Be honest--do you ever the patients you take care of, even just a little bit?
It probably sounds wrong, but I often do envy the patients I take care of. Ultimately, they get to choose their schedule their way. If they want to sleep in, they can. If they want to stay up all night, that's their choice, too. They don't have to wake up to any responsibilities. They can sit around and watch TV all day, read, color, or pretty much whatever they like. They're able to order around staff members and can get upset when things aren't just the way they want, and get away with it. However, if I were to start demanding things from others...well, you can guess how well that would go. I wish I could have a call light to press every time I needed every single little thing. One patient stays in bed all day and all night, except when she goes to the bathroom; as someone who loves to sleep, I would totally love to have that life. Instead, I get to work two jobs and some nights get barely 5 hours of sleep while they do basically nothing all day and have all the time in the world to sleep.
Is there any way to speed up my life so I can finally reach the age where I get to sleep all day, lol?
Nope. I'm a Post partum nurse and coming to work is birth control for me. Don't wanna go through labor ever again and definitely don't miss the baby stage. So no envy at all!
No. And I say that pretty loudly. As someone who just did a 2.5 week stint in an ICU bed and another 2 weeks in the floor after 2 surgeries and having overwhelming sepsis, you've got to be kidding. Sure, laying in bed for a month sounds fabulous, but being on the other side of the bed sucks.
Okay, after thinking about this post a little bit, I think I can see where OP is coming from. Not so much in the lay-in-bed-all-day way, but in the sense of, gosh, I wish someone would take care of ME. Not gonna lie, I would immensely enjoy being waited on hand and foot for a little while, not because I can't take care of myself, but just to be the priority to someone else instead of me always prioritizing others. But decidedly not for long, that would get old fast.
I work with elderly patients so they are chronically ill, not generally acutely ill. However, my perspective usually does change after awhile away from work. It's almost like I'm a very healthy person, at least physically, but don't necessarily have the "benefits" of being healthy because I'm constantly at work. If I had time, I could enjoy myself, but I'm always scheduled for one shift or another. I basically work 29-30 out of 30 or 31 days of the month.
Something is not just adding up! She works 29-30 days out of 30 or 31 days. Probable but very improbable!
I'm actually trying to do the math here to calculate her hours. But I can't!
I'd say, this can only be possible if one works on some Royal Caribbean Cruise or if they are out on the sea.
Or unless she works like 2 hours on each facility or hospital. But still! lol.
I have the feeling looking at op's threads that she may work in a posh retirement home of sorts that have nurses on staff to help on a as need basis. Therefore not a real LTC. I think that would make a lot more sense looking at her posts through those lenses. Of course I am not, in any uncertain terms diminishing nurses in those roles, I just believe that the sort of 'skills' and 'reputation' aka image (which she needs to completely get over) makes more sense when looking at her admittedly worrisome posts.
So I would funnily enough agree that yes I would like to live in a retirement home with staff to help if needed and have the freedom to stay in bed if I wanted. But I also recognise that I would have to of worked many years and saved to reach that point: in other words I would have earned it.
Years ago when I still had young children, I worked the night shift on a busy telemetry unit. I had to drive one hour each way to get to work. Got home in the mornings to send kids off to school, try to sleep in the daytime, housework, cook, kid's school stuff, etc etc. I was so sleep deprived. That was before 12 hr shift were common, so I had to work 8 hr shifts, meaning I worked 5 nights per week at a minimum. I never had time for myself or for sleep. I must admit I did indeed envy my sleeping patients then.
I think that people kind of misunderstood the OP. I am surprised at the harsh negativity of the replies. I don't envy my patients for their illnesses or pain or anything, but starting a morning shift looking at my patients in their warm beds.. damn yeah I wish I was them for the moment. Also, the OP was referring to a rest home, for some people.. the thought of being retired is just amazing and really comforting. I used to LOVE giving the residents a shower and putting them in a warm bed, but i'd be lying if I said I didn't consider wanting to be in that position. Also... there was a particular placement I had, I envied the patient, she was getting help for something I so desperately wanted help for...
For a bunch of nurses there were some disheartening levels of judgement in those replies...
I think that people kind of misunderstood the OP. I am surprised at the harsh negativity of the replies. I don't envy my patients for their illnesses or pain or anything, but starting a morning shift looking at my patients in their warm beds.. damn yeah I wish I was them for the moment. Also, the OP was referring to a rest home, for some people.. the thought of being retired is just amazing and really comforting. I used to LOVE giving the residents a shower and putting them in a warm bed, but i'd be lying if I said I didn't consider wanting to be in that position. Also... there was a particular placement I had, I envied the patient, she was getting help for something I so desperately wanted help for...
For a bunch of nurses there were some disheartening levels of judgement in those replies...
Oh please. I'm always amazed that people are happy to shame other people for their judgement. Aren't you essentially doing the same thing?
People were upset over the OP because of the way she described her patients and the language she used, not necessarily the sentiment behind it. And any of us are allowed to have whatever response we need to - especially those that ARE actually sick. The way she described people with medical issues was pretty offensive and degrading. But yes, let's have sympathy for the person who posted them, and dismiss the feelings of the people the words were actually about.
I'm sorry. This really bothers me. Probably more than it should, but I live with enough guilt over not being the mom/wife/friend/sister that I wish to be because of my brain. I don't need to feel more guilt because someone who is unhappy with their life dismisses any real issues I face in favor of being envious of my days in bed.
And yes, I'm taking this personally. Because unfortunately it IS personal.
Now I'm going to hair flip out of this thread, because I can't read anymore of this.
What I don't like is when our membership indulges in a feeding frenzy when someone, like the OP, posts awkwardly, or uses an unpopular choice of words.
She has been very nice about the whole thing, but I've seen some of that mob mentality come out in this thread. I've seen it worse in other threads. One person after another jumps on board, joining in the criticism of the poster.
I don't think this poster meant anything to disparage the sick and suffering. She was just sharing her desire to be nurtured, as she nurtures her patients. I think it's ridiculous to get so offended.
And we've all had people in our lives who suffered and died. I remember when my husband was dying in the hospital. He was a gentleman to the end. How we behave in those circumstances is a testimony to our true character.
Oh please. I'm always amazed that people are happy to shame other people for their judgement. Aren't you essentially doing the same thing?
People were upset over the OP because of the way she described her patients and the language she used, not necessarily the sentiment behind it. And any of us are allowed to have whatever response we need to - especially those that ARE actually sick. The way she described people with medical issues was pretty offensive and degrading. But yes, let's have sympathy for the person who posted them, and dismiss the feelings of the people the words were actually about.
I'm sorry. This really bothers me. Probably more than it should, but I live with enough guilt over not being the mom/wife/friend/sister that I wish to be because of my brain. I don't need to feel more guilt because someone who is unhappy with their life dismisses any real issues I face in favor of being envious of my days in bed.
And yes, I'm taking this personally. Because unfortunately it IS personal.
Now I'm going to hair flip out of this thread, because I can't read anymore of this.
Excuse me "shame other people for their judgement." My comment was a respectful disagreement, without pointing fingers at one particular member. I shamed nobody, and you know that.
Secondly, this forum is for nurses, we are all nurses, we all practice self-awareness. There is NO right way to think, it's how we practice those judgements that make us professional. Nurses judge anti-vaccinators, child abusers, prisoners, medication 'users,' and that's okay. But we're aware of it, shove it aside and treat all patients respectfully. OP had a thought that she wasn't able to discuss with people she knows (for whatever reason), and so bravely brought it online. You don't have to take sides, you can have compassion for her patients, but you can at least be respectful in your disagreement to OP, you don't have to have sympathy or compassion.
Lastly, I see this is personal for you. And I can't argue your life experiences. But you also cannot argue the experiences of the OP. You have no idea what she suffers with, or has had in the past. It's a shame that you are SO angered by an innocent forum on the internet, I hope that you practice using some sort of relaxation technique when you're working with a patient who comes out with something offensive.
Excuse me "shame other people for their judgement." My comment was a respectful disagreement, without pointing fingers at one particular member. I shamed nobody, and you know that.
Secondly, this forum is for nurses, we are all nurses, we all practice self-awareness. There is NO right way to think, it's how we practice those judgements that make us professional. Nurses judge anti-vaccinators, child abusers, prisoners, medication 'users,' and that's okay. But we're aware of it, shove it aside and treat all patients respectfully. OP had a thought that she wasn't able to discuss with people she knows (for whatever reason), and so bravely brought it online. You don't have to take sides, you can have compassion for her patients, but you can at least be respectful in your disagreement to OP, you don't have to have sympathy or compassion.
Lastly, I see this is personal for you. And I can't argue your life experiences. But you also cannot argue the experiences of the OP. You have no idea what she suffers with, or has had in the past. It's a shame that you are SO angered by an innocent forum on the internet, I hope that you practice using some sort of relaxation technique when you're working with a patient who comes out with something offensive.
You've done a lot of tap dancing in order to get all of that out of the OP's post. What she said made no sense, no matter what angle you look at it. There's nothing to envy about being unwell. Period.
Oh please. I'm always amazed that people are happy to shame other people for their judgement. Aren't you essentially doing the same thing?
People were upset over the OP because of the way she described her patients and the language she used, not necessarily the sentiment behind it. And any of us are allowed to have whatever response we need to - especially those that ARE actually sick. The way she described people with medical issues was pretty offensive and degrading. But yes, let's have sympathy for the person who posted them, and dismiss the feelings of the people the words were actually about.
I'm sorry. This really bothers me. Probably more than it should, but I live with enough guilt over not being the mom/wife/friend/sister that I wish to be because of my brain. I don't need to feel more guilt because someone who is unhappy with their life dismisses any real issues I face in favor of being envious of my days in bed.
And yes, I'm taking this personally. Because unfortunately it IS personal.
Now I'm going to hair flip out of this thread, because I can't read anymore of this.
I've seen you post here and I've always liked you. From your posts it's clear that you're extremely smart and have a good head on your shoulders.
With that being said, in reference to the bolded, I think that we should have the capacity to have both compassion and understanding for the person who posted them and also be sensitive to the feelings of the people that the words were about. We should be careful not to set up some kind of false dichotomy where we can have understanding and compassion for only one or the other. Where either the OP is justified in her feelings and to hell with the people she was talking about, or the OP is completely wrong in what she said and we must be offended for those that she made comments about. We should be able to see it from both sides, I think. Take into consideration her personal struggles and that she probably posted in the heat of the moment, before we let ourselves take it personally.
You said yourself, people weren't necessarily upset about the sentiment behind her words, but the language she used. She apologized for that, and it didn't seem like they were an accurate representation of the sentiment behind them.
Ultimately, though, you do you. That's just my thoughts on the subject. I, myself, have struggled with a congenital and chronic issue that had a huge impact on my childhood. It's hard to read someone be so flippant about thinks like wellness, but in the end the OP doesn't have enough insight to deserve my outrage. Only my compassion, since she doesn't know what she means.
BSNbeauty, BSN, RN
1,939 Posts
Nope. I'm a Post partum nurse and coming to work is birth control for me. Don't wanna go through labor ever again and definitely don't miss the baby stage. So no envy at all!