Comments about personal appearance

Nurses General Nursing

Published

Uuugh! Ever wonder why patients feel the need to comment on personal appearances of the staff? I was at work last night and my patient asked "What's wrong with you?" and when I asked what she meant, asked point-blank if I was ill because I am "too thin." I am a healthy weight, same as in high school. My oh so helpful coworker piped up "She's a vegan!" after which I got to endure a long lecture about how "unhealthy" my lifestyle choices are by my patient, a 400+ lb cardiac pt. I just wanted to say "I don't make fun of your appearance, please do the same!"

This seems so common! Why on earth do people feel this is necessary? More a vent than anything.... It was a looong night! This and people who try to tell you how to do your job (but aren't nurses) drive me nuts! And no, I don't need a transfusion, I'm Irish!

Specializes in Med surg, LTC, Administration.

Hey you skinny folk are the new minorities. America is full of obesity. Be proud, walk with your head up high and know, most folks would give their left arm to look like you! Think of them as secret admirers. Peace!

Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
uuugh! ever wonder why patients feel the need to comment on personal appearances of the staff? i was at work last night and my patient asked "what's wrong with you?" and when i asked what she meant, asked point-blank if i was ill because i am "too thin." i am a healthy weight, same as in high school. my oh so helpful coworker piped up "she's a vegan!" after which i got to endure a long lecture about how "unhealthy" my lifestyle choices are by my patient, a 400+ lb cardiac pt. i just wanted to say "i don't make fun of your appearance, please do the same!"

this seems so common! why on earth do people feel this is necessary? more a vent than anything.... it was a looong night! this and people who try to tell you how to do your job (but aren't nurses) drive me nuts! and no, i don't need a transfusion, i'm irish!

people comment on everyone's appearance -- i suspect you're so shocked because, as a thin person, you don't get as many comments as those of us who are fat. (not another obesity thread! i'll be good!)

years ago, a prominent physician remarked "you'd be a pretty girl if you didn't have so much acne" and suggested i come 'round his office for a prescription. another told me i'd be a pretty girl if my teeth weren't so bad and gave me the phone number of his dentist. a patient once told me i looked horrible with my hair pulled back and the same night another told me that i looked beautiful with my hair pulled back. i constantly hear that i'm too pale. and if i had a dollar for every person who hinted, intimated or baldly stated that i'm fat, i'd be a wealthy woman. (as if i hadn't already figured that out for myself. really? i'm fat? wow, i hadn't noticed!)

people can be real asses.

Specializes in Acute Care Psych, DNP Student.

I don't expect my patients to have appropriate social skills, so I'm not surprised when I hear this sort of thing. We aren't there to socialize with our patients, and many of them are seriously dysfunctional. Comments like these are actually a window into their own projection, perception, and psychological dysfunction. They can actually help you help the patient because you see what is really going on in their minds. The comment isn't about you at all, really.

It's about a patient-centered therapeutic interaction, not a personal relationship, so let it roll off your back.

Specializes in Gerontology, nursing education.

When I was in my twenties, I was working evening shift and taking a morning aerobics class run by a tanned, beautiful woman who had been a professional dancer. One morning I was going to skip class but dragged myself out of bed, got dressed, didn't have time for make-up---always thought that was ridiculous because I was just going to sweat it off---but the instructor always wore full make-up and everyone in the class followed her example. A few minutes after the class started, the instructor stopped the class and asked me if I was feeling well because I was so pale. I'm naturally pale. Vampire pale. Sparkle in the sunlight pale. I told her I wasn't wearing make-up. speechless-smiley-034.gif

I agree with Multi. However, my aerobics instructor should have known better. :lol2:

Specializes in CICU.

I am tall, so I get alot of comments about it, always have. I get asked my height all the time, and it generally doesn't bother me. LOLs seem to admire it, men want to know where I played ball, and a lot of other women in my age group simply seem like they wished they were tall too.

When asked by other women with a look of horror, however, I do get a little annoyed, and just say "very". A part of me wants to respond with asking how much they weigh, and then ask how they like snarky personal questions/comments from strangers...

And, in general, the "Wow, you're tall" comments just make me say "yup". As though I hadn't noticed =)

Specializes in ER, ICU.

Oh the things that ran through my head before I wrote this... Filter engaged!

I've seen this happen a lot, even to me. It's okay to make fun of the skinny weenies but when the tables are reversed, they cry being not politically correct.

That's not exactly fair, if you can dish it out(all in good fun), you shoul be able to take it(all in good fun).

Heh, I get commented on my looks a lot-you are too thin, you are this and that-I dont let it bother me. I also get hit on on the streets (I do home health care) and at times it can be quiet uncomfortable...

make sure you get you a pepper spray or some other form of protection.

It can be very difficult to shrug off a negative comment from a patient.

I'm pushing 60 and I get alot of "you look tired', "why are you sweating" ,etc.

I make a joke out of it and remind myself how lucky I am that I can still do this.

Wish Iwas young, Irish and thin!

I don't expect my patients to have appropriate social skills, so I'm not surprised when I hear this sort of thing. We aren't there to socialize with our patients, and many of them are seriously dysfunctional. Comments like these are actually a window into their own projection, perception, and psychological dysfunction. They can actually help you help the patient because you see what is really going on in their minds. The comment isn't about you at all, really.

It's about a patient-centered therapeutic interaction, not a personal relationship, so let it roll off your back.

I'm sorry, but this comment almost had me spewing my water. Say what again?This is a fair give-away to patients.

Courtesy is not determined by being a patient or not. Courtesy is a habit(character) if you will, that human-beings learn/use in order to make for polite and uplifting interactions with one another.

Specializes in Geriatrics, Home Health.

It's not just weight. I'm Black, and an amazing number of people have asked me what I'm "mixed" with. Apparently, I'm just light enough to look biracial, especially when I'm with my much lighter-skinned sister, who has been mistaken for Hispanic (then again, she used to live in the Bronx, surrounded by Dominicans). There's nothing wrong with being biracial, but I'm not. I also had a client's family ask if I was Indian (not Native American).

As Ruby said, people can be asses.

Specializes in CVICU, Obs/Gyn, Derm, NICU.

LOL

I'm in central Sydney, Australia and it's quite a cosmopolitan place

However I do get asked (and not infrequently) questions like....

- 'what have you got in you - you look a bit dark'?

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