Dating a former patient

[thepsychtech]

First off, I work as a psychiatric technician - I am not a nurse.

Can I legally date a patient after she has been discharged from the psychiatric hospital in which I work? I cared for each of the patients under my care equally - she and I seemed to hit it off instantly, though. Would I be breaching confidentiality laws or the code of ethics by seeing her outside of the hospital now that she has been discharged?

[iluvgusgus]

Do yourself a favor and run the other way! You are setting yourself up for heartache.

[Stephalump]

I wish there were more resources for issues like this.

It's completely normal and reasonable to find love/attraction at work. Walking away can be extremely difficult. And talking about it can be scary.

[SionainnRN]

I wish there were more resources for issues like this.

It's completely normal and reasonable to find love/attraction at work. Walking away can be extremely difficult. And talking about it can be scary.

And I think a lot of people would be feeling different about the situation if she wasn't a psych pt. There's nothing wrong with clicking with a pt, or finding yourself attracted to someone. What you do with those feelings however, can be very detrimental to yourself and the pt.

[LadyFree28, BSN, LPN, RN]

And I think a lot of people would be feeling different about the situation if she wasn't a psych pt. There's nothing wrong with clicking with a pt, or finding yourself attracted to someone. What you do with those feelings however, can be very detrimental to yourself and the pt.

I agree to a point; I even think hooking up with a former pt w/o psych issues should at least be given a time period; there is still the convalescence part of illness and that persons' focus should be more of a recovery and adjustment, depending on the illness, thus their focus would still be recovering, not necessarily dating or having a reminder of being ill or in the hospital.

[ShesanRN]

I can't see myself ever crossing this boundary; my career means too much to me. There are many more ways to find potential dates that won't put your career at risk.

[Stephalump]

I fell for a psych patient once, before I was a nurse. He was smart, funny, loyal, and kind. We had similar senses of humor and shared the same hobbies. It was one of those otherworldly instant connections when we first met. Like you've known that person for a thousand years. Serious stuff. He protected me multiple times when I was attacker by other patients, which only solidified our bond in a non-professional way.

He was also a heroine addict.

I think he thought I could save him. I know I thought I could.

Nothing ever inappropriate happened. We were both always on our best behavior.

It tore me apart to let him go. I still think about him sometimes and wonder if he's still clean. The thought creeps into my head that, if he isn't, my presence in his life could be changed it, but I try to shove the thought away. If he was going to stay clean, he needed to do it for himself. And I never would've been able to forgive myself if a relationship with me would've caused a relapse...or something worse. It's been years now, and no one else has gotten to me like that.

Anyway, I'm putting this out there just in case anyone finds themselves in a situation like the OPs. The rules are pretty black and white in psych - no personal relationships with patients, current or former. But feelings are normal and not always easy to walk away from.

[Wrench Party]

NO.

Breach of ethics because you know her medical history, you shouldn't date former patients, and you took care of her during a vulnerable

time, especially when she was in the acute stage of mental illness.

Your first clue it was an issue may have been when you had to ask.

[Farawyn]

Stephalump, Thank you for putting that out there.

[organichombre, ADN, BSN, MSN, LPN, RN]

Really, you have to ask?

[xenogenetic]

Putting ethics aside, the way I make decisions would be to consider the worst possible scenario and then see if i could deal with that worst case scenario. What if things go poorly in your relationship and she turns on you and has a mean, vindictive streak to her and complains to your employer about you to get even. She could make up a million lies about you (he had sex with me on the unit; he raped me on hospital grounds; etc.) and drag your name thru the mud with your employer if she wanted to. She could bring the media into it and then your employer, even if they believe your story, might just prefer to fire you instead of keeping your story on the payroll and be a bad PR hot potato. Get a job in a women's retail store to meet women and at that job at least you would be meeting women constantly and be free date any of them that strike a fancy with you.

[gzussu]

Think about it.....

"I hit if off instantly with a person who was mentally unstable enough that she needed to be hospitalized"

Keep repeating that in your head. Maybe something will click.

[Davey Do]

I can't see myself ever crossing this boundary; my career means too much to me. There are many more ways to find potential dates that won't put your career at risk.

Yeah! Like a Bar or the Bus Station!