Disrespect & Profanity

Nurses General Nursing

Updated:   Published

do-you-agree-profanity-is-acceptable.jpg.1c3dcc0ca1cde2dd5373d5a19bc0d2b0.jpg

I've got a couple of burrs under my saddle blanket and am requesting feedback from the allnurses community regarding professional behaviors:

I believe:

Someone should be referred to with their title of Ms, Mrs, Mr, Dr, etc. and their surname until permission is granted otherwise.

Profanity in professional situations is rarely acceptable and if so used, should be in consensual agreement, e.g. "May I speak frankly?"

It gets my goat how some believe they have the freedom to address another or use language that is not becoming to a professional relationship.

My wife, medical nurse Belinda, told me that at Anomaly Memorial Hospital the staff are encouraged to refer to the patients by their first names because it comes across as being more friendly.

In reading some articles on the internet, profanity is condoned and supported in some professional situations because it "releases tension".

"Bullhockey!" say I.

In my experiences, respect is received, even with Salt-of-the-Earth Psychotics, by giving them respect. And that respect, reinforced, has prevented escalating patients from experiencing total meltdowns: The statement, "I expect you to give me the same respect I give you" has caused many an angry patient to take pause.

I think of the multitude of smiles I've received, asking a patient, "May I call you...?" Or: "What would you like to be called?"

Profanity is rarely necessary in a professional situation. The use of profanity can be a sign of loss of control, or apathy. I hear profanity from an acquaintance as their way of saying, "I can say whatever I want with no regard to you".

I truly enjoy using euphemisms to say the vilest thing in the sweetest, most respectful way. Forms of the word "imprudent" has become one of my favs as of late: "You can't fix imprudence" sounds so much more respectful than the mainstream saying. Or: "How imprudent of administration to do that!"

Euphemisms help to take the focus of how something is said and puts the focus on what is said.

What do you think?

Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
8 minutes ago, Daisy4RN said:

If you do retire I hope you don't disappear from this site!!

Thank you for your whole post, Daisy, and I don't think I'll disappear, merely cut back quite a bit.

My biggest concern is that when this whole thing blows over, I'll have to find some other situation to be neurotically obsessed about.

On second thought, I can always find a reason to be neurotic!

Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
29 minutes ago, Daisy4RN said:

Unfortunately I have seen this way too many times. Not only with trouble makers but lazy employees also!

Last August, HR wrote me up for propping the nurses station door open, saying that it created a safety hazard. They were on me like a pit bull on a poodle.

My concerns about a multitude of profanities in a professional setting, interfering with patient care and safety, erroneous legal interpretation, etc. has elicited virtually no response.

It makes me wonder if HR is like some nurses who don't want to get involved with some complicated treatments and respond with avoidance.

Quite a few psych nurses highly dislike working geriatric psych because of the medical aspect and will avoid it if possible. Scheduling will not allow some nurses to be the only RN on geriatric psych for fearing they will do more damage than good.

One quick example is an RN who gave SS insulin for a glucose level of 102.

Another RN burst into tears when she learned she had to work geriatric psych.

Perhaps we should add "incompetent" to the list next to "lazy" employees!

So following the chain of events, it's crystal clear he's a nepotism hire. I don't really have any advice on the situation as you seem to already have a plan moving ahead. The only thing I will say is keep a log of events. Keep emailing them and send a copy to your personal email. If they call, which they will when they're telling you some bullswanky, send them a follow up email with something like "per our discussion at so and so time on such and such day...." to continue your paper trail because they will claim that conversation never happened.

I don't like how they tried to basically misdirect your letter and immediately jump to your alleged resignation. That's the easy way out so they won't have to acknowledge Mr. Nepotism was wrong.

I despise workplace politics!

Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
5 hours ago, Davey Do said:

This is a card I have up my sleeve and will use it PRN.

Rita sent me an email this afternoon asking me to meet with her at either 4:00, 4:30, or 5:00. This is my reply:

Ms. Weasle:

I have reasonable grounds to believe that a meeting with HR will resolve nothing and I base those reasonable grounds on the premise of past activities:

On March 21, 2017 I filed a grievance with HR for harassment against Amy Ministrator, the former Director of Psych. You requested a meeting "next week". The following week, I attended a "fact-finding" meeting in HR.

After the meeting, I received no follow up communication.

I have verbally requested that Margie Maypole, past geriatric psych manager, Janie Glasgow, interim geriatric psych manager, RoofElmo Kong, present geriatric psych manager, and Rickyo Omega, HR Manager look into this matter. I have received no follow up communication, so the grievance was never resolved.

On January 18, 2020, I sent an email to Mia Pillsbury, Psych Director with a cc: RoofElmo Kong titled "Inappropriate Behavior". My email stated, in part, "it was necessary to request that the CPI instructor refrain from using profanities like 'p*****, a**, b******' and f***'. Such obscenities were used far over a dozen times before I voiced my request".

I received an email response from Ricky Omega, dated January 21, 2020 stating, "Thank you for bringing this to our attention. We will look into this matter".

Two months have passed and I have received no further communication regarding this initial concern from Mr. Omega, therefore, it has has not been resolved.

I received an email from you on March 5, 2020 stating, in part, "I would like to discuss your concerns further. Can you please let me know what when you would be able to meet next week?"

A teleconference was scheduled, to which only I confirmed, for March 12, 2020 at 7:30 or 8:00 am. I received a telephone call after 8:00 am and was informed that the meeting would be postponed, due to other matters needing to be addressed and your need to "(pull) together some more documents", until an arbitrary date and time of "next week".

I immediately sent an email stating, in part, "an employee may interrupt a professional meeting, interfere with patient care and safety, use flagrant profanity, be privy to Protected Health Information which is not required to be known in order for them to to perform their duties, give erroneous legal advice, oppose an administrative declaration, name call, harass, create a hostile workplace and continue to be employed by Wrongway Regional Medical Center", for which I received no reply.

I waited a full week after receiving no further communication, and on March 19, 2020 sent an email stating, in part, "I will be accepting no further work assignments until my concerns are validated and addressed and I am reasonably sure that I will be respectfully treated while working in a safe, non hostile environment where established laws, codes, guidelines, policies and procedures are enforced".

I received a response email later that day stating, in part, "am I to accept this as your resignation?" when no such message was conveyed.

I received an email earlier today stating, in part, "I believe it is important that we meet to discuss your concerns and the response of the organization to your concerns". The words "your apprehensions" were used in the email and are appropriate in describing my feelings about a portion of my concerns. For example, starting two months ago, a number of staff were ill advised by a CPI instructor on a legal process, and those staff members are under the assumption that that advisement was correct. This alone causes me great apprehension for the welfare of the patients, staff, facility and, of course, myself.

I do not believe that a short, scheduled last minute meeting with HR can, or will, resolve these paramount matters and I base my belief on the above documentation.

Therefore, I am respectfully requesting that a higher level official, such as Ted Bumblingham, CEO, oversee this resolution process.

I also request that copies of all of our email correspondence be forwarded to Mr. Bumblingham.

Thank you,

Davey Do RN

In my most recent work adventure, one of the medical directors would cuss during our rounds calls to express his displeasure with area hospitals and their staff, and even non compliant patients who have frequent admissions.

Patients are admitted for a number of reasons, but cussing about their admission and how it cuts into profits isn’t the reason I became a nurse. Not at all! The company’s lack of infrastructure and poor planning to create and strengthen relationships with other hospitals should be taken offline and discussed with the appropriate stakeholders in that section.

I have enough things on my plate and do not have room in my schedule to be a contract negotiator, claims adjuster, medical records clerk or provider relations wizard.

Specializes in Travel, Home Health, Med-Surg.
2 hours ago, Davey Do said:

Rita sent me an email this afternoon asking me to meet with her at either 4:00, 4:30, or 5:00. This is my reply:

Ms. Weasle:

I have reasonable grounds to believe that a meeting with HR will resolve nothing and I base those reasonable grounds on the premise of past activities:

On March 21, 2017 I filed a grievance with HR for harassment against Amy Ministrator, the former Director of Psych. You requested a meeting "next week". The following week, I attended a "fact-finding" meeting in HR.

After the meeting, I received no follow up communication.

I have verbally requested that Margie Maypole, past geriatric psych manager, Janie Glasgow, interim geriatric psych manager, RoofElmo Kong, present geriatric psych manager, and Rickyo Omega, HR Manager look into this matter. I have received no follow up communication, so the grievance was never resolved.

On January 18, 2020, I sent an email to Mia Pillsbury, Psych Director with a cc: RoofElmo Kong titled "Inappropriate Behavior". My email stated, in part, "it was necessary to request that the CPI instructor refrain from using profanities like 'p*****, a**, b******' and f***'. Such obscenities were used far over a dozen times before I voiced my request".

I received an email response from Ricky Omega, dated January 21, 2020 stating, "Thank you for bringing this to our attention. We will look into this matter".

Two months have passed and I have received no further communication regarding this initial concern from Mr. Omega, therefore, it has has not been resolved.

I received an email from you on March 5, 2020 stating, in part, "I would like to discuss your concerns further. Can you please let me know what when you would be able to meet next week?"

A teleconference was scheduled, to which only I confirmed, for March 12, 2020 at 7:30 or 8:00 am. I received a telephone call after 8:00 am and was informed that the meeting would be postponed, due to other matters needing to be addressed and your need to "(pull) together some more documents", until an arbitrary date and time of "next week".

I immediately sent an email stating, in part, "an employee may interrupt a professional meeting, interfere with patient care and safety, use flagrant profanity, be privy to Protected Health Information which is not required to be known in order for them to to perform their duties, give erroneous legal advice, oppose an administrative declaration, name call, harass, create a hostile workplace and continue to be employed by Wrongway Regional Medical Center", for which I received no reply.

I waited a full week after receiving no further communication, and on March 19, 2020 sent an email stating, in part, "I will be accepting no further work assignments until my concerns are validated and addressed and I am reasonably sure that I will be respectfully treated while working in a safe, non hostile environment where established laws, codes, guidelines, policies and procedures are enforced".

I received a response email later that day stating, in part, "am I to accept this as your resignation?" when no such message was conveyed.

I received an email earlier today stating, in part, "I believe it is important that we meet to discuss your concerns and the response of the organization to your concerns". The words "your apprehensions" were used in the email and are appropriate in describing my feelings about a portion of my concerns. For example, starting two months ago, a number of staff were ill advised by a CPI instructor on a legal process, and those staff members are under the assumption that that advisement was correct. This alone causes me great apprehension for the welfare of the patients, staff, facility and, of course, myself.

I do not believe that a short, scheduled last minute meeting with HR can, or will, resolve these paramount matters and I base my belief on the above documentation.

Therefore, I am respectfully requesting that a higher level official, such as Ted Bumblingham, CEO, oversee this resolution process.

I also request that copies of all of our email correspondence be forwarded to Mr. Bumblingham.

Thank you,

Davey Do RN

3tfa6v.jpg

You are the last Jedi, may the force be with you!!

Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
9 hours ago, Davey Do said:

Thanks for the advice, Daisy. But I'd be lying, according to my feelings at this time, if I said "I would like to continue my employment", because I don't.

It doesn't look like I'm going to continue my employment.

It looks like I'm going to be canned. Rita's reply:

Dave, Since you were unable to meet today and have requested this matter to be reviewed by Mr. Bumblingham, CEO, you are not to report to your scheduled shift until a we have a chance to meet and discuss. Please note my available times for Monday are as follows: 8:30am 9:00am or 10:00am.

My tentative reply:

Actually, Rita, I did not "ask that this matter be reviewed by Mr. Bumblingham", I stated, "I am respectfully requesting that a higher level official, such as Ted Bublingham CEO, oversee this resolution process". Ted and I have exchanged a couple of emails, but have been unable to set up a meeting.

Will my request that be honored by you that he be contacted and request that he oversee this, or do I need to contact Mr. Bumblingham personally?

I will be available to discuss this with you at 8:30 am on Monday, since our teleconference never came to fruition on March 12, 2020 and was put off.

I believe Rita tried to telephone me twice after I sent that long email, but I don't have caller ID and turned off my answering machine.

We'll see.

Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
10 minutes ago, Daisy4RN said:

You are the last Jedi, may the force be with you!!

I saw the original Star Wars back in 1977 and haven't seen one since, so I had to look up the definition of Jedi:

"A member of the mystical knightly order in the Star Wars films, trained to guard peace and justice in the Universe."

I read that and said, "Ooooooooh, Daisy!"?

Specializes in Travel, Home Health, Med-Surg.

Yeah, I would tend to agree that this is not gonna go your way but you never know. If Rita tried to call you maybe?

I also saw the original star wars in 1977 and years later my boys loved flailing those light swords all over the place.

You are indeed a Jedi becuase at least you tried, and (depending on outcome) will leave a long career in nursing on a good note knowing you did your best!

Specializes in Psych, Corrections, Med-Surg, Ambulatory.

Well, it ain't over till it's over. At this point, Davey, if they don't fire you, it's going to be so anticlimactic. Either way, some of us are very proud of you because colleagues like you don't grow on trees.

If it's any consolation at all, it's likely the real s. will hit the f. after you've left. That's usually been my experience, in some of the more poorly-run workplaces. It's like you're the Dutch boy and you finally take your finger out of the dyke and then the place floods.

One likely scenario is that Clark becomes super cocky and emboldened after you're gone. That's when he finally steps on his - er - tie. I hope you're close enough friends with someone there who'll keep you posted. The more you hear about the current goings on the gladder you'll be that you're gone. Revenge is a dish best served cold.

I hope you're not planning to go quietly. Do you have a union? Please do file for unemployment and wrongful termination. Just as hobbies while you get used to retirement. Of course if they're rotten enough to reinstate you, you'll have to quit after all.

I am sure of this: whatever happens will ultimately work out in your favour.

Reading your saga reminds me of a version of myself through the years and the admonition a colleague gave me decades ago, “You can be right, and you can be dead right”. At least you will be able to sleep at night (or in your case, in the morning). No matter the outcome, hope you are able to weather this. And may Clark step on his tie!

Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
11 hours ago, Daisy4RN said:

Yeah, I would tend to agree that this is not gonna go your way but you never know. If Rita tried to call you maybe?

"this is not going to go (my) way"? Daisy? Zen?

Rita's email said "we have to meet and discuss". I don't "have to" do anything but die and pay taxes.

My response email mentions a time and a teleconference, so she can call me and I will talk with her.

Something worth mentioning that I thought was relatively insignificant before was the fact that when Rita telephoned me to postpone the meeting til "next week"*, she was on speaker phone. I requested that she please take me off of speakerphone. She said she couldn't because her headset was broken.

I'm interested to see if her headset is still broken when she telephones me on Monday.

*Did anybody happen to notice in my email doubting HR's inability to resolve an issue how may times Rita put things off until "next week"? Odd?

Perhaps Rita follows the same philosophy my dear ol' Daddy followed when I one time quoted Franklin and said, “Don't put off until tomorrow what you can do today.” Dad replied, "If I can put something off until tomorrow, heck, I can put it off until next week!"

+ Add a Comment