I know there are regional variations in the use of honey with non-family members. I happen to live out west, where it's rare. I lived in the South for a few years, way back when, and it seemed to be common.
What do you think of it? I have a younger, bossy co-worker whom I'm going to request that she stop calling me 'hon'. Am I being petty? I find it irritating to have a woman who is younger than some of my children call me 'hon'. I don't mind it from sweet people who are my age or older, from this gal it is part of a general pattern of disrespect that I get from her. She is NOT from the South, by the way.
The best is when patients correct them! I recently had a patient I've known for a long time tell a nurse... "I'm not your honey or sweetie!" They probably just say it out of their control. I just switched to peds. I heard not to call them Hey Mom or Dad! BUT everyone does it I'm not sure if it's rude and the parents seem most comfortable with it. That's what our nurses call my husband and I at the doctors office.
I would just tell her "No offense but please don't refer to me as Hun" If that doesn't work you can start saying Hey kiddo are you ready to start that IV? LOL no, don't do that!
I am live in Texas too and I jokingly flirt with coworkers all the time... other RNs call pts sweetie, hon, etc all the time, no one bats an eye. people are too up tight...
My biggest pet peeve is "dude". Why does every comment that come out of some people's mouths become "so dude, you wouldn't believe......" or "Dude, I am just sayin'......" Seriously?!?!?!
Otherwise, Honey, Hon, sweetie....whatever...doesn't bother me much. If someone is callously and sarcasticly saying it, then probably, otherwise, it is not as grating on my nerves as the "dude" thing...
Even though I grew up in the southern culture and call my female friends " darlin' " and " sweetheart ", I would never use terms of endearment on the floor.
In my particular situation, using terms of endearment is typically a show of blatant disrespect (if directed at me) and could easily be construed as disrespectful/inappropriate were I to use them with my patients. I make it quite clear with my patients that the relationship between us is a professional one.
In return, I never use terms of endearment with my patients no matter how well I feel I know them.
While it may indeed be a regional "thing" to use these terms with people in general (patients included), I've always felt as a northerner and a professional that it detracts from the interaction when one stoops to using "hon" or "dear" with a patient. It leaves a bad taste in my mouth as I've frequently been called "hon" or "sweetie" in such a way that it is understood that the term is not really being used endearingly. It's right up there with "Oh, well, bless your heart." Welcome to the south.
I've lived in several different regions, and I pick up on others' patterns of speech pretty easily... to the point that I struggle to remember what is considered "appropriate" in whatever region I'm in. I probably use "honey" and "sweetheart" more often than my current co-workers. I know it sounds weird, but I've picked up "Mama" a bit from this job. I'm another who was raised never, ever to call an adult by his/her first name (my parents didn't even let us do so if the adult asked us to!), and while I've eased up on that some, it's hard for me to call an elderly person by his/her first name. On the other hand, Mr. / Mrs. sometimes feels awkward and OVERLY formal with patients. The occasional "Mama" doesn't seem to bother people... I think it may be more common in Latin American and African countries, and my co-workers have brought that with them.
The big one I try to catch myself on... I was shocked when I first moved to a rural area of the midwest to hear people refer to adult women as "girls". Where I come from that is completely unacceptable--I really thought at first that my new co-workers looked down on me or disrespected me because they kept introducing me to patients as a "girl". Of course, over time I got used to it and (never would have expected this) started using it myself all the time. Now I live out west and it is definitely not in use here, but I catch myself saying it. Ouch!
I have lived in the deep south for 57 years now; old habits are hard to break, especially when you are around it all the time. Everybody here uses "bless your heart, honey, dear, sugar, etc." It is just natural to us, since we were raised that way. That said, I try not to use those kinds of terms at work, and certainly not to co-workers. Since most of our patients were born and raised in the south, it doesn't seem to bother them, and some even expect it. I personally have a problem with everyone at work (patients, doctors, co-workers, etc.) calling me by my first name. We have to address the doctors by Dr., the patients by Mr./Ms. last name only, but everybody gets to call the nurses by their first name, regardless of our age. We cannot call the patients by their first name, even if they are 18 years old, but we can call them darling!
Cannot STAND being called "sweetie" or "hon"...if it is an older person trying to comfort me or something, maybe. But definitely not by a coworker or friend- it's condescending. I feel awful about it but I usually end up calling my patients "sweetie" bc I can never remember their names fast enough- they're also usually sedated and/or altered, though. The A&O ones I refer to by their name. I also can't stand being called Miss/Mrs. _______, or ma'am- way to formal, it creates an emotional distance between me and the person calling me that.
I am from the south and to me "hon" is a southern put down. It is almost like saying "well bless her heart" when you start a sentence in which you are going to gossip.
I find myself using darlin and sweetie with my kids in acute psych inpatient as I see them in their first 24 hours and have to do their psych evals. I do anything I can to make them less homesick and more nurtured. Especially works well with the 4-11 year old population who are usually extremely tearful when i see them first thing in the morning after their first night away from home.
Specializes in Clinical Research, Outpt Women's Health.
I am live in Texas too and I jokingly flirt with coworkers all the time... other RNs call pts sweetie, hon, etc all the time, no one bats an eye. people are too up tight...
I so agree! And even though I live in Texas I am from the West Coast. Now people back home seem so uptight about stupid stuff that doesn't matter to me.
I am live in Texas too and I jokingly flirt with coworkers all the time... other RNs call pts sweetie, hon, etc all the time, no one bats an eye. people are too up tight...
Agreed. I'm in the tri-state and I've never noticed anyone to care.
If a patient calls me "baby" or something it comes across as flirty and I don't really care for it. But other than that I don't really care... much worse things that could be said to me
TheGameIsOnWatson
4 Posts
The best is when patients correct them! I recently had a patient I've known for a long time tell a nurse... "I'm not your honey or sweetie!" They probably just say it out of their control. I just switched to peds. I heard not to call them Hey Mom or Dad! BUT everyone does it I'm not sure if it's rude and the parents seem most comfortable with it. That's what our nurses call my husband and I at the doctors office.
I would just tell her "No offense but please don't refer to me as Hun" If that doesn't work you can start saying Hey kiddo are you ready to start that IV? LOL no, don't do that!