Hi all! I'm a new grad on a MS floor (just off orientation). I always heard about the "nurses eat their young" thing in school and thought it was silly, but now I'm beginning to wonder....
First of all, I'm 29 and have worked in plenty of other environments, and never expereinced what I have at this hospital. My first day on the unit, not one person acknowledged me until the NM came in and forced them to deal with me (my preceptor had not shown up my first day...can you believe it?).
I'm tired of hearing nurses on this unit (even some of the newer ones) complain about the other new grads, and the nursing students who rotate on our floor. I can't imagine being so mean, and I KNOW they're talking about me! In fact, I've walked into the med room and it has been so obvious that they ARE talking about me (you can see the guilt).
Maybe I'm paranoid, but I feel like since I've been off orientation I've been given the "heaviest" patients on the floor. Inevitably, I'll be given the one patient with end stage renal disease and end stage AIDS dementia with a GT and Cdiff, along with two other full care patients and two really emotionally needy patients who keep me in their room all day while patient number one is vomiting up her tube feeds and pulling out her TLC.
So, all these nurses say to my face "let me know if you need help", but it's obvious that once I've exceeded what they consider to be a reasonable number of questions that they're irritated. Meanwhile, I'm running around like a madwoman and they're sitting at the nurses station gossiping about some other nurse who is off that day. Right now I'm only taking 5 patients because I don't feel like I'm ready for 6, but already they've been asking me "so when do you think you can take 6 patients?"
Is the way I'm feeling normal? I feel paranoid or something...How should I deal with this situation??????
Sorry I meant to reply to this posting and did not include it previously. From my perspective I see what I think is a large risk for this new nurse. Its great to be idealistic, but this nurse describes herself as being a newbie. You put yourself out there for the cause of speaking up and stopping what is not right you may get clobbered. This bullying may have been going on for some time. Do any of you really believe this newbie is going to stop it ? At what cost to her ?
And yes I know I am setting myself up here since my comments appear to be different than most postings on this thread.
I agree. It probably has been going on for while.
It's really hard for a new nurse to come in and start a job. Why can't people just get along, and try to make new people feel welcome, help them, show them around, accompany them to lunch, etc, why is that so HARD???
Isn't there a nursing shortage? Heck, we need all the help we can get in our workplaces.
Where I work, I have to say that we don't bully our new nurses. Our job is so hard and we have so much medication to pass, so many people to learn, so many policies and little things that come up, that our new nurses are usually orientated at LEAST a month, MORE if they think they need it. That means that if we SHOULD be scheduled with three nurses, but have 2 already seasoned nurses, and one new nurse in orientation, we continue to work like we are just a team of 2 nurses, with the new nurse going with the older nurse, UNTIL a point in time where that new nurse feels like she is able to take an assignment by herself. We will never push her out there too soon. She can take just about as long as she wants for orientation. Not 6 months, but they get a VERY good orientation at my job. We have a hard time getting nurses and when get em, we want em to stay and we will do everything we can to help ensure that. And even after our new nurses start working an assignment by themselves, they still come up with questions everyday. We must help each other. Its the only way.
Sorry this is so long. I just don't understand why some nurses have to make it so hard for our new ones coming in. It's beyond me.
Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.
I wish we could get past this blaming "older" nurses while the "younger" nurses are portrayed as the only committed. caring people on the unit.
The truth is, for every story about an evil older nurse, I could rebut with an equally awful story about an inconsiderate new nurse.
I've said this before and I'll say it again:
Some older nurses are rude, some new nurses are rude. Rudeness is not an age (or experience) specific problem.
This is an excellent post. You know the Golden Rule, well it applies to all of us, not just the "old biddies" among us. I, too, have met some young, entitled students and nurses in my work. I gently and firmly set THEM straight, too!
Back to martyrdom: no one need "martyr" oneself to teach others how to treat her. It's a matter of knowing the time and place and HOW to do it. It is a maturity thing, too, like said by Marla.
Now, it's up to the OP what she does about this. There has been excellent advice from all around. I know how hard it is for you.....
Just a personal story: I entered a unit as a relatively new nurse, FULL Of nurses who had been there "forever" and used to having their way, to the point of bullying others. Some were not really bad, so I just laughed them off and eventually they saw they could not get to me.
But when the true bullies among them turned their attentions to me, I tackled each who bothered me most one-on-one and told her I was not a punching bag for anyone. And further, there were plenty of jobs up the road; my life and finances did not depend on my working there. And as I left, I would let HR know on my outgoing interview why it was I left. I confronted each person who messed with me privately and very kindly. Privacy is key. They have a harder time messing with you when you are one-on-one. Well I will be darned; it worked. No one bothered after that. A lot of it is in technique and situation. Working there was never difficult after those few tough times.
A person who simply flees one situation to another may well be jumping from a frying pan to a fire. But that is her choice. Others have pointed it out validly: truly toxic workplaces cannot be fixed by any one nurse, especially a new one. If an entire workplace is like this, it may be worth it to cut losses and move on. Picking one's battles is smart advice! :)
But remember, look in the mirror, too. Self-esteem can be an issue. Because, the fact is, bullies hone in on targets early-on, and it will be up to the "target" to stop it, no one else can. I prefer to deal with my issues directly. Sometimes, I fail, but more often, it works out. It's up to the OP how much she wants to do .....I don't work there, so I can't say for sure what is right. I am just cautioning it's not always better "on the other side of the fence". Good luck to the OP, my heart goes out to you. You DO deserve much better!!!! Hugs!
There are some wonderful, helpful opinions here. THank you to all who've responded! Just for the record, I want to say that in my original post, there was no mention of the AGE of these nurses. I suppose the phrase "nurses eating their young" insinuates older nurses eating younger. I would like to point out that several of the nurses who have been the rudest are younger than me or my age (29). It has nothing to do with age. Maturity, yes; age, no.
Also, I believe it is important to be assertive. However, no degree of assertiveness will help in a culture defined by backstabbing, gossiping and an overall lack of TEAMWORK. This is the problem. Several nurses on the unit like to point their fingers at the nurse manager. I suppose it is a management issue. However, I also believe that people must take responsibility for their own behavior! We must work together and not against one another.
I do believe this is a toxic work environment and I'm currently looking at other options. Thank you all for the advice!
Hi all. just thought I'd put my 2 cents in...in case some of you have not read my personal story, here it is...where I work, there was a bully mentality, gossiping, people in tears because of disrespect, being given the silent treatment, peoples eyes rolling up in their heads when they spoke, not being listened to when they had suggestions or were positive. I couldn't stand it. I went to my manger and told her that I wanted to give an inservice about bullying, which I did. I gave everyone hard-copies of material I had gathered from the web, I then went back to talk to the "victims" about a month later and they felt things were better and had learned to stand up for themselves more (I had instructed them not to ignore these aggressive, or passive-agressive behaviors but to be assertive and say things like "I want u to know that when you do such and such it is unacceptable to me and I want this behavior to stop." I do notice that this is not a one time intervention, but that it has to be addressed ongoingly. I feel that I made a difference where I work. I too was a "victim" at times where I work, but totally stood up for myself and now I am treated with respect. There is still a lot of gossipping and clicks there, but I just am professional and focus on my patients and doing a good job. I really don't care anymore if I am in the "inside" of "the group." Before, when I allowed myself to be a "victim" I was new there and very concerned about "being liked, etc." Once I gave that up and gave myself the respect I deserve, it was quite easy to be assertive and get satisfaction from my job. Along with this, I give my peers respect and I communicate with them.
Through this exerience I grew up tremendously. I am no longer the "nice" girl, if you know what I mean. I guess I finally grew out of my adolescence (about time since I am 62).
Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.
I think, Jayla, you have an excellent grip on the situation. You do deserve better and no, you cannot fix a toxic environment. It is not worth the struggle and will wear you down. You sound pretty savvy to me; a better situation awaits smart, savvy nurses like yourself. Don't be afraid to seek better! I truly wish you the best.
Ive been a nurse for 12 years and changed my specialty to PICU. It has been relatively hard but when it comes to people who are trying to bring you down and making you feel less than worthy of working at the unit. Always keep your chin up and think how many other nurses endured the same brutality and they went on. I try to be extra nice and comforting to new grads but in the end ,we all get it from every end from time to time (MD, PNP, Charge, Supervisors, Ed. Department, HR...mainly co-workers). They are just jealous because they didn't have the guts to work in the unit your starting off at. In the days all GN's had to go to med/surg. You're worthy of being there and keep telling yourself that. Grin and Bear it! Then sarcastically over dramatize what they want to hear, Passive...aggressive. Best way to handle bullies. They want a show down...don't give it to them! Love the psychology of nurse precepting. Someone should write a book on how to survive with a smile on your face from GN to tenured RN.
LPN1974, LPN
879 Posts
I agree. It probably has been going on for while.
It's really hard for a new nurse to come in and start a job. Why can't people just get along, and try to make new people feel welcome, help them, show them around, accompany them to lunch, etc, why is that so HARD???
Isn't there a nursing shortage? Heck, we need all the help we can get in our workplaces.
Where I work, I have to say that we don't bully our new nurses. Our job is so hard and we have so much medication to pass, so many people to learn, so many policies and little things that come up, that our new nurses are usually orientated at LEAST a month, MORE if they think they need it. That means that if we SHOULD be scheduled with three nurses, but have 2 already seasoned nurses, and one new nurse in orientation, we continue to work like we are just a team of 2 nurses, with the new nurse going with the older nurse, UNTIL a point in time where that new nurse feels like she is able to take an assignment by herself. We will never push her out there too soon. She can take just about as long as she wants for orientation. Not 6 months, but they get a VERY good orientation at my job. We have a hard time getting nurses and when get em, we want em to stay and we will do everything we can to help ensure that. And even after our new nurses start working an assignment by themselves, they still come up with questions everyday. We must help each other. Its the only way.
Sorry this is so long. I just don't understand why some nurses have to make it so hard for our new ones coming in. It's beyond me.