Hi all! I'm a new grad on a MS floor (just off orientation). I always heard about the "nurses eat their young" thing in school and thought it was silly, but now I'm beginning to wonder....
First of all, I'm 29 and have worked in plenty of other environments, and never expereinced what I have at this hospital. My first day on the unit, not one person acknowledged me until the NM came in and forced them to deal with me (my preceptor had not shown up my first day...can you believe it?).
I'm tired of hearing nurses on this unit (even some of the newer ones) complain about the other new grads, and the nursing students who rotate on our floor. I can't imagine being so mean, and I KNOW they're talking about me! In fact, I've walked into the med room and it has been so obvious that they ARE talking about me (you can see the guilt).
Maybe I'm paranoid, but I feel like since I've been off orientation I've been given the "heaviest" patients on the floor. Inevitably, I'll be given the one patient with end stage renal disease and end stage AIDS dementia with a GT and Cdiff, along with two other full care patients and two really emotionally needy patients who keep me in their room all day while patient number one is vomiting up her tube feeds and pulling out her TLC.
So, all these nurses say to my face "let me know if you need help", but it's obvious that once I've exceeded what they consider to be a reasonable number of questions that they're irritated. Meanwhile, I'm running around like a madwoman and they're sitting at the nurses station gossiping about some other nurse who is off that day. Right now I'm only taking 5 patients because I don't feel like I'm ready for 6, but already they've been asking me "so when do you think you can take 6 patients?"
Is the way I'm feeling normal? I feel paranoid or something...How should I deal with this situation??????
keeping one's mouth shut solves nothing. That is what the bully wants. And there IS no place where bullies do not work. Much smarter to learn how to deal with workplace bullies than to run away all the time.
I humbly totally disagree with the martyrdom. Save yourself. These nurses may destroy you. In which case the saying: "nurses eat their young" will happen. Choose your battles wisely. From what you are describing it strikes me personally that you can't win.
These nurses may destroy you. In which case the saying: "nurses eat their young" will happen. Choose your battles wisely. From what you are describing it strikes me personally that you can't win.
I appreciate the honesty in this thread, I am new to this site and happend upon it to get the nitty grit as I am contemplating nursing school. I think it is a terrible shame that the new grad has to endure this. Yes there are bullies everywhere, yes there are people with bad attitudes but I think that kind of behaviour is truly revolting. Perhaps 24/7 hours and little compensation aren't the only factors contributing to the nursing shortage. I understand burnout, however it is unfathomable to me how people in a very caring profession could be so callous, conniving and unwilling to help. I would have to agree with most responses in this thread: be polite but firm, stand up for yourself but do not go to the nurse manager unless it is completely intolerable. By that time, the delporable behaviour will be witnessed by others. It seems the "seasoned" nurses may have allies further up the food chain (i.e. charge nurse, nurse mgr)...be careful and good luck.
Specializes in PICU, Nurse Educator, Clinical Research.
keeping one's mouth shut solves nothing. That is what the bully wants. And there IS no place where bullies do not work. Much smarter to learn how to deal with workplace bullies than to run away all the time.
I totally agree, smilinglbueyes. i'm about to start my last semester of an ADN program, and we've had clinicals at three different facilities and multiple units in one facility (a very large university hospital, incidentally); I've worked with co-assigned nurses that ranged from very helpful and clearly delighted to teach, to those who would complain (to my face!) about having a student with them, and belittle me at every opportunity. on labor and delivery, one of the nurses (not my co-assigned) got mad that another student and I were researching an unusual procedure we were about to observe. Mind you, there were only three patients on the whole 25-bed unit at the time, and I'd long since worn out my 'do you need any help with anything?' on the rest of the students and staff. this woman actually started calling around the floor- not only this unit- to see if there were any dirty rooms that housekeeping hadn't gotten to yet, so she could send us to mop floors! when she asked directly if I had anything to do, I calmly replied that I'd completed all of my patient care duties, helped the other students, etc., and was researching the upcoming procedure, but would be delighted if she had a learning opportunity for me. I wasn't defensive, and I was sincere...but, most importantly, I was CONFIDENT.
I think the rudeness displayed by a number of nurses like this is dumbfounding. The way to combat it is by being confident and assertive. I don't believe in waiting to bring it up to your supervisor if it's a problem NOW. And the idiotic notion (I see this in both seasoned staff and some of my fellow students) that your opinion counts less when you're inexperienced- that burns me up. we hear all this talk about the nursing shortage, then people like these nurses you work with try to blow out new grads! You'd think they'd *want* someone to come in, get trained, and take some of the load off of them. the sad fact, though, is that catty, mean *****es are in every occupational field; but their behaviour isn't questioned as much in nursing as in some other fields.
be an agent of change on this unit. the worst rationale for anything is 'we've always done it this way'. I'm guessing this is the way all new grads are treated on this unit. Well, you have the opportunity to change that abusive pattern by standing up for yourself.
my only word of caution (and I say this based on my managerial experience in my last career) is to make certain you're confident and direct when you talk to these people and/or your supervisor. if you sound like you're unsure, or they think you're whining, the behavior is going to get a hundred times worse. prove to them that it is NOT acceptable for nurses to eat their young.
good luck to you....we're all behind you in this, and you CAN do it!
Does your facility have a policy on harrassment? While it may or may not be extreme, it is still harassment. Bullying, or whatever word they use to describe it.
You have to decide for yourself at what level you are comfortable dealing with this situation. Are you comfortable confronting the people? Is your nurse manager supportive? Is there a new nurse peer support group at your facility?
Unfortunately this eat the young does not only happen to new grads. I have found it to be a common occurance for most nurses changing positions/units.
I have often wondered if it has to do with nursing being a female dominated feild. YUP, I know I hit a nerve or 2 with that remark. They should teach in ADN program how to fit into the new role, or at the very least communication skills with coworkers. Teamwork is preached but what to do when it fails/stalls needs to be taught.
Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.
I humbly totally disagree with the martyrdom. Save yourself. These nurses may destroy you. In which case the saying: "nurses eat their young" will happen. Choose your battles wisely. From what you are describing it strikes me personally that you can't win.
This is a very tough topic and even tougher to deal with. Yes it is true in my experience that nurse eat not only their young but their own. Some nursing environments are more toxic than others.
This is one of the things that struck me the hardest out of nursing school. It is unbelievable to me just how mean spirited, cruel and down right cold and hardened a lot of nurses can be and are. I agree pick your battles wisely. In a perfect world we would all be strong enough emotionally to stand up for ourselves and deal with the back lash that almost always follows. However there are quite a few of us that are just not confrontational and that is not necessarily a bad thing either. It is not being a martr we all have different personalities and that is ok.
I personally am not confrontational. If I believe a pt is being harmed or neglected that is an entirely different matter. I can and will be a pit bull. Otherwise I am just not a fighter. I nearly destroyed myself emotionally and physically staying in a toxic environment way to long. It is all well and good to take a stand but it doesn't work unless you have good strong backing from the powers that be. If that is not the case then you will only make things worse for yourself by confronting. I have never been intimidated by management all they can do is fire you as for coworkers they can and will make your life he!!.
If you are a strong personality stay and take a stand. If you are not then talk with your feet and move on.
Deb I'm with you on this one. I'm all about choosing battles wisely, which is why I'm not one to complain a lot about the small stuff at work. You rarely ever here me complain about a coworker and what they leave me to do.
But being assertive, confronting bullies, and not putting up with crap from coworkers is not being a martyr. It's being pro-active, self-actualized and mature.
Hi all! I'm a new grad on a MS floor (just off orientation). I always heard about the "nurses eat their young" thing in school and thought it was silly, but now I'm beginning to wonder....
First of all, I'm 29 and have worked in plenty of other environments, and never expereinced what I have at this hospital. My first day on the unit, not one person acknowledged me until the NM came in and forced them to deal with me (my preceptor had not shown up my first day...can you believe it?).
I'm tired of hearing nurses on this unit (even some of the newer ones) complain about the other new grads, and the nursing students who rotate on our floor. I can't imagine being so mean, and I KNOW they're talking about me! In fact, I've walked into the med room and it has been so obvious that they ARE talking about me (you can see the guilt).
Maybe I'm paranoid, but I feel like since I've been off orientation I've been given the "heaviest" patients on the floor. Inevitably, I'll be given the one patient with end stage renal disease and end stage AIDS dementia with a GT and Cdiff, along with two other full care patients and two really emotionally needy patients who keep me in their room all day while patient number one is vomiting up her tube feeds and pulling out her TLC.
So, all these nurses say to my face "let me know if you need help", but it's obvious that once I've exceeded what they consider to be a reasonable number of questions that they're irritated. Meanwhile, I'm running around like a madwoman and they're sitting at the nurses station gossiping about some other nurse who is off that day. Right now I'm only taking 5 patients because I don't feel like I'm ready for 6, but already they've been asking me "so when do you think you can take 6 patients?"
Is the way I'm feeling normal? I feel paranoid or something...How should I deal with this situation??????
Hang in there... I don't think you're paranoid, and I think sometimes nurses that are all gossipy and (whispers) lazy are threatened by those like you... I agree with the others... involve the NM... if you let them walk all over you, it may not stop anytime soon...
I think there is an innocence with young nurses that older nurses hate. We (and I say we because I have only been a nurse for 1 year) are still optimistic, hopeful, and oh so CAREFUL! We do question every little thing because we don't know. It's obvious that you don't have to interact with these people on a personal level, but you should NEVER, EVER be afraid to ask for help. If their attitudes deter you from asking for help, taking things into your own hands could prove fatal. Tell the nurse manager that it's just too tough for you right now. They should be able to work something out. It's an awful thing what time and experience does to some nurses. They are bitter as H#$%!
From my perspective I see what I think is a large risk for this new nurse. Its great to be idealistic, but this nurse describes herself as being a newbie. You put yourself out there for the cause of speaking up and stopping what is not right you may get clobbered. This bullying may have been going on for some time. Do any of you really believe this newbie is going to stop it ? At what cost to her ?
And yes I know I am setting myself up here since my comments appear to be different than most postings on this thread.
Sorry I meant to reply to this posting and did not include it previously. From my perspective I see what I think is a large risk for this new nurse. Its great to be idealistic, but this nurse describes herself as being a newbie. You put yourself out there for the cause of speaking up and stopping what is not right you may get clobbered. This bullying may have been going on for some time. Do any of you really believe this newbie is going to stop it ? At what cost to her ?
And yes I know I am setting myself up here since my comments appear to be different than most postings on this thread.
Yes there are bullies everywhere, yes there are people with bad attitudes but I think that kind of behaviour is truly revolting. Perhaps 24/7 hours and little compensation aren't the only factors contributing to the nursing shortage. I understand burnout, however it is unfathomable to me how people in a very caring profession could be so callous, conniving and unwilling to help. I would have to agree with most responses in this thread: be polite but firm, stand up for yourself but do not go to the nurse manager unless it is completely intolerable. By that time, the delporable behaviour will be witnessed by others. It seems the "seasoned" nurses may have allies further up the food chain (i.e. charge nurse, nurse mgr)...be careful and good luck.
oneLoneNurse
613 Posts
I humbly totally disagree with the martyrdom. Save yourself. These nurses may destroy you. In which case the saying: "nurses eat their young" will happen. Choose your battles wisely. From what you are describing it strikes me personally that you can't win.