Dating Coworkers

[Wake88]

*GASP!* Say it ain't so!

No, really. What's your take on it?

Some have a golden rule: don't do it. Other coworkers are married to each other.

I had a bad experience asking a coworker out in the past, BUT, in hindsight, it turns out she's seven shades of crazy. According to her friends she's crazy (more than usual ladies[i KID, I KID!!!])

So I've got this other lady I'm working with. A fellow CNA. Wonderful, friendly, silly, sweet personality. Usually wants to talk with me, wants me to talk with her after work about how my day went. Has a habit of bumping/walking into me at least four times, and sometimes I don't think it's on accident. She's goofy, and keeps tapping my side/arms, and frequently pulls me over to show me whats on her phone. She's making beautiful jewelry made of resin and the shedded skin of her lizard (it's actually quite nice-looking).

I'm a big, muscular-y guy into working out and nursing. And I'm shy as all hell. What holds me back is the apprehension of dating a coworker. I'm cool, but I have no flipping idea how a coworker would react if we dated but, say, it went south. She has such a pretty soul (which is what I find attractive), but I don't know if I should take the risk. If she said yes and doesn't behave psycho (I have seen people attacked with plates), then that would be awesome. With all this working out I don't feel scared of asking her: just worried what could happen.

Need to hear your take on this please.

[jadelpn, LPN, EMT-B]

Boundaries are a good thing. Nothing wrong with being friends. But dating gets soooooo messy.

And to find out a co-worker you date is 50 shades of crazed is NOT when you all have to take care of people together.

That could get really messed up pretty quickly.....

And how someone is at work, doesn't always transfer to outside of work....

[OrganizedChaos, LVN]

I have only on suggestion... Go back and read your entry... It's a story for "dear Abby" not all nurses.... Who gives a **** about your love life, really be real...

Keep trollin, trollin', trollin', trollin'...

[Grumpleweed]

I've never dated a co-worker, but it's common where I've worked. Only in one case has it gone badly pear shaped. As in any potential dating situation there are both opportunities and risks that need to be weighed up.

[SmilingBluEyes]

Nope not worth the drama.

[idialyze, BSN, RN]

I have only on suggestion... Go back and read your entry... It's a story for "dear Abby" not all nurses.... Who gives a **** about your love life, really be real...[/quote

Who urinated in your cereal this morning? That was just plain uncalled for

[Penelope_Pitstop, BSN, RN]

As a rule, don't crap where you eat.

And if you date multiple doctors don't think that just because they're in different specialties they won't run into each other. Advice from a friend.

[LadyFree28, BSN, LPN, RN]

I've known people who are dating and worked together; one couple ended up leaving and working somewhere else in different departments, another got married and work professionally as far as I seen.

As for me?

I am with someone with a entirely different career, and it works for me.

I don't crap where I eat.

[applesxoranges, BSN, RN]

In general, I recommend against it in any field. It's hot gossip. It's okay if it is different floors.

[Conqueror+, BSN, RN]

If you like her enough to give up your job for her, go for it !

[1nursetotherrescue]

my husband and I met in the workplace. we are very private people, I think that's the key. I saw a lot of coworkers dating each other and every corner you turn theyre hugged up or kissing. then they break up a few months later, and each person is dating a new coworker...yikes now that I think about it, things were like a college campus lol

btw it was a maximum security prison

[NeoJS]

Don't dip your pen in the company ink. I had a bad situation with dating a coworker and I told myself never again. A very short time later when I started nursing school there was a girl coming onto me pretty hard, texting me and kept talking about movies she wanted to see but had no one to go with. I really wanted to go out with her, but after my previous experience, I weighed the fact that I would be with her in the program for two years, possibly doing clinicals with her and it just didn't seem worth the risk. In hindsight I do wish that maybe I had discussed my concerns with her rather than just blowing her off.

I feel like you really have to look at yourself in these situations. While this girl might be way into you, 9/10 times she will pull away when you ask her out, especially if you come on too strong--which usually happens because it isn't going to come out like you've reheorificed in your head.

This is where things get tricky. Are you cool enough to just brush it off if she turns you down initially? Just getting shot down can really affect your work relationship. A lot of girls like some pursuing, so how you navigate here is key. You have to be able to take a potential no with stride, and possibly pursue her again, but it's such a slippery slope in a work environment it really isn't worth the risk. Imagine if she said no, how would you feel? I'm sure you would be a little paranoid that she might be running around work "omg, such and so asked me out!"

If anything, just test the waters. I wouldn't full on ask her out, but maybe bring up a movie or event you want to go to and say "but none of my friends want to go." Maybe even follow up by asking her if she's working that day, or when her next day off. She should get the hint. Not that I think she'll jump up and say "let's go!" but you should be able to see how she reacts to you after this.

Keep in mind that a lot of women can come across like they have an interest in you. Plus there is the whole "work husband" or "work wife" thing. I've had married women with kids be flirty, touchy with me at work. But that isn't a road I want to go down. As long as it isn't inappropriate, I'll usually joke or flirt a little back, and just chalk it up to the "work husband" thing and leave it at that.

If you don't go for it, I think you'll regret it later. Just evaluate yourself I'd say and proceed with caution.

P.S. I've been a lurker for years, but this thread made me create an account.

[NeoJS]

Also, even if you know her schedule by heart, don't say "I looked on Kronos and saw we both have this day off..." You will set her creep alarms off.