Disrespect & Profanity

Nurses General Nursing

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I've got a couple of burrs under my saddle blanket and am requesting feedback from the allnurses community regarding professional behaviors:

I believe:

Someone should be referred to with their title of Ms, Mrs, Mr, Dr, etc. and their surname until permission is granted otherwise.

Profanity in professional situations is rarely acceptable and if so used, should be in consensual agreement, e.g. "May I speak frankly?"

It gets my goat how some believe they have the freedom to address another or use language that is not becoming to a professional relationship.

My wife, medical nurse Belinda, told me that at Anomaly Memorial Hospital the staff are encouraged to refer to the patients by their first names because it comes across as being more friendly.

In reading some articles on the internet, profanity is condoned and supported in some professional situations because it "releases tension".

"Bullhockey!" say I.

In my experiences, respect is received, even with Salt-of-the-Earth Psychotics, by giving them respect. And that respect, reinforced, has prevented escalating patients from experiencing total meltdowns: The statement, "I expect you to give me the same respect I give you" has caused many an angry patient to take pause.

I think of the multitude of smiles I've received, asking a patient, "May I call you...?" Or: "What would you like to be called?"

Profanity is rarely necessary in a professional situation. The use of profanity can be a sign of loss of control, or apathy. I hear profanity from an acquaintance as their way of saying, "I can say whatever I want with no regard to you".

I truly enjoy using euphemisms to say the vilest thing in the sweetest, most respectful way. Forms of the word "imprudent" has become one of my favs as of late: "You can't fix imprudence" sounds so much more respectful than the mainstream saying. Or: "How imprudent of administration to do that!"

Euphemisms help to take the focus of how something is said and puts the focus on what is said.

What do you think?

Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
8 hours ago, Daisy4RN said:

Bravo DaveyDo, well played!!

Thank you, Daisy. I think I'll call this piece of prose "The Condoned Behavior Address".

"The Illinois Department of Employment Security (IDES) has ruled that if an employee behavior has been condoned by the employer, other employees cannot be reprimanded as a result of the same behavior.

Therefore, an employee may interrupt a professional meeting, interfere with patient care and safety, use flagrant profanity, be privy to Protected Health Information which is not required to be known in order for them to to perform their duties, give erroneous legal advice, oppose an administrative declaration, name call, harass, create a hostile workplace and continue to be employed by Wrongway Regional Medical Center."

I never heard back from the CEO although I returned the call and left a message. I plan to email the CEO this weekend with this information and provide him with a copy of The Condoned Behavior Address.

Daisy, as far as taking the resolution of a problem situation as far as one is able, that is quite understandable, and even a wise thing to do. We do not want to throw the baby out with the bathwater.

However, I got a vasectomy in 1986, there is no baby, so I'm not too concerned about dealing with this dirty bathwater.

Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
8 hours ago, TriciaJ said:

I don't know the administrators you're communicating with but I still love picturing them hacking up hairballs when they read your correspondence.

We love imagining administrators hacking up hairballs, don't we, TriciaJ? ? I tend to think they take these things as flicking a piece of lint off their shoulder.

Although I have heard tale that Mr. CEO can get rather loud with middle management.

Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
7 hours ago, Daisy4RN said:

This is so true! And it is especially difficult when your BS tolerance was low to begin with (as was my case!).

Is it that our tolerance is low, or we hold others to the same high expectations to which we hold ourselves?

Rooty Payne and I were discussing this topic recently. I stated that a common ground he, Eleanor, and I have is the common ground of high standards.

And that's why we're known as...

365305128_dreamteam.png.72a974af76142994bece3922372090aa.png

Low tolerance may just sometimes be a ramification of high standards.

Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
7 hours ago, TriciaJ said:

At age 12 I was once required to write an essay for punishment.

I've always been my own worst critic. In an attempt to be more mature, I remember writing at the age of 12, "You need to to start acting like a 12 year old!"

I do believe you and I have finally reached that goal, TriciaJ!

Specializes in Psych, Corrections, Med-Surg, Ambulatory.
3 minutes ago, Davey Do said:

I've always been my own worst critic. In an attempt to be more mature, I remember writing at the age of 12, "You need to to start acting like a 12 year old!"

I do believe you and I have finally reached that goal, TriciaJ!

Speak for yourself. I've become downright curmudgeonly.

Specializes in Dialysis.
4 hours ago, Davey Do said:

Thank you, TriciaJ, but I don't see my retirement starting as a direct result of this.

However, I attempt to plan for the unexpected, so my termination has been considered. In fact, I came home on Monday morning and had a nice talk with Belinda about this whole condoned behavior thing and the possibility that I may get fired over this.

Belinda said, "Well then you'll have the time to bike the KATY Trail!"

I think I would like to work another year or two, but, you know.

As long as you've got a plan, they don't have you over a barrel! I think regardless of how it goes, life will be fine

7 hours ago, Davey Do said:

We do not want to throw the baby out with the bathwater.

However, I got a vasectomy in 1986, there is no baby, so I'm not too concerned about dealing with this dirty bathwater.

LMAO! ?

Specializes in Travel, Home Health, Med-Surg.
13 hours ago, Davey Do said:

Is it that our tolerance is low, or we hold others to the same high expectations to which we hold ourselves?

Rooty Payne and I were discussing this topic recently. I stated that a common ground he, Eleanor, and I have is the common ground of high standards.

And that's why we're known as...

365305128_dreamteam.png.72a974af76142994bece3922372090aa.png

Low tolerance may just sometimes be a ramification of high standards.

Good point, I never thought of it that way.

Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).

The rumor mill has it that Clark is being investigated and has not been seen in a few days.

On 3/12/2020 at 11:25 PM, Davey Do said:

I never heard back from the CEO although I returned the call and left a message. I plan to email the CEO this weekend with this information and provide him with a copy of The Condoned Behavior Address.

When I had time, I checked my work email and found one from Mr. CEO sent Monday thanking me, saying that he was going to have his secretary "set up a meeting with you as soon as possible". Then, he thanked me again. I have a feeling the secretary called from an extension where she would be for a time and gave me that number. I left a message at that extension after I got up that night and believe there was a wire crossed in getting the message through.

Anyway, I am not going to send Mr. CEO a copy of The Condoned Behavior Address, since I have a feeling that it may no longer apply. Empirically speaking, I don't know if Clark continues to be employed by Wrongway.

We'll see.

Heh heh heh! The plot thickens!

It's purely subjective.

From a personal perspective when I am a client in most any business, I really dislike and am uncomfortable with overly formal service. It feels like an uncomfortable kiss-up when your nurse/server/whatever is laying down the sirs and ma'ams and Misters and Misses too heavily. I like to be treated like a person, not a product. I also don't want my service to just come in cussing like a sailor (although I'm okay with it personally) because I want to get the sense that they're first conscious of my comfort zone, but I get so annoyed with overly formal people. I don't mind some mild cussing once we've established a rapport, it shows that they're comfortable and I appear comfortable to them.

But I realize some people (particularly older people) love to have the formalities laid on heavily, and that's fine. Our comfort zones and expectations are subjective.

So as a nurse I try to get a feel for my patient and their family's comfort zone very quickly. I will treat each patient according to what makes them comfortable. If I have an elderly couple who seems very proper, I will stick with sirs and ma'ams and mister and misses, and keep it very professional. If I have a more laid back person, then I will talk to them more casually on a first name basis, although I very rarely cuss with patients or their families.

Another thing to consider about using the first name though is the patient's condition. If I'm in the ICU trying to rouse an intubated and sedated patient, I have found people often respond much better to the name they go by. So if "Mister Sanford" isn't working but I know his family calls him "Scooter", I'll try Scooter instead and see how the response is.

There's not one formula for patient interaction in every situation.

Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).

I was discussing this whole Clark debacle with Jason Hiney RN tonight. It seems Jason attempted to lovingly guide Clark by saying something like, "Just stay away from Dave".

After the shift report incident, Jason noted that Clark was on the geriatric psych unit for no particular reason, maybe except to just make me feel uncomfortable.

Jason told Clark, "Look, you'll never win in this thing with Dave. He's got a license and is a money maker for the hospital and all you've got is a...

****ant master's degree!"

It was funny when Jason told me this, but now I'm wondering if Clark is not more troubled than even what I thought.

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