Colonoscopy: A patients perspective...

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Specializes in Trauma/Surgery Floor.

One of my family members recently had a colonoscopy and subsequently wrote this seriously funny letter to the Dr. who performed the procedure. I thought it should be shared...enjoy :p

I asked if the Colonoscopy hurt.

I was told that it didn’t, but was a little uncomfortable, yeah right!

What really happens is: they laugh at your nervous chatter or lame jokes; and listen to what you have to say or don’t have to say, depending on whether you are talkative or not.

They give you a shot or two or three in your IV that is supposed to knock you out temporarily and BEGIN their attack like evil scientist! When they think you are out of it, the good Doctor begins his mission, entering an exit door! At first, he seems gentle and they are looking for abnormalities, but when he sees nothing, he digs in deeper, but runs into speed bumps, sharp turns, and even decides he needs a new turn lane. He drives his BULLDOZER like a little kid with a new toy! DUDE! That hurts and my limbs won’t move! Boy, do I want to swing at you! Wow, it feels like I have this demonic demon alien inside of me about to burst out from the side of my abdomen! I wondered if he had a license to drive that bulldozer? I tense up, he is trying to get me to relax when I am being tortured, my mouth can’t tell him that it hurts like a mug, my limbs are limp, so I can’t swing at him, so how am I going to relax????

Then, when I am going to a recovery area, the driver of the bed is obviously having problems getting my gurney in the door, I thought about reaching out to guide it myself so we didn’t run into any more objects since I was feeling rather violated. When I finally am left alone for a few, this stupid machine alarm keeps going off to keep me awake, and someone in the background is telling me to breath. Did I snore or something? I start feeling a little relieved from the torture, I sit up and start looking for my clothes because I want to make a beeline for the nearest door to get away from the mad bulldozer driver!

HAHAHA I SURVIVED TO TELL MY STORY!

VERSED does not work!!!

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Specializes in Primary Care.

You did not get enough Versed. My last colonoscopy my GI Doctor knocked me out. Oh Lord what a blessing. Before the procedure I told him if I hurt I was going to kick in the shin. Thanks to God he listened

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Specializes in Critical Care.

Say, YES to Propofol ! I had a great colonoscopy nap. You just wake up with gas. :lol2:

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I personally don't think the letter is funny or even interesting, it's rather crude IMHO.

Versed does in fact work. I have worked in endo and patients don't even remember having had the procedure. Very occasionally we do get a patient that does remember and has had pain but has not been able to tell us that they were having pain. They had enough Versed to cause that but not enough to make them forget. Some people just have a higher tolerance for IV medications and it's impossible for nurses or doctors to know what that threshold is.

I don't think it's fair for you to scare "everyone" off from having a colonoscopy because you had a bad experience.

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Thanks to a rotten family history of colon CA and a PMH of polyps, I have had MANY colonoscopies over the years. Only 1, the first, was painful, and my doctor decided the amount of Versed I was given had not been sufficient. Subsequent colonoscopies by him and by other GIs have been virtually pain-free. I agree the propofol offers the best analgsia and amnesia, but should not be necessary in all cases. Plus it requires the presence of an anesthesiologist which adds to the cost. I have done quite well with Versed, especially when it is given before any of the other drugs. IMO I would much rather have a colonoscopy then suffer the ravages of colon CA, which I have watched in numerous family members.

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Specializes in psychiatric, UR analyst, fraud, DME,MedB.

:smokin:That is okay. I find it entertaining! but nothing really to be uptight about. She is trying to be funny w/ this colonoscopy stuff and I like it.

I had 2 and I will be getting another colonoscopy this coming friday. The last two was a breeze , and woke up when it was all done. This third one is going to be an adventure----this is the first a pharmacist handed me a gallon container w/ some white powder in it. Holy cow , what is that? and this is his reply, as a matter of fact manner...... that I have to fill this up to the designated mark ( way full ) and to start drinking after every 15 minutes ( a day before the procedure) until it is all gone......then the party starts, he added. Horrified , I asked if this is the right prescription , there must be a mistake....and I stumbled all over my words. I was in shock ! I used to only have one or two of those green small bottles that tasted like sprite ..........................but this monstrous gallon of whatever........are you sure sir that there is no mistake? another thing he added, the prescription also included 2 enemas !!!!! This is all I could bear and I ran out of the pharmacy w/ those deadly things in my hands !!!

Maybe I should cancel this.................................................... ??????:eek:

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Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.
I personally don't think the letter is funny or even interesting, it's rather crude IMHO.

Versed does in fact work. I have worked in endo and patients don't even remember having had the procedure. Very occasionally we do get a patient that does remember and has had pain but has not been able to tell us that they were having pain. They had enough Versed to cause that but not enough to make them forget. Some people just have a higher tolerance for IV medications and it's impossible for nurses or doctors to know what that threshold is.

I don't think it's fair for you to scare "everyone" off from having a colonoscopy because you had a bad experience.

Denying this patient's experience does not make the trauma any less real. Pain is what the patient SAYS it is.......this one just happens to say it in an amusing fashion. :lol2:

Frankly, I wish more patients were able to process it this way, instead of developing PTSD or suing the pants off the doctor and nurses..........

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Specializes in Emergency Room, Specialty Infusions.

Hmmmm, I'm scheduled for my first scope in August. Scared to death.

Have had Versed before....Ativan too. Did absolutely nothing.

Propofol for me baby.....ALL the way!!

I

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Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.

all i can say is ask for propofol next time. that **** really works!

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Specializes in psychiatric, UR analyst, fraud, DME,MedB.
Hmmmm, I'm scheduled for my first scope in August. Scared to death.

Have had Versed before....Ativan too. Did absolutely nothing.

Propofol for me baby.....ALL the way!!

I

Really ?? you have tolerance to the drugs? should they give more versed ? this other med ---would insurance pay for this ? I had two of these things and they went just fine.......I simply fell asleep. Maybe a stronger versed dosage and a demerol? ...just in case it does not put you to lala land , at least there will be no pain ?

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Specializes in LTC, Home Health, Hospice.

Ok, to the original OP....I laughed so hard I almost peed my pants!

This reminds me of my Father, you show him a needle and HE HITS the floor! No joking here!

as for Anest. I've had 4 surgeries, the second one I woke up right in the middle of them cutting into my head! Yes, you read right!

I've always told my MD's that they have to use the "good stuff" to knock me out and keep me out, they don't want me waking up during surgery. My latest 2 were for rotator cuff repairs and believe me, they knocked me out...I think they used to much:).

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The worst part of a colonoscopy is when you have to drink that horrible stuff that makes your butt feel like a pudding rocket. Your butt gets sooooo sore and your stomach feels like it's been turned inside out. You look forward to the colonoscopy just to get your misery over with!:grn:

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