Coworker quit/fired! Should we know what happened or not?

[UM Review RN, ASN, RN]

Recently a longtime coworker nurse whom I greatly admired and respected quit without notice. Or she was terminated.

We don't know. But the rumors are flying.

It got me thinking: Do coworkers have a right to know why a beloved coworker is suddenly "no longer employed" at a facility?

I know that all facilities have a "no talk" rule. But should they?

Does a policy like that really stop the rumor mill? Or does it just make the stories wilder?

Answer the poll, then tell us what you think.

[Kwality]

I don't think it's anyone besides the worker and supervisor why they are no longer there. People are going to assume what they want, but it doesn't mean they are entitled to know why. Would they want someone to know if they were fired? They could have left for a number of reasons. Fired or not

[suzanne4, RN]

Sorry, but it is no one elses business, and unless the former co-worker decides to share, the reason is off limits to you.

It is actually illegal for your manager to even share this with you. Privacy violations.

[chris_at_lucas_RN, RN]

Our facility always trumps up a good story if it was someone in a position of authority. A supervisor brought in from another state "thought she might be called up by the National Guard." A pharmacist we really liked who suddenly wasn't there anymore "had pressing family business." And the IS manager who was terrific just suddenly wasn't there anymore, and the announcement added "we wish her well."

Right.

I do think it is one's own business and if one wants to tell one's business that should be one's business also.

Makes me wonder about a (psych) facility that lies about stuff though....

They didn't tell us about the two nurses and two techs who left suddenly after there was a significant error in the narc count on their unit (the only one that isn't on EMAR). Funny thing though, the rumor mill said they weren't terminated because their drug tests were positive for the missing meds (everybody got tested over there). They got terminated because, in the course of that test, they were positive for other stuff.

I just keep putting one foot in front of the other, do my job and (pretty much) mind my own business. That's a big enough task for the likes of me....

[llg, PhD, RN]

I guess the key word in the question is " 'right' to know." When you get into a consideration of legal rights, that can change things.

I chose the "sometimes" response for the following reasons:

In most cases, I think the quitting/firing is just between the person and the employer and the legal privacy issues take precedence over other people's curiosity. However, I can imagine cases in which it would be OK to say something and the best thing to do. For example ...

Let's say someone had a minor problem at work that was common knowledge. That person then voluntarily resigns for completely different reasons. However, the rumor mill kicks in and everybody gets all upset and worried that the person was fired because of that little problem. I don't think there is anything wrong with the administration saying something like, "Hey guys, calm down. She was not fired. She resigned for personal reasons that have nothing to do with that little problem. ... etc." I don't think such a statement in such a circumstance violates the person's privacy in a way that would be legally or morally questionable.

Because of such possibilities, I voted for the "sometimes" response.

llg

[DutchgirlRN, ASN, RN]

If the nurse had feelings for co-workers she would likely have contacted someone to let them know she had quit. Surely someone would have be close enough to confide in if she had been fired. Either way, the rumor mill is just going to have to fly because it's illegal for management to spill the beans.

When I took my sudden leave the rumor mill started immediately because my manager had simply put a line through my schedule. I contacted several co-workers and explained to them that I was burnt out and needed a break rather than just quit on the spot. I'd rather them know the truth than have rumors run wild. I hope somebody hears something from her either way.

[rn/writer, RN]

Recently a longtime coworker nurse whom I greatly admired and respected quit without notice. Or she was terminated.

We don't know. But the rumors are flying.

It got me thinking: Do coworkers have a right to know why a beloved coworker is suddenly "no longer employed" at a facility?

I know that all facilities have a "no talk" rule. But should they?

Does a policy like that really stop the rumor mill? Or does it just make the stories wilder?

Answer the poll, then tell us what you think.

Any information regarding her departure HAS to come from her.

That said, it can be very frustrating when people just disappear without explanation. But what are the alternatives? If she was terminated, disclosing the particulars is a violation of her privacy and is illegal. Even with one of those "mutual" decisions (resign rather than be fired), the privacy obligation still exists.

It seems unlikely that she left completely of her own volition. Most people announce their intentions and allow their co-workers a chance to say goodbye. If she left against her will, she's probably feeling pretty awful. Especially if she didn't see it coming. Especially with it happening at this time of year.

She may be too embarrassed, depressed, hurt, stunned, etc. to even think of contacting any of her co-workers right now. She may also be concerned that bad things were said about her and not want to take a chance on getting a negative reaction. But, since you've known her for a long time, I don't think it would be out of line for you to give her a call to say that you will miss her and you hope that she is okay. She can then reveal the circumstances if she chooses. If not, at least she will know that someone cares and that her absence will make a difference.

If she doesn't feel that a call at home is a "fishing expedition" for gory details (and you don't strike me as the kind of person who would do that), she might really be grateful for some caring and concern during this rough patch. Maybe in a few weeks (after the initial shock has worn off) you and your co-workers could take her out to lunch or send her a card and a small gift to let her know she was appreciated on the unit.

To me, it wouldn't be just losing the job, but losing (and losing face with) the friends that were a part of it. If you can let her know that the friends still care, that might give her a much-needed boost during a dark time.

Then again, some people just want to crawl into a hole and pull it in after themselves and they are NOT receptive to personal overtures.

You can't predict the outcome, but you can make the first move. Either way, you'll feel better for having made the attempt.

I wish you--and your former co-worker--the best.

[Monica RN,BSN]

I was recently ;et go from my position with noother explanation except that" I have too many friends th ere." WHAT!!?? I say I hope you have better reason, asnswer was "no". In florida they do not need a reason, none what so ever... so as it turns out, the ADm wanted his friend in my position.. so be it.. an dnow she has since resigned because it was to hard for her. (DON position)

Rumors flew as they do, and it was even stated I was caught having sex with anemployee on the job.. how ridiculous is that.. first I was the DON,and second, I have alot more sense than that.. so if that was the basis, I was fired on someone's ridiculous rumor... it is not fair. Yes, I Am still very P.O'd over that one... but life goes on, and I will find a new job eventually. I have been working as a floor nurse for last 6 weeks and I am truly miserable. I am not floor nurse material... so it seems.. but I do it because I have to, noother options out there at the moment. I think that in some cases the truth should be told to avoid the craziness that the rumor mill will produce, as in my case.

Have a great day.

[VivaLasViejas, ASN, RN]

Since I'm in this position myself at the present time, I find this discussion very interesting, to say the least. I've been so wrapped up in my own feelings that I honestly haven't given much thought to the effect my resignation might be having on my friends and co-workers.

Although I quit of my own volition, the suddenness of it had to have made people wonder if I was, indeed, fired. There'd been concerns about my performance (well DUH, I was burned out!); I was making careless mistakes and not following up on things that didn't really affect patient care, but they did make things tough on the nurses who followed me, so it wasn't like nobody knew I was in trouble. Although I never got written up, never even received an official verbal warning, only the management and I know that, so maybe I'd best put in an appearance soon and quash any rumors that may be going around.........this is a small town, and bad news travels fast.

Thanks to the OP for bringing up the subject!

[RosesrReder, BSN, MSN, RN]

No, it's personal business. If the employee wants to let anyone know they can themselves.

[UM Review RN, ASN, RN]

The reason I posed this question is because although I understand that it's really supposed to be a private matter between the employee and management, very often it is not at all private.

Some of my friends were so shocked thinking that she was terminated, that now they're nervous that they're next.

Knowing this person as we do, most of us think it was most likely a matter of being told to do something or take on responsibilities that were too much for the position/salary offered, or several other scenarios that would make even the most seasoned of us quit on the spot.

And in that case, I think that our fears are warranted--everyone has a breaking point, after all. We've all seen, but rarely talk about, the nurse who's been targeted for speaking up, for being "too old," and the ones who management will pile more and more work on until they finally quit.

We know about it, we've seen it, we just don't talk about it. We might be next. So we try to keep quiet and fly under the radar.

It's a good intimidation tactic, that policy of silence.

To my coworker--and others of you who have suddenly had to "leave"--if you "find" this nursing website and any of this applies to you, please know that you will be missed. We all enjoyed working with you and hope you find something better in the New Year.

The circumstances of your leaving do not in any way diiminish my respect for you as a nurse. You're an excellent nurse, and I--most of us--learned so much from you!

Please know that you have our sincere best wishes for your future endeavors.

~AngieO

[sjt9721, BSN, RN]

To my coworker--and others of you who have suddenly had to "leave"--if you "find" this nursing website and any of this applies to you, please know that you will be missed. We all enjoyed working with you and hope you find something better in the New Year.

The circumstances of your leaving do not in any way diiminish my respect for you as a nurse. You're an excellent nurse, and I--most of us--learned so much from you!

Please know that you have our sincere best wishes for your future endeavors.

~AngieO

Very nicely worded AngieO... :)