Co-workers...when they run hot and cold on you.

[BabyLady, BSN, RN]

Ok..this is a minor vent.

I always pride myself on having a positive attitude at work...I joke around with people and I also make sure that I am the first to lend a hand when it's needed, a shift needs to get picked up, etc.

However, what makes my skin crawl, is nurses that show up to work and because they are having a bad morning, they insist on taking it out on me when they get there.

I like to bite my tongue most of the time...mainly because I don't like to get into altercations, I try to give someone the benefit of a doubt, try to justify it that they probably didn't mean things the way they come out, etc.

However, it gets pretty hard when it's the same people, day after day, they come into work with a bad attitude, and I hate to say it, just about all the ones that do this to me are a handful of the senior nurses I work with.

I make a special effort, to leave things around my isolettes clean, set up things for the next shift, etc. So there is, to me, no reason for the attitude.

I feel very strongly that I do a good job where I work...but for the life of me, I can't understand people like that.

[caliotter3]

On my first job there was a nurse who was always crabby and mean. After about a year, she opened up to me as we were waiting to leave one day. She talked about some of the things bothering her in her home life, particularly her husband who wouldn't go look for a job. She worked seven days a week, 16 hours a day to keep the mortgage paid and 4 teenagers afloat and he wouldn't work. After that talk, I felt I understood her better. Seven days a week, 16 hours a day would have made me crabby too, without the husband sitting on his rear at the house that I was paying for.

[lkwashington]

I understand where you coming from, but the person needs to take it out on the person who is the problem. When you come to work you suppose to leave your worries and problems at the door and you pick them up at the door when you leave. This is not fair to anyone else. Allowing someone to vent is great but you have to take care of home first not second.

[himilayaneyes]

Well there are definitely always crabby people at work. Those nurses may be going through tough times at home which I'm sure you'll empathize with them. However, the work place is a professional setting where you're supposed to leave your problems at the door. If it keeps happening, especially with the same person, I would bring it up to that person in an honest, but polite manner. Say "I feel like you.......etc." Nothing will change if no communication takes place. Good luck.

[dudette10, MSN, RN]

I understand where you coming from, but the person needs to take it out on the person who is the problem. When you come to work you suppose to leave your worries and problems at the door and you pick them up at the door when you leave. This is not fair to anyone else. Allowing someone to vent is great but you have to take care of home first not second.

I agree. I've never understood people in any situation (workplace or not) who take their frustrations out on others day after day. The same people that one alienates can be wonderful support systems, which makes it even more difficult to understand. Even if they don't feel comfortable venting to others, just being pleasant and laughing with others can make a world of difference for themselves.

[dudette10, MSN, RN]

One other thing...you mentioned someone running hot and cold on you. I personally would rather have someone be completely cold rather than switch back and forth. I absolutely do not trust people like that. You never know which way the wind is blowing, and it's not up to me to be the freakin' weatherman. I stay far, far away from that crap.

[canesdukegirl, BSN, RN]

These negative people have a tendency to suck the entire supply of oxygen from the room. I always envision them as "Pig Pen" from the Charlie Brown cartoons. They carry a "stinky cloud" around with them that affects others. It is difficult to be positive and cheerful around them. Just remember that you are not there for them, you are there for the patients.

You sound like you are doing all of the right things by doing your job the best, most efficient way possible. Do not expect kudos from them for going above and beyond-sometimes people like this are simply not capable of looking beyond themselves.

Your responsibility when dealing with co-workers is to be direct and state your expectations. Their response to your professionally stated expectations however, is not your responsibility. Do not own it. It will most certainly bring you down and you will feel some emotional fatigue if you get caught up in their negative attitude.

I have had to deal with this QUITE a bit for the past 2 years. We can't change someone's venting, however misdirected it may be. The only thing we can control is our reactions to it. In the words of Jay-Z, "go on brush ya shoulder off!" Let it roll, and be glad that you can rise above the negative that surrounds these people.

[O'SheaRN]

Maybe they're suffering from burn- out syndrome. Perhaps you should let them know how you feel. Depending on how long this has been taking place, they maybe unaware of their attitude and the effect it has on others.

[canoehead, BSN, RN]

I can be one of those cranky people. I don't get going to a normal state of mind until I've been awake and going for a few hours. You know those days when you get report and it feels like they've dumped the responsibilities of the whole world on you? Yeah, that's how it feels most days. Luckily, I've realized that I need to let the day get going before making any comments, because it's probably not as bad as it seems. It's a horrible feeling.

[Cranmans]

We got this new charge nurse, last week. She has been in nursing for 3 months. She is "friendly" (if you know what I mean), to the director. She got this job because she has a B.S. in nursing and minor in *******s. Yesterday, 4 PRN nurses turned in their resignations, effective today. My advise to you is deal with it or move on.

[yetanotheramanda]

my favorite line is "I'm just not a morning person" used to excuse their nastiness. Um, maybe don't get a job where you have to be at work at 0630 if you hate mornings so badly that you can't act like a civilized human being.

[themoreyouknow]

I COMPLETELY understand. :)

Just this past week at work I had an incident. I work days. Night shift was desperate. I agreed to stay over. I stayed until 2 AM (19 hour shift!), crashed in an empty room and got back up at 6 am to do another 12 hour shift.

We have a nurse who is new to our unit but supposedly isn't new to labor and delivery even though she doesn't seem to know anything. She has been here for four months. Her errors are novice nurse errors, not policy errors. For example: A fetal demise pt comes in @ 0500 for induction. The induction book says "200mcg cytotec". She doesn't give the cytotec because she "wasn't sure". Did she call the physician to clarify? Nope. She left it for day shift. "Well I didn't know" she shrugs. That is the type of behavior we see in new grads who haven't found the assertiveness to call the MD to clarify. Seasoned nurses (good ones) don't let a patient sit for hours without MD orders.

Another great example... giving report. We give report the exact same way on every single patient. We read the Kardex from top to bottom, left to right. Every report is similar in form. "Ms. Jones is in room 242. She is due 9/30 which makes her 39 and 1. She's a primep. Patient of Dr. Smith. O+, Gbs-, Rubella NON-immune, everything else non-reactive. She has no known allergies. She is going to breast feed. This is going to be a baby girl. Her cytotec was placed at 2200, 0200 and when we checked her at 0600 she was 2-3/50/-1 rating her pain a 3. She will want an epidural later." EVERY patient gets this format. Yet the "new" nurse gives report all over the map - you get their name then a story about her appendix surgery when she was seven then her gravida/paras but not her due date. She is all over the map! She said "Well no one ever told me to read from the Kardex!" Even though we say "Grab the Kardex sheets, we are going in to give report" and we you can visibly see us reading from each one as we give report on each patient. :icon_roll

Well, I worked until 0200. As I went in on my last delivery just after 0100, she said she would "catch the baby". She admitted she hadn't really done many deliveries and may need a little help. NP. Mom's repairs took a while and NN (New nurse) approached me with the code alert alarm band and said "Where do you prefer this?" I explained "The infant ID bands go on the left wrist and ankle and the code alert bands go on the right ankle." She had already put the ID bands on the right. I told her it was NP but we do it this way on day shift so WE remember which side we put the ID on. There isn't really a policy. She looked baffled. I'm thinking in my head "NN, you've been here for 4 months. Have you not seen the babies have these on their ankles when you do your infant assessments?" Then later, as I went to remove mom's epidural, she says "Here's your baby!" and starts to hand the baby to mom (who is sitting up, leaning forward for me to remove the epidural). I smile and say "Whoa NN! Give me just another minute with mom. You've had a little while to get baby ready but I've only had a few minutes with mom! (Because doc took so long to repair)." I even smiled.

A week later, she pulls me aside and says she feels I was being condescending and rude to her. SERIOUSLY. Are you freaking kidding? She was the one who said she didn't really have any experience catching a baby in our facility. She interpreted my explanation of the bands to mean "You are an idiot." I only explained it detail because she SAID she didn't know. I STAY OVER to help YOUR SHIFT out and on my 19th hour, you feel I may have been a little grouchy and you want an apology?!?!

I told her I was sorry that SHE felt I was rude and that it was not my intention, but all I could think in my head was "REALLY?!? 19 hours and you feel I was grouchy. Next time, I won't stay over and your shift can really suck." It really made me angry. I didn't WANT to work 19 hours, but we didn't have the staffing to safely deliver all the moms we had in labor and no one would come in. I didn't feel comfortable leaving my patients with no staff.

So.. off my soap box.. but yeah. I know what you mean. I am always staying over. Always helping my coworkers. Always telling the "new girls" that they can come to me for help.

But... I can be mean too. I have all the time for you *IF* you are making a genuine effort. If you are trying your very hardest, I will show you time and time again. If you are just plain ignorant and make no effort to learn, my patience wears very thin very quickly. Also.. you MUST have common sense. "Nobody told me is only a good excuse the first time."

~Sherri

"The new nurse thinks like a mom. The experienced nurse thinks like a lawyer."