Coworker is Innappropriate

suzy12 · Aug 7, 2014

Do not engage this nurse in further conversation. If this nurse attempts to put her 2 cents into your conversations, nod, smile, and say "thank you I will take it under advisement" and walk away.

That is really good advice! I use this myself :) and it works, you are always going to get this , no matter where you go!! Be professional and polite , take the higher plane, so speak. Don't lower yourself!

missnurse89 · Aug 7, 2014

Thank you Suzy12. That is very helpful advice and I very much appreciate that. Thanks to everyone for the comments. I was not asking for responses that only agreed with me. I was only asking for responses that were NOT negative. I am not sure what I did to offend some, but I apologize if I came across the wrong way. That was not the intention at all.

missnurse89 · Aug 7, 2014

Thank you for your input. I will take that into consideration.

suzy12 · Aug 7, 2014

Your welcome :) hope everything works out for you .

renardeau, BSN, RN · Aug 7, 2014

I have to agree with the paragraphs and the points on talking with the difficult person one-on-one. However, judging by some of the comments, I also don't believe that OP can be entirely faulted for some perceived negativity toward her. Yes, we are a board that appreciates legibility, but people can be rather snide about it sometimes. Some of the responses are very constructive, and some are just a bit antagonistic.

With regard to your personal situation OP, one thing I will add is to grow some tough skin. People only bother you as much as you allow them to. You can try to resolve your conflict through a good conversation if they are receptive, especially if you are someone that won't be able to focus unless issues are resolved. If it were me, unless this co-worker's actions were really bothering my ability to deliver care, I'd leave it alone. I'm of the opinion that when people are so contemptuous, it usually serves to make themselves feel better about something---something that really should have no bearing over my life.

springchick1, ADN, RN · Aug 7, 2014

If I went to my manager with a problem like this, her first response would be, "What did she say when you talked to her about it?"

We have a chain if commanded we are required to follow at work and step one is to talk to the person who we have a problem with. IF it doesn't get resolved or the problem gets worsen, then we go to management. If this person found out that you ran to the DON and told her what was going on, she may not take too kindly to that.

mrsboots87 · Aug 7, 2014

I don't think that in a professional workplace, where I am a staff nurse, and a co-worker is a staff nurse that I should have to "confront" anyone about their behavior. That is why we have managers. To manage. And directors, to direct.
I would be clear with the DON that you do not feel comfortable in engaging this co-worker regarding her work ethic and professionalism. OP, you do not need to ask this coworker if you "offended" her--she has some behavioral issues that others have brought up, that are now affecting you--and what exactly is the DON doing about it? Yup, Nothing. I am not sure how many complaints she needs to receive.
Do not engage this nurse in further conversation. If this nurse attempts to put her 2 cents into your conversations, nod, smile, and say "thank you I will take it under advisement" and walk away.
As adults, we do not endevour to go to work and deal with other nurse's bad behaviors. Yet, the wheel keeps spinning, nothing is ever done about it, so it is akin to acknowleging that there's a huge issue that can affect patient care, but it is not important enough to fix. Until it comes to patient harm. Then it becomes that management had "no idea" this was happening.....

The point of trying to start a conversation with the other nurse is not because you are a moderator or management doesn't want to deal with it. And in life, whether at work or in off time, when someone has a problem with you (as long as it is not getting physical) it is better to try to constructively talk the problem out so it doesn't escalate further. If it is escalating at that point, then walk away. But to just avoid the problem all together solves nothing and is not the most mature way to handle situations.

Take this example, Nurse A is being very rude to Nurse B. Nurse B asks Nurse A if there is any particular reason for the hostility towards her. Nurse A grumpily tells Nurse B that she heard a rumor that Nurse B said something or did something that angered her. Nurse B can now clear this up and hopefully resolve the issue to provide a better working environment. The flip side is that Nurse A still is rude to Nurse B, but now Nurse B can tell management that she attempted tor resolve the problem, but that it didn't help and they can now step in.

If you go running to management, they only get your side. What if you are actually the cause of the problem but are pushing blame on the other nurse to get them in trouble. It is not managements job to make your coworkers like you or at the very least work nicely with you outside of keeping violence out of the workplace. The attitude of walking away and not dealing with things only makes it worse and is less likely to get management on your side.

OP, I don't know the whole situation, but it would be a good idea to at least talk to the other nurse and see if you can find out why they are rude to you. You may be able to resolve it, or at least get them to leave you alone. If they get hostile or things get worse, then definitely go back to your DON. At that point she will see that this behavior will not stop without her stepping in. And if you talk to the other nurse, things don't get better, and management does nothing about it, then it shows that that facility does not care about its employees and that you might be better off looking for something else or working through it and ignoring the rude nurse.

SionainnRN · Aug 7, 2014

That is the whole point of the post. I don't appreciate inappropriate comments so please do not post if you want to be negative.

Holy crap. If this is how you react to a completely neutral response I'm inclined to think you are overly sensitive and maybe blowing things with your coworker way out of proportion.

No one likes having the uncomfortable situation, but it's what we do as adults. Especially in the work place. How do you think it makes you look that instead of telling your coworker that certain behaviors were bothering you, you went straight to the DON? No one likes to be blind sided and your coworker deserved the opportunity to change her behavior and/or apologize. Hopefully you'll keep this in mind next time it happens, because it will happen again.

PMFB-RN, RN · Aug 7, 2014

That is the whole point of the post. I don't appreciate inappropriate comments so please do not post if you want to be negative.

Uh, wow! I think I know why your coworker has a problem with you. After reading this I now think it is your fault.

I also now obvious that you don't have the slightest clue what is, and isn't an inappropriate comment.

wooh, BSN, RN · Aug 7, 2014

I am not sure what I did to offend some,

See below:

That is the whole point of the post. I don't appreciate inappropriate comments so please do not post if you want to be negative.

If that's how you're interacting with your coworker, that could be your problem right there. If you don't see that post as offensive, it's not surprising you don't see how you may be contributing to the negative interactions with your coworker.

jadelpn, LPN, EMT-B · Aug 7, 2014

The point is, that if one is having to deal with a co-worker whose behavior is so out of control that they can not contain themselves in a professional fashion at work, why would anyone then take it upon themselves to get into a position of a private conversation with this person?

Case in point: Nurse A is behaving inappropriately to the point of affecting Nurse B's work (and in the OP's case, Nurse C,D.E. and F's work). Say that Nurse B takes Nurse A aside to ask if they did anything to "offend". What kind of logical answer or agreement is one going to come to? You are dealing with a nurse who has little to no professional skills. You may have a nurse that then is stating Nurse B is harrassing. The conversation gets absolutely no where other than now you are behind in the work that needs to be done to have a useless conversation with a less than stellar example of appropriate communication. You may get a "Ya, I don't like you, so, UHM, whatcha gonna do about it, well, there's nothing you can". And now things have gone from bad to worse. Oh, and the moral of this story is that after numerous trips to the manager by any number of nurses, this nurse is still working, so in essence, the offending nurse is correct. No one IS going to do a thing about her poor behavior.

Managers need no tolerance. If you have multiple nurses coming to you regarding the same nurse, then somethng is amiss. So managers need to engage this, not co-workers.

What happens when Nurse A flips out on Nurse B? Does nurse A then have the choice of going home (like one would in a social or public situation). We are talking about someone who is not conducting themselves properly to begin with, has no filter, however you want to describe it.

In life we have choices. In work, not so much to the same level. Never get yourself into a situation where you are having private conversations with a person who is manipulative, unstable, and has the ability to affect your work--that managment decides YOU need to attempt to deal with first.

Again, no thanks.

LittleCandles · Aug 7, 2014

Why are you engaging this woman if she's rude to you? You don't continue to poke a bear when it bite your hand off the first time.

If someone is always being rude when you state your opinion that's opposing theirs, I would imagine you'd just stop stating your opinion around that person.

Stop engaging.

Also yes paragraphs make things readable. Nobody was being rude. Are you sure you're not just a little too sensitive?