cruelest thing I heard a nurse say

[work67]

A few years ago the cruelest thing I heard a nurse say to a patient was:

PATIENT: "If I were thirty years younger I would ask you out on a date"

NURSE: "You are half a man, I would have to say no"

(The patient was an amputee) That is just mean. He laughed but I know it must have really hurt him. I couldn't think of anything to say to make this situation better.

How about you, what is the cruelest thing you have heard?

[MassED, BSN, RN]

probably 90% of the things we say to each other (in joking) about patients is cruel. Dark humor, we all have it, or at least in the ER, I should say.... It's a survival tool. Now to SAY something just outright rude to a patient is reserved solely for those moments when the person is usually high/drunk and so abusive to me that I'll make a comment or two (uttered less than a whisper, but definitely within ear shot of said abuser). It should NEVER get to that, ever, but there are those instances, though rare.....

[MassED, BSN, RN]

sticking to the topic..

I work on a med/surg floor. we had a long term patient there. meaning, he would not leave. no insurance and he was homeless. can't just kick him to the street. refusing medical treatment for his original problem. etc etc. anyway, he gained somewhere between 50-75 lbs. just sitting in bed eating and taking morphine all day. one of the nurses, who isn't a nice person overall, took a mirror and told the patient to look at himself. look at what he became. I thought cruel and bold at the same time.

sounds like it might have been an appropriate action for that nurse to take, though bold, but incredibly necessary if he was homeless and not making any effort to help himself. That would get old quickly.

[MassED, BSN, RN]

Having a friend that's dating a guy without an arm/eye from service overseas- he would've thought that joke was hilarious. I suppose it is all about the nurse/pt relationship, and how fresh his injuries are.

completely. You have to "know your audience" before making a remark. What I might remark to a jerk of an alcoholic who was repeatedly demanding silly things from me, versus a demanding patient who was much much older, just diagnosed with Cancer.... different patients require different approaches.

Compassion to be carefully distributed....

haaa!!

[MassED, BSN, RN]

The rudest thing I ever heard a nurse say was to me, during my first induced labor when the contractions were coming every minute and lasting the entire time: "Now, you be quiet! It's not necessary to be making all that noise." OK, my pain level was a 15/10 and they didn't even have epidurals in those days, so I was moaning rather loudly.....in fact, sometimes I screamed. But for this sour-faced, old nurse to get in my face like that was adding insult to injury.

Fortunately for all concerned, it was also the first time I ever knew my mother to stick up for me. She stood right up from her chair by my bedside, drew herself up to her full five-feet-six, and said, "Well, it may not be necessary to you, but it DAMN sure is to her. Now get out of here and find my daughter another nurse!!"

Never saw that woman again. In fact, the nurse who replaced her turned out to be my OB nurse for the next two kids as well, and a sweetheart she was indeed.

funny, my OB experience with my labor influenced my decision to become a nurse. Not that they were mean, but that they tried so many things to soothe me and none of them worked. No one listened to me. They thought they knew what was best, but when you placed a hand to rub my back during my induced, non pain medication, Pitocin labor, I could have gnawed her hand off. Bless OB nurses!! I couldn't deal with a woman who had to deal with the pain and you had to deal with not being able to DEAL with it!!

[MassED, BSN, RN]

this from a physician: "can we get a greenpeace consult?" worse, he said it right in front of the patient who was admittedly obese, the nurse (also obese) and the entire team of physicians on rounds. no one thought it was funny.

holy crap!!! i feel the awkwardness!!!

[lucya]

agree with scoot!

[TDCHIM]

this from a physician: "can we get a greenpeace consult?" worse, he said it right in front of the patient who was admittedly obese, the nurse (also obese) and the entire team of physicians on rounds. no one thought it was funny.

oh ruby, that's just awful! my insides are snaking around and tying themselves into knots just picturing it! did anyone call the jerk out on his unbelievably inappropriate comment?

@afrocentricrn: that's actually not the first time i've heard of a nurse making such a comment, sad to say. i had a friend in college (my first time around) who was raped under similar circumstances, and she ended up at the small county hospital near campus. she told me afterward that a nurse told her something to the effect of maybe she'd think twice before partying again, that she was supposed to be going to school and not going out drinking. we attended a university in a pretty conservative area, but i was still shocked to the core. my friend was so numb at the time she didn't say anything about it to anyone at the hospital.

[Blackcat99]

I remember a patient who was dying in hospice. She specifically told everyone that she absolutely positively did not ever want to have a foley catheter put in her. When she was actively dying one of the nurses said to her "Are you sure you don't want a foley catheter put in?" I thought that was very disrespectful to even suggest it since the patient had been very adamant that she did not ever want a foley catheter put in.

[JDZ344]

I had SANE training last week and heard from a rape survivor. This survivor was raped by a guy she had met in a bar who drugged her drink. The survivor said that she went to the ER the next day to have a rape kit done and she said the nurse told her "maybe next time you shouldnt drink so much".

Can you imagine being raped and then have to relive the event by telling someone you thought would help you and they instead JUDGE you at a vulnerable time like that? I was FUMING in the inside!

Thats disgusting. That nurse needs to be hit with a clue by four. Because, of course, if you are drunk or dressed 'skanky' you desrve to be raped. I don't think I would be able to control myself if I heard anyone say anything like that to somebody. Geez.

[JDZ344]

Some of these stories are so sad

[llg, PhD, RN]

I notice that the OP is a new member with only a couple of posts. I wonder what his/her motive is for starting this thread.

[work67]

If I could take away this thread I would. It seems as though that a lot of nurses have opinions and are replying to it.

To luvthegsp it isn't a lie it was a real thing that happened in front of about 12 patients and staff at a dialysis center.