Calling patients and/or co-workers "honey" or "hon"

chrisrn24 · Mar 13, 2014

I think it's offensive but I don't think it's that offensive enough to ask people to stop.

imintrouble, BSN, RN · Mar 13, 2014

I'm from the south, and my mother would have had a hissy had I called an adult by anything but their last name. As I grew up, it just stayed with me. I almost never used "honey, hon, sweetheart, sugar...... If I did I didn't like the person much.

I never realized how insulting those words can be, until I became old enough to receive them myself. I hate it. Those three words don't actually convey how much I REALLY don't like it.

If someone used those words on me, I'd ask the person to stop. Eventually. When I got mad enough.

CrunchRN, ADN, RN · Mar 13, 2014

I guess it is all about how it is intended and your mental state.

When i moved to TX I had a horrible, frustrating, down to the wire time getting my license switched. Was going to lose my job over it. There was this lady at the Fed Ex place I saw several times when I was extremely stressed and she was my 1st experience being called "honey" Sweetie" and it came across as very caring and actually was a comfort at that stressful time of my life.

amygarside · Mar 13, 2014

It may sound sweet, but it is definitely unprofessional.

bsartor · Mar 13, 2014

Wow! Thanks everyone for your point-of-view! I'm from the South and have done this my whole life without thinking about it. Now I'm in Miami and everyone is referred to a "mami" or "papi". I have always used the words "sweetie" and "darling" as a term of endearment but from now on I will try to avoid using them.

Ruby Vee, BSN · Mar 13, 2014

I think that one can usually tell whether someone is calling you "hon" or "sweetie" or whatever out of disrespect or whether it's just a habit with them. A woman who has a general pattern of disrespect for you deserves to be corrected.

Just my opinion.

nynursey_ · Mar 13, 2014

I'm guilty of doing this to patients. All the time. And thank goodness for this thread or I wouldn't have been cognizant to what it means. I had a nursing instructor point out the disrespect factor involved with calling an elderly patient "sweetie," as opposed to using his/her first name, or surname. She commented that being in the hospital and having your tasks of living essentially completed for you, or needing in continence care provided, and/or your private moments on display can often be demeaning enough--but tacking on pet names brings it to another level. I don't know when in my career I lost sight of that fact, but this post brought it to light.

I'm going to stop doing that from now on, and get back to remembering that it's the little things that help to maintain dignity.

Ruby Vee, BSN · Mar 13, 2014

I watch Worst Cooks in America and one of the contestants called Anne Burrell "Boo". She quickly set him straight about doing that, lol.I had an MA at my doctor's appointment call me "sweetie" recently. Like someone said, if it's not used in an offending way I don't mind. I also think it's funny when someone calls you Miss )whatever your first name is). That seems to be a big thing now.

Being called "Miss Ruby" sends me straight up the wall! I've told several of the folks I work with over and over, but they still don't seem to get it. (Or else people love to see me riled up!)

Ruby Vee, BSN · Mar 13, 2014

True. I know when I went to school they said never to address a patient like that because it is demeaning. So it makes me wonder why people in the healthcare field do it since it is being taught in school as a big no-no. Maybe just a force of habit with some people I guess.

We do it because we've forgotten the person's first name, or sometimes because we don't know the person's name. That's not a good excuse, obviously, but it is the reason! When I rush into a fellow nurse's room to help her wrestle with her Houdini, I might not even know the guy's name, but I do know he needs to stay in bed. And if I rush in there because I see him with a leg over the siderails and his nurse is nowhere in sight, I may be clueless as to what his actual name is unless I happen to catch a flailing wrist and glimpse his name band!

CrunchRN, ADN, RN · Mar 13, 2014

Hey Miss Ruby,I have lived in Texas for 10 years now. This is very much a way of showing respect. Especially by African American patients.Just thought you might be interested to know that. If your patients grew up in this part of the country that is meant to be nothing BUT respectful.

sistrmoon, BSN, RN · Mar 13, 2014

Fruit pie! Love that one.

I've also had people get angry when I've called them Mr. Or Ms. So and So. They're like "my father was Mr. So and so!"

Esme12, ASN, BSN, RN · Mar 14, 2014

We do it because we've forgotten the person's first name, or sometimes because we don't know the person's name. That's not a good excuse, obviously, but it is the reason! When I rush into a fellow nurse's room to help her wrestle with her Houdini, I might not even know the guy's name, but I do know he needs to stay in bed. And if I rush in there because I see him with a leg over the siderails and his nurse is nowhere in sight, I may be clueless as to what his actual name is unless I happen to catch a flailing wrist and glimpse his name band!

GUILTY!

While I have been called many things in my career...I am respectful of my patients (well most of them:whistling:) if I am not restraining them while they spit and bite their way into 4 point leathers or robbing me for narcotics at gunpoint. Gang members have their own language that is usually too colorful for most ears.

It Must be a midwest thing....Going into a patients room..."What you need hon" Is pretty common. "Or it's ok sweetie" "Get back in bed Sweetheart" "Let that go honey" "What you need sugar". I am good about asking my patients what they prefer and do use a lot of Mrs. Carole, or Miss Kate...and my children are taught the same respect for their elders.

However, I was quickly corrected when I moved to New England. :bag: