I always pride myself on having a positive attitude at work...I joke around with people and I also make sure that I am the first to lend a hand when it's needed, a shift needs to get picked up, etc.
However, what makes my skin crawl, is nurses that show up to work and because they are having a bad morning, they insist on taking it out on me when they get there.
I like to bite my tongue most of the time...mainly because I don't like to get into altercations, I try to give someone the benefit of a doubt, try to justify it that they probably didn't mean things the way they come out, etc.
However, it gets pretty hard when it's the same people, day after day, they come into work with a bad attitude, and I hate to say it, just about all the ones that do this to me are a handful of the senior nurses I work with.
I make a special effort, to leave things around my isolettes clean, set up things for the next shift, etc. So there is, to me, no reason for the attitude.
I feel very strongly that I do a good job where I work...but for the life of me, I can't understand people like that.
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
ok..this is a minor vent.
i always pride myself on having a positive attitude at work...i joke around with people and i also make sure that i am the first to lend a hand when it's needed, a shift needs to get picked up, etc.
however, what makes my skin crawl, is nurses that show up to work and because they are having a bad morning, they insist on taking it out on me when they get there.
i like to bite my tongue most of the time...mainly because i don't like to get into altercations, i try to give someone the benefit of a doubt, try to justify it that they probably didn't mean things the way they come out, etc.
however, it gets pretty hard when it's the same people, day after day, they come into work with a bad attitude, and i hate to say it, just about all the ones that do this to me are a handful of the senior nurses i work with.
i make a special effort, to leave things around my isolettes clean, set up things for the next shift, etc. so there is, to me, no reason for the attitude.
i feel very strongly that i do a good job where i work...but for the life of me, i can't understand people like that.
have you talked to these nurses about your issues with them? could it be that you're just too danged perky for them and they don't trust you? could be that you're not doing a good job where you work? perhaps you're consistently leaving the foley bags unemptied or the drips not reordered or your workplace neat and orderly but not set up to the standard of your unit? if you don't talk to them, you'll never know.
i know it's the ideal that we all leave our own problems at the door when we come to work, and most of us strive to do that. some people have less than stellar coping skills or bigger than average problems, and that may affect their interactions with co-workers. my friend kate just lost her husband a few months ago. in the mean time, they've hired a new employee who is very young, very perky and chatters nonstop about her upcoming wedding: the dresses, whether the maid of honor should cover her grays for the wedding pictures and how the color of the flowers isn't exactly what they wanted . . . . kate tries, she really does, but she just wants to put her fist in that girl's face. "how can she be so insensitive?" kate asks. "everyone knows that brad just died -- how can she expect me to be happy about her dammed wedding when i've lost the love of my life?" good question. maybe the new girl doesn't know about kate's loss. or maybe she's just insensitive.
i really tried to leave my problems at the door, but when my mother calls me at work four times a day to complain that my father hasn't come to visit her and he must be "out running around with his girlfriend" and i have to remind her that dad isn't cheating on her since he's dead -- sometimes i get a little cranky. i try very hard not to take it out on someone else, but sometimes a little of that pain spills over. and i know i was terribly hard to get along with when my ex husband tried to kill me. it took months for me to get over the fear of anyone being behind me, and one co-worker delighted in sneaking up behind me and making me jump.
there may be reasons -- not excuses -- for your co-workers to run hot and cold on you. maybe it's your fault. maybe they have problems that they cannot leave at the door no matter how hard they try. my point is, you're not going to know unless you make the effort to talk to them rather than talk about them.
I worked at a place where nurses actually quit because of 2 nurses. Alot of nurses quit, not just one or two. I am all for bad days and such. But these nurses literally hated everyone. One of these nurses died a few years ago I guess her home life was just as bad. There was no service, no obit, nothing. I thought it was the saddest thing I have ever heard. I cried just over that.
I avoid hot and cold people like I avoid dog poo on the sidewalk. My reasoning is that if someone is going to be a female or male dog, then be one every day and not just shift like the wind direction. Sheesh, I hope that made sense. I am tired.
Specializes in CT stepdown, hospice, psych, ortho.
We had an doc once that was like jekyll and hyde. you didn't know which one showed up to work til you had to talk to him. one of our great docs said to him one day in plain view of everyone, "Either be nice or be a ****. I don't care which one, just pick one and stick with it."
my friend kate just lost her husband a few months ago. in the mean time, they've hired a new employee who is very young, very perky and chatters nonstop about her upcoming wedding: the dresses, whether the maid of honor should cover her grays for the wedding pictures and how the color of the flowers isn't exactly what they wanted . . . . kate tries, she really does, but she just wants to put her fist in that girl's face. "how can she be so insensitive?" kate asks. "everyone knows that brad just died -- how can she expect me to be happy about her dammed wedding when i've lost the love of my life?" good question. maybe the new girl doesn't know about kate's loss. or maybe she's just insensitive.
....
there may be reasons -- not excuses -- for your co-workers to run hot and cold on you. maybe it's your fault. maybe they have problems that they cannot leave at the door no matter how hard they try. my point is, you're not going to know unless you make the effort to talk to them rather than talk about them.
i'm sorry your friend lost her husband. however, has kate sat down with the new nurse and told her how she feels? i don't think so since you said you're not even sure if the new girl knows about kate's loss.
btw, being around women who are getting married is, 9 times out of 10, not very fun, regardless of personal circumstances. :)
it's not up to people to be mind readers about the reasons for a coworker's impoliteness or meanness. and, to assume that it is always "my fault" when someone else is short, sarcastic, impolite, or mean is mentally unhealthy.
i worked with a woman who had no work friends except her brother-in-law, her boss, and her boss's best friend, was always finding fault with me, and somehow got her way with everything. we eventually found out she was sleeping with the boss, and he was making decisions with his nether regions every time she complained to him about me or another co-worker. when i left that job, i came back on for a year or so as a contractor, with her as my direct boss. others told me that she never had a pleasant word to say about me when i was her peer, but when she was my boss, i walked on water according to her, probably because the quality of my work made her look good.
it was a simple power struggle in her mind. we were hired at the same time, we climbed the ranks at nearly the same pace, but i got to manager before she did (and she was quick to remind everyone that the reason for my promotion before hers was because she took a 6-month sabbatical, and i got promoted while she was on it). no amount of thinking it was "my fault" could change her bitchiness because....it wasn't my fault!
I know that people have lots of personal baggage at times, and that it can affect their work. However, I am NOT a *******' mind reader....nor do I wish to be. I don't think it's up to me to try to 'guess' what the problem is. With these coworkers I will ask if everything is ok, but I will not play the 20 questions game. I do give them the benefit of the doubt that something is up for them or they wouldn't be acting like that; but I'm not going to get into it with them. And I have asked a coworker if I was doing something that was wrong or that needed to be addressed, and she would just back down and say everything was fine.
Specializes in Trauma Surgery, Nursing Management.
Oh the 20 questions game is SOOOOO tiresome. When I ask a co-worker what is wrong and they respond, "nothing, everything is fine", and it is obvious from body language, eye contact, etc, that everything is NOT fine, I just go on about my business. Whatever dude. Your problem, you stew. Count me out.
This gets sooooo old. We don't have the time to deal with co-workers that don't have the guts to simply talk it out if they have a problem. I still don't understand why someone would rather be mad and let anger fester instead of getting it out in the open and be done with it. Seems like an epic waste of energy.
Ruby Vee, BSN
17 Articles; 14,051 Posts
have you talked to these nurses about your issues with them? could it be that you're just too danged perky for them and they don't trust you? could be that you're not doing a good job where you work? perhaps you're consistently leaving the foley bags unemptied or the drips not reordered or your workplace neat and orderly but not set up to the standard of your unit? if you don't talk to them, you'll never know.
i know it's the ideal that we all leave our own problems at the door when we come to work, and most of us strive to do that. some people have less than stellar coping skills or bigger than average problems, and that may affect their interactions with co-workers. my friend kate just lost her husband a few months ago. in the mean time, they've hired a new employee who is very young, very perky and chatters nonstop about her upcoming wedding: the dresses, whether the maid of honor should cover her grays for the wedding pictures and how the color of the flowers isn't exactly what they wanted . . . . kate tries, she really does, but she just wants to put her fist in that girl's face. "how can she be so insensitive?" kate asks. "everyone knows that brad just died -- how can she expect me to be happy about her dammed wedding when i've lost the love of my life?" good question. maybe the new girl doesn't know about kate's loss. or maybe she's just insensitive.
i really tried to leave my problems at the door, but when my mother calls me at work four times a day to complain that my father hasn't come to visit her and he must be "out running around with his girlfriend" and i have to remind her that dad isn't cheating on her since he's dead -- sometimes i get a little cranky. i try very hard not to take it out on someone else, but sometimes a little of that pain spills over. and i know i was terribly hard to get along with when my ex husband tried to kill me. it took months for me to get over the fear of anyone being behind me, and one co-worker delighted in sneaking up behind me and making me jump.
there may be reasons -- not excuses -- for your co-workers to run hot and cold on you. maybe it's your fault. maybe they have problems that they cannot leave at the door no matter how hard they try. my point is, you're not going to know unless you make the effort to talk to them rather than talk about them.