oh happy day!
  8. enchantmentdis

    I want to throat-punch my co-worker

    Yeah. Saw movie a bazillion times. You identify with her then? Hmmmmm. Don't want to tick you off then. Just kidding.
  9. enchantmentdis

    why do many MAs and CNAs call themselves nurses?

    Because you haven't blocked them yet.
  10. enchantmentdis

    why do many MAs and CNAs call themselves nurses?

    Actually, people like this CNA, I do as follows: I mention to them to consider the LVN or RN program. To that I have heard over and over, each time I ask a CNA to do this, "No way; way too much responsibility. You guys are responsible for EVERYTHING and are treated badly." But, I "guess it's how you carry yourself." So glad I don't have to put up with their flippant attitudes in acute care anymore. It's been 10 glorious years since I left acute care. Hospice HHAs are awesome; they get their work done and move on to the next patient; no time to sit on their butts watching the nurses bust their butts, like the hospital aides.
  11. enchantmentdis

    What keeps you going as a nurse?

    I stay because I have a 19 year old daughter in college. I stayed in a career I've disliked and tried to make work since 1994 for my child's sake. It's stable employment, being an RN. Yes, the money is good; however, money isn't everything. it's 14 long years to go before retirement...I will then downsize so I can enjoy traveling and hobbies. Later, maybe move to Portugal, Spain, or Italy to provide nursing care in villages. Would love to live near a monastery or convent; would love to live in one for a reasonable rent, ride a bike to patient's homes just like on the PBS show, "Call the Midwife."
  12. I like hospice case management because I am alone practically all day; driving to/from pt's homes and facilities. If a patient's condition changes I text the doctor for the orders I need. It's great. I do have to go to meetings and IDT, but I can send the LVN to prn visits--actually I have the secretary decide who will do the prn visit, if I can't go. I usually need no one's help, and I prefer it this way. The only drama involved is with the pt and the family.
  13. enchantmentdis

    Mispronunciations that drive you nuts

    We're having ground rounds in 10 mins. Where is my neurolologist? Can I have some ice crisps? Abdominal gurth.
  14. enchantmentdis

    Mispronunciations that drive you nuts

    Sugar for diabetes----ugh, I hate that one.
  15. enchantmentdis

    Mispronunciations that drive you nuts

    Phenobarbritol.
  16. enchantmentdis

    Mispronunciations that drive you nuts

    What happened to the electercity?