Comments about personal appearance

FancypantsRN · Apr 18, 2011

I get soooo tired of the comments about looks from pt's too. If one more person asks me if I am Abby from NCIS.... I just look blankly and blink at this point. I get the "too skinny" thing too and they like to ask me what size I wear. Really?

I just keep going with my work like they never said a thing about it.

greenfiremajick · Apr 18, 2011

I've never actually used it , but I've always thought that Miss Manners suggestion for a response is great:
"I'll forgive you for asking such a personal question, if you'll forgive me for not answering"

oh, I love this one!

Batman25 · Apr 18, 2011

Truth is some people are just miserable and do their best to make others miserable. They'd rather share a hurtful word than a kind one. It's really about them not you.

In this case the patient was prob a tad jealous of your slim figure and wished she had it as well. She might also have been projesting her own poor self image onto you to take the onus off of her and her weight prob and put the focus on you instead. Denial technique. Surely in her heart of hearts she knows she is obese and in poor health at present compared to you. Might just be too painful for her to face but it's unkind to make you feel bad. Your co-worker should MTOB. It's not her place to say how and what you eat.

Vanillanut, DNP, RN, APRN · Apr 18, 2011

I often get asked how old I am, or "you don't look old enough to be a nurse" or flat out asking me how old I am and how much experience I have (I'm 29). I had one patient ask me "you DO know what you're doing RIGHT? You look really young." Typically I answer with a light hearted joking comment back and move on. By the end of my shift, their perspective of my abilities has changed. One person actually apologized.

What's worse is when I work at a different site (travel assignment) and no one knows me, I am called a "student", even though I have a cardiac assignment in the ED, and have an ID badge (granted, it's a generic staff badge which doesn't differentiate between jobs- but still students don't get them). Patient's ignorance I can take but sometimes other nurses assume stuff too. I am tempted to wear one of those personalized name badges which reads RN after the name (at first I thought they looked cheezy..... now I am willing to overlook that not to be treated as and referred to as "the student" anymore).

Point being, sometimes people say ignorant comments, in nursing and in life. Because of the nature of nursing I suspect we encounter them 10x more then what others might in the general population. What can ya do? You really can't teach good manners or common sense.

NsugaBuga · Apr 18, 2011

I used to get that alot and Im sure it wont stop.

I actually am underweight for my height. But in defense, I think I'll gain when I'm in my 30s... or start having kids. (whichever comes first) Also, my mom was like me at my age, and now shes.... 'normal'.... My brothers the same way, and many of the ppl on both sides of my family... I'm alright and I know that I dont have to explain to anybody. I've learned to ignore it.

Do-over, ASN, RN · Apr 18, 2011

I've never actually used it , but I've always thought that Miss Manners suggestion for a response is great:
"I'll forgive you for asking such a personal question, if you'll forgive me for not answering"

I like that!

Ash81386 · Apr 18, 2011

I consistently get the "ARE YOU EVEN OLD ENOUGH TO CARE FOR ME" comment...I'm 31!
Guess I shouldn't complain...heheee...but, it still makes me feel as thought the person thinks I am inept to provide good care!
Shrug it off, dear! Some people run without a filter on their mouth :doh:

Once I was heading into a supply closet & a man stopped me in the hallway and said "Excuse me... Do your parents know you're up here playing nurse?"

rngolfer53 · Apr 18, 2011

Uuugh! Ever wonder why patients feel the need to comment on personal appearances of the staff? I was at work last night and my patient asked "What's wrong with you?" and when I asked what she meant, asked point-blank if I was ill because I am "too thin." I am a healthy weight, same as in high school. My oh so helpful coworker piped up "She's a vegan!" after which I got to endure a long lecture about how "unhealthy" my lifestyle choices are by my patient, a 400+ lb cardiac pt. I just wanted to say "I don't make fun of your appearance, please do the same!"
This seems so common! Why on earth do people feel this is necessary? More a vent than anything.... It was a looong night! This and people who try to tell you how to do your job (but aren't nurses) drive me nuts! And no, I don't need a transfusion, I'm Irish!

My response would probably be: Well your lifestyle has you in the hospital, while mine allows me to take care of you. Which one would you say is more likely to be unhealthy?

AusRN · Apr 18, 2011

I get the "wow you're so tall.. do you play netball?" all the time, it makes me laugh

I never get the i'm too skinny bit except from my workmates who see me eat so much food.... I never find it offensive from my workmates, and I'm lucky that I don't get skinny comments from patients. Just looking up at me going "wow!!"

I would be annoyed about the lecture. Your workmate should not have given that information out!

WIN007 · Apr 18, 2011

Actually I think it's just a reflection of the rest of our society rather than anything overly personal to you.. People ARE rude; the less educated the more so it seems. The things people do all the time now were unheard of in my parents generation

such as people to just walk up to you and ask you you're Irish or Puerto Rican, comment on your apperance, ask your religion or to rant about politics. The longer I live the more I think they knew what they were doing too.