One of my family members recently had a colonoscopy and subsequently wrote this seriously funny letter to the Dr. who performed the procedure. I thought it should be shared...enjoy
I asked if the Colonoscopy hurt.
I was told that it didn’t, but was a little uncomfortable, yeah right!
What really happens is: they laugh at your nervous chatter or lame jokes; and listen to what you have to say or don’t have to say, depending on whether you are talkative or not.
They give you a shot or two or three in your IV that is supposed to knock you out temporarily and BEGIN their attack like evil scientist! When they think you are out of it, the good Doctor begins his mission, entering an exit door! At first, he seems gentle and they are looking for abnormalities, but when he sees nothing, he digs in deeper, but runs into speed bumps, sharp turns, and even decides he needs a new turn lane. He drives his BULLDOZER like a little kid with a new toy! DUDE! That hurts and my limbs won’t move! Boy, do I want to swing at you! Wow, it feels like I have this demonic demon alien inside of me about to burst out from the side of my abdomen! I wondered if he had a license to drive that bulldozer? I tense up, he is trying to get me to relax when I am being tortured, my mouth can’t tell him that it hurts like a mug, my limbs are limp, so I can’t swing at him, so how am I going to relax????
Then, when I am going to a recovery area, the driver of the bed is obviously having problems getting my gurney in the door, I thought about reaching out to guide it myself so we didn’t run into any more objects since I was feeling rather violated. When I finally am left alone for a few, this stupid machine alarm keeps going off to keep me awake, and someone in the background is telling me to breath. Did I snore or something? I start feeling a little relieved from the torture, I sit up and start looking for my clothes because I want to make a beeline for the nearest door to get away from the mad bulldozer driver!
How interesting, but I don't think it is that bad.... I have had ulcerative colitis/proctitis, so every colonoscopy has been rather uncomfortable, but it depends on the doc. One physician totally knocked me out (bless her soul). Another doc did not even use any meds at all because I was on the Big Island of HI and had to drive afterwards, so that colonoscopy took about 2 minutes and the tech said that I really lasted long (ha!). The doc justified it with "I have had many and all without meds" - Yeah, but he did not have the inflammation either. Another impromptu sigmoidoscopy was also done without meds, but that doc was so good, I wasn't that uncomfortable at all. In Germany, the doc actually gave me panties to wear with a hole at the rear, which I thought was pretty neat. So, I think it is a definite necessity and suggest everyone gets it; expect it to be uncomfortable, but I think the more anxiety/fear you have beforehand, the more uncomfortable you will be.
Specializes in psychiatric, UR analyst, fraud, DME,MedB.
Panties w/ a hole in them ? Wow , very creative......maybe we can market this in the colonoscopy clinics to add character to their butt procedure? How about a colon video tour to share w/ your friends next time they come over for dinner or visit?
Specializes in Emergency Room, Specialty Infusions.
Originally Posted by Code_VSA
Hmmmm, I'm scheduled for my first scope in August. Scared to death.
Have had Versed before....Ativan too. Did absolutely nothing.
Propofol for me baby.....ALL the way!!
I
Really ?? you have tolerance to the drugs? should they give more versed ? this other med ---would insurance pay for this ? I had two of these things and they went just fine.......I simply fell asleep. Maybe a stronger versed dosage and a demerol? ...just in case it does not put you to lala land , at least there will be no pain ?
It seems like if I am scared to death.....drugs don't have much effect. Just takes the "edge" off, but my blood pressure and heart rate are still up and I am in a panic and thinking about getting up and running out of the room. I think my fear is my own worse enemy. Health care is "free" in Canada. Just have to wait forever to get it. It took 5 months to get this appointment
Your post was comical. Thank you for sharing your experience. I hope your next colonoscopy experience is more comfortable. TWILIGHTNURSE: I'm sorry your HO is so negative and that the only experience you are able to share is that of your patients.
but i must've been very relaxed, because it didn't hurt, and i just stayed awake and watched the screen.
leslie
I woke up and noticed the screen, and asked the nurse if I could watch it. I don't know why I needed permission...maybe I thought I was supposed to be asleep and watching the screen was only for wide-awake people? Apparently I said some funny stuff that I don't remember, but I did that when I was sedated for a hand procedure as well. Good times!
I woke up and noticed the screen, and asked the nurse if I could watch it. I don't know why I needed permission...maybe I thought I was supposed to be asleep and watching the screen was only for wide-awake people? Apparently I said some funny stuff that I don't remember, but I did that when I was sedated for a hand procedure as well. Good times!
i had this procedure, r/t ongoing abd pain.
when i had a ct scan, it said i had colitis (????)
so when i awoke and i saw my colon, i remember protesting, "I DON'T SEE ANY COLITIS!!":lol2:
Specializes in Cardiology, Oncology, Hospice,IV Therapy.
The worst part of a colonoscopy is when you have to drink that horrible stuff that makes your butt feel like a pudding rocket. Your butt gets sooooo sore and your stomach feels like it's been turned inside out. You look forward to the colonoscopy just to get your misery over with!:grn:
:rotfl::hhmth:
SA2009
72 Posts
How interesting, but I don't think it is that bad.... I have had ulcerative colitis/proctitis, so every colonoscopy has been rather uncomfortable, but it depends on the doc. One physician totally knocked me out (bless her soul). Another doc did not even use any meds at all because I was on the Big Island of HI and had to drive afterwards, so that colonoscopy took about 2 minutes and the tech said that I really lasted long (ha!). The doc justified it with "I have had many and all without meds" - Yeah, but he did not have the inflammation either. Another impromptu sigmoidoscopy was also done without meds, but that doc was so good, I wasn't that uncomfortable at all. In Germany, the doc actually gave me panties to wear with a hole at the rear, which I thought was pretty neat. So, I think it is a definite necessity and suggest everyone gets it; expect it to be uncomfortable, but I think the more anxiety/fear you have beforehand, the more uncomfortable you will be.