Do pt families every drive you crazy?

Nurses Relations

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Specializes in LTC.

ugh I have a pt that the one family member always has something to say about something. nothing is ever good enough. the pt has osteomyelitis and has been to wound care and was discharged, and was also on 6+ weeks of vanco IV. Well wound care discharged the pt after they where satisfied with the skin growth over the wound. Well this particular family member went to almost all the wound care appts and bugged the crap out of the wound care MD and his nurses about every little thing to the point he was writing stupid orders just to make them happy. Well the pt has an order for gauze to be woven between the toes and to have double socks to "protect the toe".

the day after the pt stopped the IV a blackened area developed on the toe near the wound the I notified the MD and the MD said that it was because of the osteomyelitis and gave no new orders but just to do the dressing from the wound care MD.

this family member comes in today and starts ranting and raving about how the wound was bleeding "everywhere" in reality it was a very light smudge most likely caused by all the extra pressure and friction of double socks and gauze. This family member then proceeds to tell me that they think its not being done like its suppose to be and without saying it that its my fault. I have jumped through hoops with this family member and its never enough, if you don't like me fine but geez its not my fault your parent has an infection that will NEVER go away. ugh this person makes me want to tear my hair out!

so to make her happy we are sending the pt back to wound care and making the dressing BID. I tried explaining what osteomyelitis is and what it does all I get is "I know I went to the wound care appts so I know everything that's going on", grrrr.... *bang head on desk*

There was no explaining anything to this person everything I tried to say she would question and would keep saying the same thing over and over and over. Another nurse had to step in and stop the conversation (thank god), the family member was even talking about going to my unit manager (who is new and knows next to nothing about the pts on the unit) but then would say that they not here to get anyone in trouble but cant understand why it takes for when they (she) to come in for something to be done.

I just want to look at this person sometimes and go well the POA seems to be happy with the way we are taking care of the pt, haven't heard any complaints from them and they are here more then you.

Ok that's my rant, deep breath, and Smile. :)

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Patient families drive me crazy all the time; it is the nature of nursing since we can't avoid them unless we go back to hospital visitation 3 times at week from 2-4pm. (I never worked during those days, but from what nursing history I know, hospital visiting hours were once very limited.)

What I have learned, that what drives the most difficult families is not logic, it is a tangled knot of emotion. Guilt, fear, hope, anger, grief, and every emotional combination is what they express. So, I don't always expect the logical explanation of the plan for the day to be enough for families like you describe.

I have learned to write many a temporary "fools pass" for families like these.

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Specializes in Orthopedic, LTC, STR, Med-Surg, Tele.

Oh yes... I've had lots of family members who just drive me nuts. The above poster said it perfectly... most of those hovering family members are driven by guilt, fear, grief, and so on. It's also worth mentioning control... if they pitch a fit so that Mama's toe is bandaged just right, that's a small battle they've won. I try to keep that in mind when I deal with those types of people - luckily the ones I have dealt with are well-intentioned and want the best care for their loved one... and show it by hovering and hang-wringing.

http://whatshouldwecallnursing.tumblr.com/post/22612369289/when-my-patient-coughs

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Specializes in Pain, critical care, administration, med.

There are many families like you describe. It's hard to be right when they received their medical education on Google!

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Oh yes... I can go on and on and on. Sometimes I LOVE the patient and just hate the downright mean families. I really wish hospital hours were limited sometimes. I think it would help in providing better patient care. Having to explain (aka defend) myself with some of these families takes up SOO much time. Or because someone is in a hospital everything is an emergency... "but their left foot is itchy, usually its the right" "she has something in her eye" "I heard her cough" "SHE HAS A NOSEBLEED" What do these people do at home when this stuff happens?????

Some of my patients can't even stand their family and apologize for them.... :p

I just try to think of all the lovely families and patients... :inlove:

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Specializes in Case mgmt., rehab, (CRRN), LTC & psych.

I cannot stand families and visitors. I wish healthcare facilities could go back to the old days when visitation was restricted to a few hours each day. Now that would be heaven on earth!

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Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.
I cannot stand families and visitors. I wish healthcare facilities could go back to the old days when visitation was restricted to a few hours each day. Now that would be heaven on earth!

DITTO!!!!

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The above poster said it perfectly... most of those hovering family members are driven by guilt, fear, grief, and so on.

I so agree. 9 out of 10 times it is guilt, fear or something like that. Then there is that 1% who are just mean and that is just who they are.

I work psych now so we do have visiting hours and gosh I wish families were there more often as the patient is usually on their best behavior or more upbeat during and after the visit.

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Specializes in retired LTC.
There are many families like you describe. It's hard to be right when they received their medical education on Google!
It used to be that they got their degrees from the National Enquirer :roflmao:

Just remember that empty barrels make the most noise and it's the ones with the biggest case of the GUILTIES that are the worst!

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I work psych and we have limited visiting hours.

Thank goodness!

As you can imagine, the families can be even more psychotic than our pts!

And don't you know, that the heaviest, most difficult and most combative pt to transfer always has the family that shows up-- and within minutes-- will demand that the pt has to pee... never mind we just tore our backs out and got the snot beat out of us taking the pt to the toilet just mere minutes ago!

Can someone please explain this fixation families have with "Mom's" bladder?

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Specializes in Med/Surg, Academics.

Some of my patients can't even stand their family and apologize for them.:

Ha! I had one patient complain to me about his niece who was always riding my butt about one thing or another. I told him that if he really wanted her to leave, I could make up something and be the "bad guy" on his behalf. He declined, but exclaimed, " Thank god she's gone!" After she left each day.

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I hate myself for letting "them" get to me. I can tolerate a rude, angry, patient like water to a duck, (up to a point.). I sometimes go above and beyond to give them extra time and care. Yet when there is an annoying crazy family member I will spend as little time with the patient as I can get away with.

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