cruelest thing I heard a nurse say

Published

A few years ago the cruelest thing I heard a nurse say to a patient was:

PATIENT: "If I were thirty years younger I would ask you out on a date"

NURSE: "You are half a man, I would have to say no"

(The patient was an amputee) That is just mean. He laughed but I know it must have really hurt him. I couldn't think of anything to say to make this situation better.

How about you, what is the cruelest thing you have heard?

There are two nasty things that I have heard that were downright cruel.

One nurse was constantly saying "Well no one died..." when anyone called her on not doing her work. In one case a guy did die, and she was at fault for that one.

The other? I had another nurse say to me "Oh you couldn't possibly be a nurse, you look like you're 16. Are you just here to place dress up?" (I am 29 years old, and while I look young, this was extremely insulting and hateful. She knew it when she said it too.)

Up Vote Up Vote ×
If I could take away this thread I would. It seems as though that a lot of nurses have opinions and are replying to it.

Not so fast.

Bringing attention to the fact that cruelty (a uniquely human trait) has no place in the care of the infirmed and their loved ones, is a worthy subject for discussion.

Can a Nurse (or anyone) be cruel without overtly attempting to be so? Consider this single scenario and ask yourself the likelyhood of it having been repeated countless times.

Somewhere, at sometime, someone was unessessarily denied access (simply for convenience reasons) for visitation in the final moments of life, and a loved one died alone surrounded by strangers.

Even in the ICU, to the extent possible, I will go out of my way to try and prevent that from happening, nor will I allow someone to die restrained or soiled.

No Work67 I disagree, your thread has value.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in ICU, PICU, School Nursing, Case Mgt.
Good Lord Vikingkitten what an OTT reaction that was from your wife!

How did she know that this patient hadn't been swearing and cussing at the nurses non-stop? Maybe the patient had been using racist insults. You had no way of knowing.

Sure the remark made by the nurse is unprofessional to say the least but get both sides of the story before you go ruining someone's career because of an overheard comment that may well be out of context.

I agree entirely iNurseUK--

We may be professionals and all that stuff...but we do not need to take blatant abuse from ANYONE...

I myself have "gently" told rude patients that they would still get good care but maybe with a change of attitude they would get good care with a very pleasant nurse.

I have also seen Doctors tell patients to change their attitude or they would not treat them anymore...

Just sayin,

s

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Plastics. General Surgery. ITU. Oncology.

It is these judgemental and self-satisfied people that the nursing profession should fear.

If they are so quick to condemn a colleague then I dread to think how they are with patients.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Med/Surg, Ortho, ASC.
I remember a patient who was dying in hospice. She specifically told everyone that she absolutely positively did not ever want to have a foley catheter put in her.:eek: When she was actively dying one of the nurses said to her "Are you sure you don't want a foley catheter put in?" I thought that was very disrespectful to even suggest it since the patient had been very adamant that she did not ever want a foley catheter put in.

I don't consider this rude at all. It was courageous and absolutely correct for that nurse to ask the patient if she had changed her mind about a Foley catheter.

Many times our preconceived notions change. For all we know, that patient might have been in increased pain due to bladder pressure that she could never have anticipated. There was a good chance that she might have welcomed the pressure relief.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Trauma Surgery, Nursing Management.

Oh, I have a doozy-this one still makes me angry. I was in pre-op looking over a patient's chart before we brought them back to the OR. The pre-op area is only separated by curtains and I overheard a nurse (who had her voice raised, so I couldn't help but hear her) telling a patient, "Well, this is a teaching hospital, and we use residents. I am sorry that you are uncomfortable with this, but that's just the way it is. YOU chose this hospital, and you could have gone to another one, so you have to just DEAL." Another nurse was standing next to me and we just looked at each other with our jaws dropped. As I was walking by the curtain, I saw that the patient was a teenager getting ready to have a huge surgical procedure. She was in tears and her mother was trying to console her.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Pediatrics.

This wasn't necessarily purposely cruel, but very thoughtless. A new patient, teenager there for an unrelated diagnosis had some obvious scarring on his face. It turned out he'd been in a serious car accident several months prior. It was my patient and another nurse was in there to help me admit him. She asked what happened, father told us, she then said, peering at his face, "Wow, you really got messed up, didn't you?" I wanted to sink through the floor. It may not sound like that bad on the surface looking at it written out, but it was the way she said it and the fact that the patient had already had plastic surgery several months before to repair some of the injuries.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
I don't consider this rude at all. It was courageous and absolutely correct for that nurse to ask the patient if she had changed her mind about a Foley catheter.

Many times our preconceived notions change. For all we know, that patient might have been in increased pain due to bladder pressure that she could never have anticipated. There was a good chance that she might have welcomed the pressure relief.

The patient became visibly upset when the nurse asked her if she had changed her mind.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Med/Surg, Ortho, ASC.
The patient became visibly upset when the nurse asked her if she had changed her mind.

Be that as it may, it was a responsible and caring question on the part of the nurse.

Far from a cruelty, as was presented.

Blackcat99, I am guessing that you are not a nurse and do not have a nursing perspective from which to view this episode.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Health Information Management.

It sounds like many of these moments may be a case of cruelty being in the eye of the beholder. What might seem cruel to an outsider or someone unfamiliar with the circumstances could be absolutely appropriate with more information or view of body language, etc.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Be that as it may, it was a responsible and caring question on the part of the nurse.

Far from a cruelty, as was presented.

Blackcat99, I am guessing that you are not a nurse and do not have a nursing perspective from which to view this episode.

You guessed wrong. I have been an LPN for many many years. Anyway, you are entitled to your opinion and I am entitled to my opinion.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Trauma Surgery, Nursing Management.
It sounds like many of these moments may be a case of cruelty being in the eye of the beholder. What might seem cruel to an outsider or someone unfamiliar with the circumstances could be absolutely appropriate with more information or view of body language, etc.

True, but sooooo not true in my case scenario.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
+ Join the Discussion