Coworker is Innappropriate

Nurses Professionalism

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What to do? I have worked in an area for about 6 months and LOVE it. Only problem is a coworker who for some reason is inappropriate to me. When I say inappropriate, I mean she is just plain rude to me. I am not sure what I have ever done to offend her. I do NOT allow her to walk all over me and this seems to escalate the situation. I am not disrespectful. She is about 20-25 years older than myself. She will be fine one minute and quite pleasant and then if you say something that is opposing her views, look out! I am not the type of person to add my 2 cents in when I just feel like it, but if I see a need to chime in on a situation when warranted I will. And this is when she gets upset with me. She has refused to help me when I was training and this is where it seemed to start. So I have put up with this for 6 months now and she will randomly go off at me. She has also made rude comments about how I do not need to get my BSN (when she overheard me asking supervisor about any kind of assistance for BSN programs) because whatever her opinions of not needing it were (which I do not believe she has her BSN). I know that another coworker has experienced dealing with that treatment as well. I feel I shouldn't confront her because I don't think she is going to listen to me at all. I do not think that would be the best move. One of my other coworkers the other day confronted me about how this person was acting toward me and I feel that if its become that bad that its noticeable to others than it needs to be addressed. So I actually discussed with my DON after everyone had left for the day so I could be discreet. I don't like to feel like I am "tattle-tailing" and that is what it feels like. I just told my DON the situations that had occurred and that they seemed to be escalating. My DON actually instructed me that she was happy that that came to discuss with her regarding this matter and to inform her of any future "run-in." Apparently this wasn't the first complaint. I just explained to my DON that I do not deserve to be treated that way and its inappropriate. My DON said she will be watching for behaviors but hard to catch as people change their tune when she is present. She did say I could ask this coworker if I there was something I had done to offend her (next time this happens). I am supposed to report to her the next event. Any advice on handling this situation? I work very closely with this person and I constantly hear this person talking inappropriately about other coworkers and then even our PATIENTS (which really upsets me). I don't feel like "talking it out" with this nurse will be the best decision (just based on the escalations from previous conversations). I just avoid her. What to do? Any advice is appreciated. Thanks!

Umm, why was klone's comments inappropriate? Hint: they weren't. She was trying to help you, and you were the one who turned on her.

Anyway, in my mind, if this other nurse wants to be a negative Nancy, just ignore her. She doesn't think there is any value to getting a BSN? Based on the lengthy discussions of BSNs on here, she is not alone in this view. Since that is the case, just ignore her and be confident in what you feel is the right thing.

I too don't see that as inappropriate, however i don't see klones comment helpful either! And the comments that followed it, certainly were not.

She was asking for advise regarding her work situation , which clearly was an emotive subject to her .

which was answered initially with 2 statements

1, Paragraphs are good,

Pointing out her grammatical errors . Yes, there good and make easier reading ,however, it was not that hard to read! It did not address the issue she was under. Unless she was planning to write a letter to her co worker.

2, You should of confronted the co worker first.

She cant jump in a time machine and erase that . Thats even if she wanted too! Given what she has said. Therefore none of this was helpful to her.

Now what followed that was people jumping on that bandwagon and they were rude !

Comments like "you cant run to your mummy'

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I too don't see that as inappropriate, however i don't see klones comment helpful either! And the comments that followed it, certainly were not.

She was asking for advise regarding her work situation , which clearly was an emotive subject to her .

which was answered initially with 2 statements

1, Paragraphs are good,

Pointing out her grammatical errors . Yes, there good and make easier reading ,however, it was not that hard to read! It did not address the issue she was under. Unless she was planning to write a letter to her co worker.

2, You should of confronted the co worker first.

She cant jump in a time machine and erase that . Thats even if she wanted too! Given what she has said. Therefore none of this was helpful to her.

Now what followed that was people jumping on that bandwagon and they were rude !

Comments like "you cant run to your mummy'

This pretty much the way I read the thread and had a laugh at the so helpful comments. Then the back slaps. LOL! I didn't realize she was writing a term paper and needed writing help. I just call those kinds of post thread jumpers. Cause they get the thread off topic and argumentative.

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If other nurses all ready know what she is like, then there isn't anything to report. Either it is a personality issue, and that isn't going to change. Or a personal issue and she isn't dealing with it well. If you can not talk to her about it, then what your looking for is the kind of advice on how to deal with her one on one without loosing your cool, or feeling like a rug. You can not make people like you or change their behaviors. You can only deal with your own.

After dealing with her, walk way thinking "Wow" and let it go.

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Specializes in Emergency, Telemetry, Transplant.

1, Paragraphs are good,

Pointing out her grammatical errors .

2, You should of confronted the co worker first.

1. This is not a grammatical error that is being pointed out. It is much much easier to read if it is broken into paragraphs. Maybe the message could have been delivered in a better way, but it was a comment that had to be made.

2. I agree that "confront" is not the best word. To me, the word confront conjures up the the image of being confronted in a dark alley. But the interesting though about it…klone never used the word "confront" in that post (in fact, she clarified what she meant in later posts). If the OP found the advice unhelpful to her, so be it, that is her opinion. However, klone was trying to help, and the post was in no way negative (in my opinion anyway). Plus, again, in my opinion, the best was the handle this other nurse it to ignore her. If the OP wants to get a BSN, work to get a BSN. If this other nurse wants to be cynical about it--that it her problem and her issue to deal with!

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1. This is not a grammatical error that is being pointed out. It is much much easier to read if it is broken into paragraphs. Maybe the message could have been delivered in a better way, but it was a comment that had to be made.

2. I agree that "confront" is not the best word. To me, the word confront conjures up the the image of being confronted in a dark alley. But the interesting though about it...klone never used the word "confront" in that post (in fact, she clarified what she meant in later posts). If the OP found the advice unhelpful to her, so be it, that is her opinion. However, klone was trying to help, and the post was in no way negative (in my opinion anyway). Plus, again, in my opinion, the best was the handle this other nurse it to ignore her. If the OP wants to get a BSN, work to get a BSN. If this other nurse wants to be cynical about it--that it her problem and her issue to deal with!

Hahaha

1, Who care about paragraphs? I dont? and thanks for pointing out that it doesnt come under grammatical error. i did not know that, nor does it really matter as paragraphs are normally only expected in formal writing, which this is not! its a nurses forum.

I said that I did not feel it was inappropriate, however it did not address her issue, just steered off subject

2 look up confront. It means face up to and deal with (a problem or difficult situation)., if she was going to talk to her regarding her issue , its confronting! she had a problem

3 She may have clarified this better in later posts , however the bad comments related to the post writers initial response,

i did not disagree with you in ignoring the co worker as that was helpful advice , however some of the comments were not and actually borderline bullying, quoting her initial response. nevermind that she too clarified afterwards , that was not quoted or even acknowledged,

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Specializes in Gerontology RN-BC and FNP MSN student.
Hahaha

1, Who care about paragraphs? I dont? and thanks for pointing out that it doesnt come under grammatical error. i did not know that, nor does it really matter as paragraphs are normally only expected in formal writing, which this is not! its a nurses forum.

I said that I did not feel it was inappropriate, however it did not address her issue, just steered off subject

2 look up confront. It means face up to and deal with (a problem or difficult situation)., if she was going to talk to her regarding her issue , its confronting! she had a problem

3 She may have clarified this better in later posts , however the bad comments related to the post writers initial response,

i did not disagree with you in ignoring the co worker as that was helpful advice , however some of the comments were not and actually borderline bullying, quoting her initial response. nevermind that she too clarified afterwards , that was not quoted or even acknowledged,

Writing and format does matter. Yes this is a nurse forum and we are educated professionals.

They are being kind to give you constructive criticism, as being able to read grammatically correct conversations increases your chances at getting input.

So yeah, paragraphs do matter and so does grammar. Allnurses is awesome to give helpful advice, however being open minded helps too. It is like....no one knows it all, try to make room for increasing in knowledge and appreciate the wisdom of those with experience. :)

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Specializes in Critical Care, ED, Cath lab, CTPAC,Trauma.

MODERATOR NOTE:

This thread is NOT about grammatical errors...it is about issues they are having at work with a fellow employee.

However, that being said, to clarify it is in the Terms of Service to use proper grammar

Desiring to maintain professionalism, text speak (also known as chatspeak, txtspk, texting language or txt talk) is discouraged. Along with using proper English spelling and punctuation, this shows respect for the owner, other bulletin board members, guests, and makes it easier to read your message.
Lets debate the posts and not the poster.

Please stick to topic

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Well she has got plenty input without the use of paragraphs.

Also has it crossed anyones mind that she was upset writing it? Im sure she does use paragraphs normally. I am not going to split hairs as in a post someone did not use paragraphs . Its ludicrous!

Also reading some of these comments professionalism does not come to mind.

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MODERATOR NOTE:

This thread is NOT about grammatical errors...it is about issues they are having at work with a fellow employee.

However, that being said, to clarify it is in the Terms of Service to use proper grammarLets debate the posts and not the poster.

Please stick to topic

Could not agree more

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Specializes in Emergency, Telemetry, Transplant.
however some of the comments were not and actually borderline bullying, quoting her initial response. nevermind that she too clarified afterwards , that was not quoted or even acknowledged,

Let's not get carried away by going to "bullying," but I do agree that some of the subsequent comments were a bit harsh. However, I was only making statements about klone's comments.

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Let's not get carried away by going to "bullying," but I do agree that some of the subsequent comments were a bit harsh. However, I was only making statements about klone's comments.

I was not meaning what you wrote! I was just highlighting what had been said. It needs to stick to the topic. To help this nurse, not anything else

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I decided to delete this post.

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