Disrespect & Profanity

Nurses General Nursing

Updated:   Published

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I've got a couple of burrs under my saddle blanket and am requesting feedback from the allnurses community regarding professional behaviors:

I believe:

Someone should be referred to with their title of Ms, Mrs, Mr, Dr, etc. and their surname until permission is granted otherwise.

Profanity in professional situations is rarely acceptable and if so used, should be in consensual agreement, e.g. "May I speak frankly?"

It gets my goat how some believe they have the freedom to address another or use language that is not becoming to a professional relationship.

My wife, medical nurse Belinda, told me that at Anomaly Memorial Hospital the staff are encouraged to refer to the patients by their first names because it comes across as being more friendly.

In reading some articles on the internet, profanity is condoned and supported in some professional situations because it "releases tension".

"Bullhockey!" say I.

In my experiences, respect is received, even with Salt-of-the-Earth Psychotics, by giving them respect. And that respect, reinforced, has prevented escalating patients from experiencing total meltdowns: The statement, "I expect you to give me the same respect I give you" has caused many an angry patient to take pause.

I think of the multitude of smiles I've received, asking a patient, "May I call you...?" Or: "What would you like to be called?"

Profanity is rarely necessary in a professional situation. The use of profanity can be a sign of loss of control, or apathy. I hear profanity from an acquaintance as their way of saying, "I can say whatever I want with no regard to you".

I truly enjoy using euphemisms to say the vilest thing in the sweetest, most respectful way. Forms of the word "imprudent" has become one of my favs as of late: "You can't fix imprudence" sounds so much more respectful than the mainstream saying. Or: "How imprudent of administration to do that!"

Euphemisms help to take the focus of how something is said and puts the focus on what is said.

What do you think?

Specializes in Psych, Corrections, Med-Surg, Ambulatory.
2 hours ago, Davey Do said:

Thank you, TriciaJ. I hold your opinion in high esteem.

Now: Please tell me why you are "loving this" so we can trade perspectives.

OK. I got interrupted earlier so I had to cut it short. I think you are in the enviable position of them needing you more than you need them.

This is a win for you either way. You either get better working conditions or you walk. (Or go out on the end of someone's foot - who cares?)

This situation needs a hero. Looks like you're it.

Specializes in Travel, Home Health, Med-Surg.
2 hours ago, Davey Do said:

I am glad you too are loving this Daisy, and as I requested of TriciaJ, request the same of you as to why.

The DAISY award was signed by the chief quality control officer, its reason for being presented was read at the awards ceremony, which I did not attend, and was to be presented by the CEO. The award was given to me the following Monday by my direct supervisor. So, I'd say, yeah, administration recognized me.

As I wrote in my notice, "I will be accepting no further work assignments until..." I plan not to go into work until the aforementioned criteria has been met.

Thanks for the good luck wish, Daisy. However, I beg to differ that I'll be needing it.

Like a game of chess, or working as a scrub in OR, I've planned my reactions to the many possible variables several moves ahead. I endeavor to expect the unexpected so that the unexpected becomes the expected.

But, if I trip and fall and land face down in the mud, it won't be the first time.

Thanks for your comment, Daisy!

I dont mean to nit pik but the Daisy award came from the DAISY Foundation and admin really had no choice but to sign and "give" it to you. I only point this out because I dont think that your admin will factor the Daisy into any decision they make. I have seen admin turn on someone that they did in fact give an award to.

I love that you are digging in your heals and have thought through different scenarios. I say good luck because they always seem to find a way to getcha where you least expect it (check mate) , I hope this is not the case with you. I think admin will realize you are right and Clark is a jerk (no matter how he got there). I am glad that you are taking a stand!

I tend to agree with Tricia that they will be calling you with a plan for proceeding re: the Clark situation. If you are having a conversation/communications with admin I would also throw something in there about "patient safety", how his behavior is disruptive to the unit and it affects the patients etc. They always have a hard time arguing against that.

I sincerely hope you don't "land face down in the mud" but I am sure you will clean up nicely if you do! And, as they say..'been there done that' (sometimes it is well worth it).

Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
3 hours ago, Hoosier_RN said:

you are taking a stand, in the name of patient safety and employee responsibility and all rules that apply as such.

You have said, Hoosier, in two lines that make up this whole shebang.

Patient safety is the priority and it has been compromised by a arrogant rogue's behavior. And, in an underlying way, I'm confronting administrative officials to stop being hypocrites and to either put up or shut up.

I am ready to walk away from Wrongway. The more I let this set in, the more I know I'm ready to walk away, but I will play it and be open to all possible outcomes.

Thank you for your comment, Hoosier.

Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
2 hours ago, TriciaJ said:

OK. I got interrupted earlier so I had to cut it short. I think you are in the enviable position of them needing you more than you need them.

This is a win for you either way. You either get better working conditions or you walk. (Or go out on the end of someone's foot - who cares?)

This situation needs a hero. Looks like you're it.

I agree with the "them needing you more than you needing them" part, however my brother-in-arms, Rooty Payne disagrees.

Rooty is the only one, outside of Rita and Mia, that knows what's going on and it's because I trust him to the Nth degree. I texted Rooty, gave him an update with permission to tell anyone he wanted. Rooty was the first person I told about Clark's behavior back in January, and he asked, "Dave, do you really want to go through with this? You're looking at retirement and you can put up with this BS and just get out of here".

You know what my answer was.

Rooty now says not to hold my breath, they don't care, Mia and her crew won't address anything, and don't get your hopes up. I responded that I knew all that, I just wanted him to know in case anybody asks, "Where's Dave?", he knows the answer.

As far as your hero comment is concerned, Joseph Campbell said something along the lines of, "A hero is one who redeems society. A celebrity is in it just for himself".

Given the fact that I'm about altruistic as misanthropic tick, I think I can be considered a heroic celebrity!

Thanks for everything, TriciaJ!

Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).

I'm going to respond to your post like eating an elephant, Daisy.

52 minutes ago, Daisy4RN said:

I dont mean to nit pik but the Daisy award came from the DAISY Foundation and admin really had no choice but to sign and "give" it to you. I only point this out because I dont think that your admin will factor the Daisy into any decision they make. I have seen admin turn on someone that they did in fact give an award to.

Again, I beg to differ, Daisy.

Jason Hiney was part of the middle management team at one time, and he said, "We really wanted you to have some recognition".

Back in December 2018, my documentation prevented a lawsuit. Then, in the past year, I identified three patients who were going south and was integral in getting them treatment before they did so. Even though this is something an ER or other medical nurse might do in one shift, it's a big deal when a dumb ol' psych nurse does this sort of thing.

The award nomination was from a quality control staff member who wrote, "Had it not been for the assessments, follow through, & persistence that David showed, the outcome could have been very different... David's response & documentation was spot on".

Whatever the case may be, Daisy, I'm either going to use the award for leverage, or as a really nice goodbye note!

Specializes in Psych, Corrections, Med-Surg, Ambulatory.
18 minutes ago, Davey Do said:

As far as your hero comment is concerned, Joseph Campbell said something along the lines of, "A hero is one who redeems society. A celebrity is in it just for himself".

Given the fact that I'm about altruistic as misanthropic tick, I think I can be considered a heroic celebrity!

Well, I don't quite see it that way. Staff and patients are negatively affected by Clarke's behaviour. Management couldn't be bothered, because he doesn't turn up in their office to disrupt their workday. If you can get their attention, you might be redeeming your workplace for all concerned.

You could have just up and retired, and left them all to it. And you would have gotten a party on the way out. You are risking going out without the party. I call that pretty altruistic!

Specializes in Travel, Home Health, Med-Surg.
9 minutes ago, Davey Do said:

I'm going to respond to your post like eating an elephant, Daisy.

Again, I beg to differ, Daisy.

Jason Hiney was part of the middle management team at one time, and he said, "We really wanted you to have some recognition".

Back in December 2018, my documentation prevented a lawsuit. Then, in the past year, I identified three patients who were going south and was integral in getting them treatment before they did so. Even though this is something an ER or other medical nurse might do in one shift, it's a big deal when a dumb ol' psych nurse does this sort of thing.

The award nomination was from a quality control staff member who wrote, "Had it not been for the assessments, follow through, & persistence that David showed, the outcome could have been very different... David's response & documentation was spot on".

Whatever the case may be, Daisy, I'm either going to use the award for leverage, or as a really nice goodbye note!

I stand corrected! I believe you mentioned that it was a nomination from qualify control staff in a previous post, I was thinking it came from a family member. (I will blame it on a senior moment LOL).

I still think --even though we know admin doesn't really care-- that they will do something to rectify the situation. Hopefully you use the award for leverage. Either way it was well deserved!

Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
2 minutes ago, TriciaJ said:

Well, I don't quite see it that way. Staff and patients are negatively affected by Clarke's behaviour. Management couldn't be bothered, because he doesn't turn up in their office to disrupt their workday. If you can get their attention, you might be redeeming your workplace for all concerned.

You could have just up and retired, and left them all to it. And you would have gotten a party on the way out. You are risking going out without the party. I call that pretty altruistic!

Clark ranto Mia's office after I said the words "****ant hotshot" as I walked by him. Clark is one of Mia's cronies. Jason was called downto Mia's office and was questioned on my behavior toward Clark when I said, "Clark, how in the **** are ya?!"

So, Clark has been in Mia's office when she was there on a Sunday night due to the restraint fiasco in ER.

The next time I saw Clark, I poked the bear:

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Remember?

And: I don't call that altruistic since I don't like parties.

Specializes in Psych, Corrections, Med-Surg, Ambulatory.
2 minutes ago, Davey Do said:

Clark ranto Mia's office after I said the words "****ant hotshot" as I walked by him. Clark is one of Mia's cronies. Jason was called downto Mia's office and was questioned on my behavior toward Clark when I said, "Clark, how in the **** are ya?!"

So, Clark has been in Mia's office when she was there on a Sunday night due to the restraint fiasco in ER.

The next time I saw Clark, I poked the bear:

waah.jpg.d63a26085cc803abbccfcd796db41169.jpg

Remember?

And: I don't call that altruistic since I don't like parties.

Oh, I know he ran and tattled. My point was, as long as everyone lets him hang around shift report and be disruptive, he has no need to tattle so management doesn't have to deal with him. You have put everyone's feet to the fire.

So you're saying it just wouldn't be your thing to retire quietly? You need to go out in a hail of gunfire? I think in literary terms you'd be referred to as an anti-hero. Because you'd still be striking a blow for patients and staff who can't speak for themselves.

Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
21 minutes ago, TriciaJ said:

If you can get their attention, you might be redeeming your workplace for all concerned.

It would be truly something if I could redeem the workplace,TriciaJ, but administration's modus operandi is to put out a fire, create a P&P, and walk off like an actor from the old movie "Night of the Living Dead".

Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
1 minute ago, TriciaJ said:

So you're saying it just wouldn't be your thing to retire quietly? You need to go out in a hail of gunfire? I think in literary terms you'd be referred to as an anti-hero. Because you'd still be striking a blow for patients and staff who can't speak for themselves.

I really like the last scene in the movie "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid"!

I believe myself to be the voice of those who are unable or not willing to speak. As Ranger Rodd said after one mandatory inservice, "I'd say things at those meetings you say if I knew I was going to be leaving soon!"

Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
2 hours ago, Daisy4RN said:

I tend to agree with Tricia that they will be calling you with a plan for proceeding re: the Clark situation. If you are having a conversation/communications with admin I would also throw something in there about "patient safety", how his behavior is disruptive to the unit and it affects the patients etc. They always have a hard time arguing against that.

I'm glad you mentioned this, Daisy, because it's one of the things I have on my itinerary.

One thought is a manifesto on visitors and non scheduled staff reporting to the nurses station and/or to the charge nurse.

Clark hasn't been the only culprit. I've seen lots of employees just wandering around on the unit for no good reason. As the charge nurse, I am responsible for the unit and cannot control the situation if staff members act like developmentally delayed children wandering onto the middle of a minefield.

It's a real peeve of mine and I have several examples. When I worked at a real hospital, every staff member knew that when they were on a particular unit, they let the unit staff know why they were there and what their business was.

Gawd, I could go on and on about this!

Okay, Davey. Deep breathe.

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