I've posted before about my husband being terminally ill and complications that have come up, but this is the worst it has every been. Currently in ICU with ARDS and sepsis, placed on dialysis yesterday. On a vent, paralytic, the whole works.
Miraculously he has been showing signs of improvement. CXR went from a complete white out to having distinguishable upper lobes, heart, ET. That was amazing. Has been running a PEEP of 20. Went in this morning to a stunned looking pulmonologist telling me that the lungs are regaining some elasticity so they got the PEEP down to 8. (PTL!)
I have been glued to his bedside but am home tonight as I had nobody to take care of our 5 year old. Besides she is desperate for some mommy time and vice versa. I was actually sleeping peacefully and his brother called and woke me up. Couldn't go back to sleep and felt God telling me to get on here and get as many prayers as possible going so that dh can get over the hump. My brother in law is an atheist but I continue to witness to him about God in my life and God's ability to heal if it is in his will.
Please, all you that can pray, please help me out on this one. His name is Dan and I love him more than anything. He had not made a decision for the Lord before he was intubated so that is a big reason for wanting him to wake up and have one more chance.
Thanks in advance to all. You guys are wonderful support.
sometimes we walk in the shadows but there is light and you will find the strength to survive . and do not allow these low life people talk to you like that...faith is not easily understood but it doesn't take much smart to keep your mouth shut
Ok,I have given this over to God. God is going to take him when He wants to take him, and it will happen at that time no matter where he is. Maybe I haven't been patient enough for God to work his miracles at this place and prove to these people that there is a Greater Physician than what they have on their staff. Really I have no choice. Even if I got him back here, it would be for a limited amount of days because they have done all they can do. They can't keep him in the hospital on a vent forever and there is nowhere around here for him to be on a vent. So, I'm just going to continue to pray for my miracle and take it hour by hour. Maybe this has all been about me wanting to have my way instead of letting God lead me. (Is there a sheepish-looking smiley:rolleyes: ?) I'm such a basket case at this point. God knows me well and the three things God knows best are 1.) I don't want to lose Dan, 2) I need to be there when he dies, 3)I don't want to have to make the life ending decisions. So, I guess I have to turn it over. On the plus side (sort of), I started back at school today to complete my last 3 pre-requisites for the RN program (but they are lame non-nursing classes.) I'll find out in mid-March if I get in for this May. I hope and pray that I do, so I can get it over with and do the things I'd like to do. Thanks everybody for your support. It means so much to me to read your posts and know that I'm not alone, even when there is nobody physically with me. When this is all over, I think I'll print this thread and write a book. Ps...this is day 33. Watch for tomorrow's update.
you're right joey, you have done everything humanly possible for your precious husband.
when our adrenaline is pumping, we can't see a situation for what it really is- our judgement is blurred.
but yes, turning this over to God, regardless of His intentions, is a wise decision. as long as dan is comfortable, then turn to God and pray for His strength and protection. He will not let you, dan or your dd down. a miracle would be just that, a miracle. prepare for the worst but pray for peace for all involved. aw sweetie, you have been dan's angel all along. and you've done God's work. but now, God is gently nudging you and letting you know that He will take it from here.
don't ever forget joey, that you have inspired so many of us. and yes, God IS with you.
you're right joey, you have done everything humanly possible for your precious husband.
when our adrenaline is pumping, we can't see a situation for what it really is- our judgement is blurred.
but yes, turning this over to God, regardless of His intentions, is a wise decision. as long as dan is comfortable, then turn to God and pray for His strength and protection. He will not let you, dan or your dd down. a miracle would be just that, a miracle. prepare for the worst but pray for peace for all involved. aw sweetie, you have been dan's angel all along. and you've done God's work. but now, God is gently nudging you and letting you know that He will take it from here.
don't ever forget joey, that you have inspired so many of us. and yes, God IS with you.
We know that God is the Great Physician, no matter what they think. However it turns out, He is still God. During all of this, try to take some time for a deep breath. I know it's only you and you have to because it's only you.
Thinking of you and your family. I am so sorry that you have to have these challenges in your life. You are such a strong person, even though you may not see it. Whatever the outcome, be kind to yourself, you have really done all you can.
Nurse Joey - I so admire your strength and courage in the face of this awful illness. Please remember to take time for yourself too as your daughter is depending on you.
nurse joey just want you to know that I put you and family on prayer list .told them I only knew your screen name but was sure God would know who they were talking about..
CHATSDALE
4,177 Posts
sometimes we walk in the shadows but there is light and you will find the strength to survive . and do not allow these low life people talk to you like that...faith is not easily understood but it doesn't take much smart to keep your mouth shut
my prayers are with you