Dating a former patient

[thepsychtech]

First off, I work as a psychiatric technician - I am not a nurse.

Can I legally date a patient after she has been discharged from the psychiatric hospital in which I work? I cared for each of the patients under my care equally - she and I seemed to hit it off instantly, though. Would I be breaching confidentiality laws or the code of ethics by seeing her outside of the hospital now that she has been discharged?

[afterseason, ASN, RN]

At my facility, there is a 2 year period that must pass before an outside relationship is considered legally okay. However, even then, HR has made it VERY clear that no matter the time-frame, dating a former patient would be HIGHLY frowned upon by the facility. You need to check with your own company policies.

That being said, I think this is a bad idea. Unethical, for starters. And as others have said, this girl clearly has other, more important issues to deal with. If you actually care for her, you'll do what's in her best interest.

[Whispera, MSN, RN]

Please don't do it.

Just because she's been discharged, doesn't mean she is all ok. Depending on what her illness is, your life could be turned upside down by what she goes through. Those of us with family and friends with psychiatric disorders can't get away from those we love who are ill, but you don't need to get into something that could be hurtful, emotionally, to you.

Also, when you were her caregiver, whether you realize it or not, you had a position of power over her. If you get into a relationship with her, that position isn't gone. She may not respond to you the same way she would to someone who's her peer. The relationship could be a bit tangled due to that.

Where I've worked, there have been rules about no contact for at least 6 months. This includes any contact, not just dating. It's meant to prevent problems that a change from caregiver/client to the other sort of relationship can develop.

Please review the concept of transference/countertransference, both for what you're going through now, and for future times with other patients. A patient is not someone you should be thinking of as someone significant in your personal life, while the person is your patient, and afterwards, if the caregiving part is what lead to the other part. It's contrary to the psychiatric helping relationship, and twists objectivity in both you and the patient/former patient.

[Stephalump]

Often times mental illness can stem from underlying needs not being properly met. The affection and love of a significant other can greatly alleviate the struggles one is having.

.....no. Just no. This kind of thought process is exactly WHY these relationships are doomed from the beginning.

That pervasive idea that we can "save" someone or "fix" them with our love.

[guest769224]

.....no. Just no.

How do you figure?

[Stephalump]

How do you figure?

People in inpatient psych generally have deep seated issues, or they wouldn't be there.

People don't have severe major depression, schizophrenia, bpd, bipolar disorder, ptsd, WHATEVER, because they haven't had the love of a good man or woman. They're there because they need professional help.

On the other side of the coin (our side), we can't get pulled into the idea that we're the white knight a patient needs to be whole. That's how we get used, abused, burn out, or hurt are patients.

Look up stories of staff dating psych patients. There have been suicides, murders, return hospitalizations, and claims of rape and abuse.

[guest769224]

Ok sure. I would definitely agree with you on those. I stated a relationship has potential to help some of hose conditions. It could be considered support, in addition to other benefits.

Those type of people need personal support. No, it likely won't solve everything, but I disagree with the sentiment that it is 100% the wrong choice. Relationships are a form of therapy.

[Stephalump]

I agree that they need support and relationships are important. 100%.

But what are we signing up to do? Be a source of professional support? Or a source of personal support? Dual roles rarely work - so many blurred lines.

[caliotter3]

I do not think this would be wise on your part.

[OrganizedChaos, LVN]

I remember a post similar to this where a medical professional wanted to date someone they took care of in an inpatient psych facility. The general consensus was no, just like now. I don't think dating someone will fix them. I have tried to date & fix men before & that never works. There are usual deeper issues they need to work out & if they don't want to work it out, you can't fix them.

[CrunchRN, ADN, RN]

I didn't read all these replies, but here goes:

Don't do it! Dating any patient at any time is skating on thin ice, but dating a former psych patient is career homicide.

[Karou]

No. It crosses way too many ethical boundaries and is entirely inappropriate. It could also cost you your job.

[LadyFree28, BSN, LPN, RN]

I remember a post similar to this where a medical professional wanted to date someone they took care of in an inpatient psych facility. The general consensus was no, just like now. I don't think dating someone will fix them. I have tried to date & fix men before & that never works. There are usual deeper issues they need to work out & if they don't want to work it out, you can't fix them.

I remember that particular thread...I thought that this was a resurrection thread!

OP, I'm going to echo the sentiments of those who said no, for all the reasons that were stated.

Regardless of your status if not being a nurse, you were a caregiver on a healthcare team engaging with someone in a vulnerable position; that doesn't let you off the hook; you were there, you were aware of her health history, you had interaction in the therapeutic process.

This individual needs to have the chance to continue a therapeutic process and healing; it wouldn't be helpful to become involved when their focus will be on making sure she remains healthy and improving her coping skills and any other mechanisms she needs to help her mental health.

It's just not a good idea.