Calling patients and/or co-workers "honey" or "hon"

elkpark · Mar 12, 2014

I'm from the South, and I find it offensive. I don't do it myself except with children (my specialty is child psych, and I find that most anything you can do to "warm up" inpatient child psych units is usually helpful). I certainly don't care to be referred to as "honey" or "sweetie" by people I hardly know, esp. (as you note) when they significantly younger than me.

Altra, BSN, RN · Mar 12, 2014

It is certainly true that the use/perception of terms like this varies considerably from region to region. In my region, the informality underlying it is associated with a particular socio-economic class.

I find it irritating too, especially as I get older. The 19-year old bagging my groceries says, "here you go, hon ..." Really now.

sistrmoon, BSN, RN · Mar 12, 2014

I'm from Texas and was taught never to do this. I do slip up every once in awhile. Never with coworkers though! Mostly with LOL patients, I don't know why:)

Emergent, RN · Mar 12, 2014

I will occasionally use 'sweetie' for a tearful young woman, for children, or a vulnerable little old lady. Only as the situation calls for. Sometimes it's comforting to the vulnerable to be soothed with endearing language.

Everline · Mar 12, 2014

I'm fine with it in some circumstances. A bossy, younger co-worker would not be one of those circumstances. Having said that, if I were in that situation, I'd think about whether it was worth it to correct her. That is, I'd have to judge how she might handle me telling her to stop it and how that would affect my day to day work situation. That's pretty much the bottom line. I've seen people at work politely request that someone else not do some annoying but relatively minor thing and the "corrected" person took great offense at being corrected. What followed was a tense work situation for several weeks. Some people are highly sensitive and easily embarrassed when they feel called out about something and they handle it by not being very nice.

Pangea Reunited, ASN, RN · Mar 12, 2014

It doesn't always bother me, but in some instances, it comes across as condescending. If someone makes unwanted "honey advances" towards me, I make up really stupid pet names to call them back. They either stop calling me "sweetie", or it turns into a contest to make up the dumbest name (which can be fun).

I like fruit pie, cherry cupcake and turkey burger.

tokebi · Mar 12, 2014

LOL no matter how long I live in US, I could never get used to calling someone with those common terms of endearment. It's awkward enough with friends and family. No way with patients! I have other ways to show my affection! :)

I live in the west as well, and have seen quite a few nurses who call their patients "hon." Currently, I have a young coworker who calls pretty much everyone "dear." I inwardly cringe whenever I hear that "dear" addressed to me (I'm probably a decade older!) but I know she doesn't mean any disrespect, so it's okay.

nursefrances, BSN, RN · Mar 12, 2014

I think this would bother me too, especially being that she is younger than you. I imagine someone calling me "hon" looking like the character "Flo" from an old tv show, you know: bee hive hair do, snapping/popping her gum. Yup, that is the image I see.

I am like one other poster, I only use endearing type terms for the sweet LOL who really is a "sweetie", or a small child, otherwise nope.

There is something about "dear" that kind of bothers me too. "Ok dear, the doctor will be right with you." I don't know, I never liked it. This brings about the image of Mr Cleaver (from "Leave it to Beaver") sitting in his chair with his house slippers on and his wife with her pretty dress and pearls.

tokebi · Mar 12, 2014

if I were in that situation, I'd think about whether it was worth it to correct her.

Exactly! As long as it wasn't intentionally meant to be offensive or condescending, I don't think it's something worth to be made a big deal out of. Most of the time, it's just a habit, and a cultural thing.

fetch, BSN, RN · Mar 12, 2014

Even though I'm from (and work in) the south, I never really used those terms until I started working in an elementary school - here everyone does it for all the kids, partly as endearment and partly because we can't always remember the kid's name right away!

My first job out of college, while most things were pretty informal, no one used those terms except one older woman (who I was the supervisor for). For some reason it just hit me the wrong way - I was probably being over-sensitive, but I approached her privately and asked her not to use it with me, and she was fine with that. She'd forget every now and again, but would correct herself, and I never made a big deal of it.

Sky 123 · Mar 12, 2014

This may be off topic but are there any jobs I can do get some experience in healthcare. I just completed Nursing School (RN) and preparing for the NCLEX.I have not worked in healthcare.