Hi all! I'm a new grad on a MS floor (just off orientation). I always heard about the "nurses eat their young" thing in school and thought it was silly, but now I'm beginning to wonder....
First of all, I'm 29 and have worked in plenty of other environments, and never expereinced what I have at this hospital. My first day on the unit, not one person acknowledged me until the NM came in and forced them to deal with me (my preceptor had not shown up my first day...can you believe it?).
I'm tired of hearing nurses on this unit (even some of the newer ones) complain about the other new grads, and the nursing students who rotate on our floor. I can't imagine being so mean, and I KNOW they're talking about me! In fact, I've walked into the med room and it has been so obvious that they ARE talking about me (you can see the guilt).
Maybe I'm paranoid, but I feel like since I've been off orientation I've been given the "heaviest" patients on the floor. Inevitably, I'll be given the one patient with end stage renal disease and end stage AIDS dementia with a GT and Cdiff, along with two other full care patients and two really emotionally needy patients who keep me in their room all day while patient number one is vomiting up her tube feeds and pulling out her TLC.
So, all these nurses say to my face "let me know if you need help", but it's obvious that once I've exceeded what they consider to be a reasonable number of questions that they're irritated. Meanwhile, I'm running around like a madwoman and they're sitting at the nurses station gossiping about some other nurse who is off that day. Right now I'm only taking 5 patients because I don't feel like I'm ready for 6, but already they've been asking me "so when do you think you can take 6 patients?"
Is the way I'm feeling normal? I feel paranoid or something...How should I deal with this situation??????
I guess I'm lucky...Any preceptors or nurses I've worked with have been great and really helpful...except the occasional jerk...but I found these people also tended to be jerks in life to just in general...your situation sounds crappy I hope you can find away with dealing with it because you sound like a good nurse and we need good nurses...just don't let this drive you away from the profession all together not all nurses are like these turdburgers.
Some units, floors, and even whole facilities are toxic. My advice to you is to pick your battles. Do you like your job there enough to fight for it and endure such behavior? Sometimes standing up to bullies can be dangerous professionally. Many managers are burnt out and just want warm bodies to staff their units--they care little about interpersonal relationships and don't want anyone rocking the boat or making waves. So, think carefully about what your actions may mean and the possible repercussions. Yes, choose your battles carefully. Thankfully, nursing jobs are now plentiful (at least in most parts of the country). It might be best to give a decent notice and to leave quietly.
And yes, as a nursing instructor, I try to instill a different culture in my ADN students. I emphasize teamwork, especially in the clinical arena, and give extra competency points to students who display concern for their fellow students and have a good teamwork attitude. I discourage competition, gossip, and backbiting. I always try to display respect and empathy for my students. We have had mostly good experiences on the clinical floors and units with the staff nurses. However, one facility will stand out forever in my mind (it has become the metaphor for everything unethical and unprofessional in nursing at our school, among our faculty and students). At this notorious facility, we had floor nurses lie about our students, yell and curse our students, try to destroy the clinical instructors professionally, and one nurse even slapped one of our students!!!! :uhoh21: But, I am digressing here...
Just want to say that we need you in nursing, Jayla. And it is all about the patients. Take care and come here often to vent or to seek advice. Please keep us informed as to how you are doing.
Couldn't agree more Vicky...and thank you for setting a good example for our student nurses...I hope they appreciate you. :) I was fortunate to have good instructors but from what I read on this BB others were not so lucky. Sad when our students start out with negativity and gossipy vindictivenes in school.
Couldn't agree more Vicky...and thank you for setting a good example for our student nurses...I hope they appreciate you. :) I was fortunate to have good instructors but from what I read on this BB others were not so lucky. Sad when our students start out with negativity and gossipy vindictivenes in school.
I agree. I was going to say something similar. The "nurses eating their young" concept starts when the students start eating each other and their instructors. Some of the people I went to school with were absolutely brutal.
To the original poster: Good luck. I'm sorry it's like this. Hopefully, you can set the positive example, if you choose to stay.
NO do not keep your mouth shut. Please, confront those who are bothering you most, directly and privately. Tell them in no uncertain terms you will not be mistreated in anyway. You respect their experience and knowledge but that never gives them license to abuse you. You also may need to get a couple good books on assertiveness or attend a seminar.
If failing the direct and honest approach and they still abuse you, you DO go to your manager and tell him/her what is going on and demand it be stopped. Tell the manager you have taken the issue up with the concerned parties already and nothing is changed, that way he/she knows you at least tried to solve the problem yourself. No one has to put up with a hostile work environment. Document what is said and what is done about it. You never have to take others' abuse of you. Put a stop to it NOW cause they will just keep getting worse.
Also learn about bullying and what you can do about it (bullies attack you verbally more often than physically, after all, and they are all over):
Hi all! I'm a new grad on a MS floor (just off orientation). I always heard about the "nurses eat their young" thing in school and thought it was silly, but now I'm beginning to wonder....
First of all, I'm 29 and have worked in plenty of other environments, and never expereinced what I have at this hospital. My first day on the unit, not one person acknowledged me until the NM came in and forced them to deal with me (my preceptor had not shown up my first day...can you believe it?).
I'm tired of hearing nurses on this unit (even some of the newer ones) complain about the other new grads, and the nursing students who rotate on our floor. I can't imagine being so mean, and I KNOW they're talking about me! In fact, I've walked into the med room and it has been so obvious that they ARE talking about me (you can see the guilt).
Maybe I'm paranoid, but I feel like since I've been off orientation I've been given the "heaviest" patients on the floor. Inevitably, I'll be given the one patient with end stage renal disease and end stage AIDS dementia with a GT and Cdiff, along with two other full care patients and two really emotionally needy patients who keep me in their room all day while patient number one is vomiting up her tube feeds and pulling out her TLC.
So, all these nurses say to my face "let me know if you need help", but it's obvious that once I've exceeded what they consider to be a reasonable number of questions that they're irritated. Meanwhile, I'm running around like a madwoman and they're sitting at the nurses station gossiping about some other nurse who is off that day. Right now I'm only taking 5 patients because I don't feel like I'm ready for 6, but already they've been asking me "so when do you think you can take 6 patients?"
Is the way I'm feeling normal? I feel paranoid or something...How should I deal with this situation??????
Do "nurses eat their young"? Yes, mostly, I think they do.
How should I deal with this situation?????? Do your job, show them that you are intelligent, competent and strong, and don't let them push your buttons. I went through this as a new grad, put people in their place, gave people a little bit of their own medicine, and the treatment stopped.
I think it might be worth looking into another hospital.
All through nursing school, I was told that "nurses eat their young" as some kind of justification for all the s**t we put up with from the nurses we worked with. I was told it was a well known phenomenon and something I'd just have to accept. Not true!
I was picky about where I took my first job and I went for the place with the reputation for having the most helpful, supportive mentors. Do I still encounter the occasional bully? Of course. But unlike many of the hospitals where I did clinical, bullying and disrespect are not built into the culture where I work.
Of course, quitting should be a last resort. Just know that there are in fact good working environments out there.. and you deserve to be a part of one!
Would it be innapropriate to talk to the HR nurse who hired me to see if there is another position in the same organization? I havn't talked to my manager yet about how unhappy I am, but she hasn't approached me about meeting to discuss how things are going (even though I've been off orientation for three weeks now). I don't want to burn any bridges, but I also don't want to continue being miserable. I just don't feel there is adequate support on this unit for new grads...
Would it be innapropriate to talk to the HR nurse who hired me to see if there is another position in the same organization? I havn't talked to my manager yet about how unhappy I am, but she hasn't approached me about meeting to discuss how things are going (even though I've been off orientation for three weeks now). I don't want to burn any bridges, but I also don't want to continue being miserable. I just don't feel there is adequate support on this unit for new grads...
Thanks for all the advice, everyone!
Personally, I don't think it would be inappropriate. It's your life, you're unhappy, and you're not in a prison, but you might feel it's something bordering on prison.
I say if you're unhappy, start looking for a way out. Your patients need a well rounded nurse, including one who is happy with where she is.
I'm not sure if you should talk to HR first or the manager first.
Maybe some others have some advice on that for you, but I sure don't see anything wrong with looking for another position.
Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.
if you confront those nurses they will make your life hell. Grin and bear it.
And yes, nurses eat there young. Find a place which respects you, maybe with a mentor of some sort and stay for a while.
keeping one's mouth shut solves nothing. That is what the bully wants. And there IS no place where bullies do not work. Much smarter to learn how to deal with workplace bullies than to run away all the time.
When I was in nursing school I ran into this quite a bit. I was a little surprised when I started on my unit. It is not perfect, but we help each other out. Soemtimes I am not sure if this is the patient population that I want to work with, but I feel like I could make a big mistake leaving and ending up working with a bunch of unpleasant nurses.
I had many preceptors. I did not care for my main preceptor, but don't mind working with her now-- I just felt like she wasn't a very good preceptor.
(good nurse-- bad preceptor)
I think if it becomes intolerable, it is time to move on. There are too many othe jobs out there to waste your time on this one.
are toxic. My advice to you is to pick your battles. Do you like your job there enough to fight for it and endure such behavior? Sometimes standing up to bullies can be dangerous professionally. Many managers are burnt out and just want warm bodies to staff their units--they care little about interpersonal relationships and don't want anyone rocking the boat or making waves. So, think carefully about what your actions may mean and the possible repercussions. Yes, choose your battles carefully. Thankfully, nursing jobs are now plentiful (at least in most parts of the country). It might be best to give a decent notice and to leave quietly.
JVanRN
406 Posts
I guess I'm lucky...Any preceptors or nurses I've worked with have been great and really helpful...except the occasional jerk...but I found these people also tended to be jerks in life to just in general...your situation sounds crappy I hope you can find away with dealing with it because you sound like a good nurse and we need good nurses...just don't let this drive you away from the profession all together not all nurses are like these turdburgers.