Comments about personal appearance

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Uuugh! Ever wonder why patients feel the need to comment on personal appearances of the staff? I was at work last night and my patient asked "What's wrong with you?" and when I asked what she meant, asked point-blank if I was ill because I am "too thin." I am a healthy weight, same as in high school. My oh so helpful coworker piped up "She's a vegan!" after which I got to endure a long lecture about how "unhealthy" my lifestyle choices are by my patient, a 400+ lb cardiac pt. I just wanted to say "I don't make fun of your appearance, please do the same!"

This seems so common! Why on earth do people feel this is necessary? More a vent than anything.... It was a looong night! This and people who try to tell you how to do your job (but aren't nurses) drive me nuts! And no, I don't need a transfusion, I'm Irish!

Specializes in Acute Care Psych, DNP Student.
I'm sorry, but this comment almost had me spewing my water. Say what again?This is a fair give-away to patients.

Courtesy is not determined by being a patient or not. Courtesy is a habit(character) if you will, that human-beings learn/use in order to make for polite and uplifting interactions with one another.

I am not saying disrespectful comments towards nurses from patients are OK. I am suggesting one approach is for the nurse to take his or her ego out of the response, acklowledge that many patients are socially dysfunctional, and take any clues the patient's verbal blunder provides to redirect back to the patient (patient centered therapeutic interaction).

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I am not saying disrespectful comments towards nurses from patients are OK. I am suggesting one approach is for the nurse to take his or her ego out of the response, acklowledge that many patients are socially dysfunctional, and take any clues the patient's verbal blunder provides to redirect back to the patient (patient centered therapeutic interaction).

Just because you're a patient doesn't make you, "socially dysfunctional"- I know many a people who would vehemently disagree with you on this.One may become socially dysfunctional according to diagnosis, I can concede that, happens but not on the regular.

We're talking hospitals here not psych wards.

2. Why does it have to be the nurse's ego?Could they simply not have feelings and be sensitive to unwelcome, demeaning comments such as those? Just because one is a nurse, doesn't necessarily make one a an insult magnet or a shield to take it and keep on taking it.

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Specializes in Acute Care Psych, DNP Student.

2. Why does it have to be the nurse's ego?

Because the interaction isn't about the nurse's feelings - it's about the patient. Taking the nurse's ego out and lacking defensiveness redirects the focus back to the patient. Which is where it should be.

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Because the interaction isn't about the nurse's feelings - it's about the patient. Taking the nurse's ego out and lacking defensiveness redirects the focus back to the patient. Which is where it should be.

I see...somebody please hand me a newspaper!

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Hey you skinny folk are the new minorities. America is full of obesity. Be proud, walk with your head up high and know, most folks would give their left arm to look like you! Think of them as secret admirers. Peace!

Yeah but they might think thin means sick,like the other day my grandma told me that my face became so thin that she thinks I dont eat nothing. I told I'm tired, I drive many miles and at the end of the day I'm basically exhausted, she still think I dont eat right.

On the other hand I know that some latino groups (I'm not latino, I'm white) believe that thickness means good health, and that is how all this obesity spreads its roots.

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I am tall, so I get alot of comments about it, always have. I get asked my height all the time, and it generally doesn't bother me. LOLs seem to admire it, men want to know where I played ball, and a lot of other women in my age group simply seem like they wished they were tall too.

When asked by other women with a look of horror, however, I do get a little annoyed, and just say "very". A part of me wants to respond with asking how much they weigh, and then ask how they like snarky personal questions/comments from strangers...

And, in general, the "Wow, you're tall" comments just make me say "yup". As though I hadn't noticed =)

I've never actually used it , but I've always thought that Miss Manners suggestion for a response is great:

"I'll forgive you for asking such a personal question, if you'll forgive me for not answering"

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I am not saying disrespectful comments towards nurses from patients are OK. I am suggesting one approach is for the nurse to take his or her ego out of the response, acklowledge that many patients are socially dysfunctional, and take any clues the patient's verbal blunder provides to redirect back to the patient (patient centered therapeutic interaction).

That's why I liked my earlier suggestion. I thought it was patient centered and therapeutic.

"oh, how sweet of you to take an interest in me...... but I'm much more interested in checking on you and seeing how you are doing. :) Let's take your vitals and see how that BP is doing" ;);)

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make sure you get you a pepper spray or some other form of protection.

I recently did.Seriously. I have been asked by bunch of guys from the "neighborhood" to come over and sit with them by the porch. Are they really that stupid thinking I will go if I dont know them...?

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It can be very difficult to shrug off a negative comment from a patient.

I'm pushing 60 and I get alot of "you look tired', "why are you sweating" ,etc.

I make a joke out of it and remind myself how lucky I am that I can still do this.

Wish Iwas young, Irish and thin!

trust me it aint that fun when you go into a bad neighboorhood and guys tell you hey baby what is up, try to lure you into their yard just to probably rape you or take your purse. I have been warned by my preceptor that can happen especially when you are a light skinned thin blond woman.And on top of the the police stops and think you came to the neigboorhood to buy drugs and you almost get arrested (thank god for your nursing license card)

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I literally just woke up, worked last night, and had the same thing happen! My patient did not speak English so her daughter told me, "My Mom is concerned because she thinks you are too thin...do you have a man to take care of you?" Haha! I can't remember how I responded. I also look very young for my age so I have multiple patients, staff and family members ask me how old I am. It honestly happens 2-3 times a shift. Most of the time I can brush it off, but when people keep bringing it up after I have told them my age and say things like, "Oh you look like you are maybe 12 yrs old," I will admit that can get irritating!

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I see...somebody please hand me a newspaper!

I was trying to swat for you but evidently I missed ;)

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I would mention to your coworker that you would appreciate it if they didn't volunteer info for you. After all, you are very capable of deciding for yourself what you want to tell patients, and you are capable of speaking for yourself.

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