Dating Coworkers

WinterLilac · Jun 19, 2016

OP, your post made me chuckle. I like the way you write!

As everyone else has said, be mature if she knocks you back or the relationship goes pear-shaped. Maybe if you do hook up you can both agree to be civil at work if things don't work out.

I've had relationships at work in the past however at this job my manager has banned employees fraternising. That's if she found out :cat:

floridaRN38 · Jun 19, 2016

There are a few couples in my ER that actually got married. The majority of them all "date" each other and move on. I always say Don't EAT WHERE YOU ****. Been there done that

hawaiicarl, BSN, RN · Jun 19, 2016

I have seen both ends of the spectrum where I work. I have seen couples date, and get happily married. I have seen a Dr. get served with a TRO for lying in the hallway crying when things didn't work out well. All up to how mature you two are.

Cheers

Wrench Party · Jun 19, 2016

Well...obviously, be careful to not poop where you eat, but I'm barely one to talk. I met my husband through a non-profit we've done for a decade, and we were roommates for awhile before we edged into couple territory. Most people still fall down when they find out we're together, much less married.

Be an adult about it and it shouldn't be an issue.

Remy Ox · Jun 20, 2016

When I saw this title of your story I thought NO don't date coworkers, lol! I have read everything now. Very cute, I think you two have a good connection. You will know what is the best decision. If you are concerned, give it time. Get to know her more. You don't have to say yes or no at this time.

I met my husband in Ontario. I was studying abroad there and he was also. I am from Portugal he is from America. We flirted a lot and made a good friendship. I was in love with him for length of time before I told him! We both felt the same. We were in love but scared. He was moving back to U.S. and I was already home sick and I thought it wouldn't last. I waited until I realize yes theres fear but love is so strong sometimes we cannot let the one get away. We are married now and I live in America with him. I am happy and I took so much risk but it was worth all of it! :inlove:

Sydryth, ASN, RN · Jun 20, 2016

I met my wife working together in the same ER. We have been married 7 years now and are still as happy as when we first got together. Now granted we were both same level nurses so didn't have the risk of subordination with delegating task. Like you would as a nurse delegating to a CNA, so more than likely there is a HR policy against that. My wife and I could work together as long as one of us are not in a position above the other, ex: neither one of us could be charge nurse for that shift. I do know several couples that have met working together, and I also know some that have switched jobs because of dating someone that worked with that didn't work out. However, life is short and she may ultimately be the ONE! So if you think she is worth it go for it, just be careful of the subordination clause

On a side note me and my wife no longer work at the same facility, because she said it made her jealous when others would causally flirt with me. Don't tell her, but I felt the same way when the roles were reversed, lol!

Horseshoe, BSN, RN · Jun 20, 2016

*GASP!* Say it ain't so!
No, really. What's your take on it?
Some have a golden rule: don't do it. Other coworkers are married to each other.
I had a bad experience asking a coworker out in the past, BUT, in hindsight, it turns out she's seven shades of crazy. According to her friends she's crazy (more than usual ladies[i KID, I KID!!!])
So I've got this other lady I'm working with. A fellow CNA. Wonderful, friendly, silly, sweet personality. Usually wants to talk with me, wants me to talk with her after work about how my day went. Has a habit of bumping/walking into me at least four times, and sometimes I don't think it's on accident. She's goofy, and keeps tapping my side/arms, and frequently pulls me over to show me whats on her phone. She's making beautiful jewelry made of resin and the shedded skin of her lizard (it's actually quite nice-looking).
I'm a big, muscular-y guy into working out and nursing. And I'm shy as all hell. What holds me back is the apprehension of dating a coworker. I'm cool, but I have no flipping idea how a coworker would react if we dated but, say, it went south. She has such a pretty soul (which is what I find attractive), but I don't know if I should take the risk. If she said yes and doesn't behave psycho (I have seen people attacked with plates), then that would be awesome. With all this working out I don't feel scared of asking her: just worried what could happen.
Need to hear your take on this please.

Well, you don't know how she'd take it if you dated and it "went South." It could be bad, very bad. That's why it's a common cautionary tale.

I met my DH at work in a commercial real estate firm. I had applied there intending only to work a year. 8 months into my year, we finally succumbed and started dating. I was out of there within my time frame, because we both knew it would be a mistake to keep working together, whether we did or didn't stay together.

I don't regret working there, I don't regret meeting my husband, and I don't regret at all my decision to leave.

Date your coworker at your peril. Says the woman married 27 years to her DH.

OrganizedChaos, LVN · Jun 20, 2016

Oh, I have to add that I also met my DH at a treatment facility for teens. He was a counselor & I was a nurse. We have been together 5 years, married for 2 & have a beautiful son together.

Ruby Vee, BSN · Jun 20, 2016

I met my wife working together in the same ER. We have been married 7 years now and are still as happy as when we first got together. Now granted we were both same level nurses so didn't have the risk of subordination with delegating task. Like you would as a nurse delegating to a CNA, so more than likely there is a HR policy against that. My wife and I could work together as long as one of us are not in a position above the other, ex: neither one of us could be charge nurse for that shift. I do know several couples that have met working together, and I also know some that have switched jobs because of dating someone that worked with that didn't work out. However, life is short and she may ultimately be the ONE! So if you think she is worth it go for it, just be careful of the subordination clause
On a side note me and my wife no longer work at the same facility, because she said it made her jealous when others would causally flirt with me. Don't tell her, but I felt the same way when the roles were reversed, lol!

I've seen nurses in relationships where one supervised the other, and in every case it looked really bad to others. One assistant nurse manager in charge of scheduling made sure his wife always got the schedule she wanted, regardless of weekend and holiday requirements. Someone else always had to pick up her slack. Another woman I worked with would disappear into her husband's office (to which she had a key) and hide for hours at a time. Yet another woman would threaten other nurses with "I'll tell my husband to give you a bad evaluation" when there were disagreements with her at work. (There were always disagreements -- she didn't think she should have to take as many patients as everyone else, answer call lights or deal with the phone.). And one guy, whose wife was a nurse practitioner where we worked, would write his own orders and get his wife to sign them.

The part that made me laugh, though, is the comment about flirting. My husband was a notorious flirt and dated a LOT of women before we got together. I got tired of the conversation that started with "Ruby Vee? Are you related to Matt Vee, because I used to date him."

We were so discreet at work that even after we were engaged and open about our relationship some of our colleagues thought it was just a coincidence that we both got married in the same city halfway across the country on the same day. On at least two occasions, once before and once after our wedding, physicians asked me "You and Matt seem like good friends -- is he dating anyone?" And one insisted that she was certain I must be wrong about him getting married next week because "If Matty were getting married, he would have told ME."

Been there,done that, ASN, RN · Jun 21, 2016

You can date anyone you choose to. However it turns out is no one's business.

Just keep it on a professional level while you two are at work.

Best of luck, go for it! :up:

manicholasnp · Jun 22, 2016

Maybe the first place to start is ask her a "hypothetical" question about her feelings on co-workers dating. You may even give an example of a couple you know who work together and her thoughts on that. Then if you get a positive response ask her if she would like to get together after work and even couch it as just to get to know each other better. Then you can talk about a potential relationship and work on some ground rules of keeping things professional at work. It's tough to discuss the what if it first work out as nobody wants to think that but maybe just talk about the possibility as you would both like to keep your jobs! Also. Just know there are many women who come across this way but have no interest in you.

Cw25 · Jun 23, 2016

I have only on suggestion... Go back and read your entry... It's a story for "dear Abby" not all nurses.... Who gives a **** about your love life, really be real...