I know there are regional variations in the use of honey with non-family members. I happen to live out west, where it's rare. I lived in the South for a few years, way back when, and it seemed to be common.
What do you think of it? I have a younger, bossy co-worker whom I'm going to request that she stop calling me 'hon'. Am I being petty? I find it irritating to have a woman who is younger than some of my children call me 'hon'. I don't mind it from sweet people who are my age or older, from this gal it is part of a general pattern of disrespect that I get from her. She is NOT from the South, by the way.
This may be off topic but are there any jobs I can do get some experience in healthcare. I just completed Nursing School (RN) and preparing for the NCLEX.I have not worked in healthcare.
Try posting this in General Nursing it more responses; we want to keep the flow of the post about the topic, thanks-dear.
Specializes in Clinical Research, Outpt Women's Health.
When I lived on the west coast it was thought unacceptable.
The last 14 years living in the south it is common place.
I really think it comes down to connotation. How is it intended. To show fondness and /or caring vs. condescension. It really depends on the person so i try to avoid it for the most part, but some people here find it comforting and if that seems to be the case then I use it.
My mom is "anti-hon"; as long as I can remember; Since I work in LTC, I found myself calling my ladies "dearie" and placing my hand on their shoulder or hand (depending on the resident- ) as a deescalating tool that worked. When I worked in Peds, if I'm working long term, they have nicknames; otherwise if they have a nickname I'll use; with adults I more apt to not call honey, dear, etc..dear may come in the thread of "Oh Dear" and not as a term of indearment.
Another term my mom will go nuclear of is "kid" or "kiddo"- that's a no-no.
Another unobtrusive way to deal with it is to quietly say your name every time she uses "hon" with you. Not loudly; what you want is for her to barely notice it and keep talking. Subconsciously, she will develop a strong association with you and your name and hopefully stop. If she doesn't, it will be because she really is doing on purpose to be disrespectful.
I have a daughter with an unusual name and she has had coaches refuse to learn it. One of them persistently said her name wrong and when my daughter tried to correct her the coach told her the incorrect name she was using was her new nickname. Um, no. A therapist friend taught her this trick and it has worked multiple times.
Specializes in Clinical Research, Outpt Women's Health.
Can't stand it! Hon, honey, boo, etc. I don't even use those terms with my family. Completely inappropriate and unprofessional.
Whatever hon...................
Just teasing. Could not resist.
Doesn't bother me either way, but I know some people are super annoyed by it.
The only thing that makes me grit my teeth and want to spew is when someone younger calls me "kiddo" or some such. That is so ridiculous and condescending i want to grab them by the neck and..... you get the idea.
I would rather that than be called "ma'am" Ughh that one sends shivers down my spine. My routine is ask what they like to be called and use that name exclusively. Once my friend got completely chewed out for calling her adult male patient, "bud". I'm always cautious.
Another story I just thought of: taking care of a very sophisticated retired MD. I transferred the patient to a lower level of care. In report I let the nurse know that this patient was a former employee, very highly respected, proper etc. After report the nurse and I went in the room together and the nurse asked in a loud, slow voice, "Are you in paaaaain, deeeear?" I could just tell that was not going to end well.
Being called various names of endearment by people who should know better but don't is a big peeve of mine. I know that the sweet older woman at the bank who has known me since I was a baby will always and forever call me "Honey" and "Sweetie" and there isn't
a darned thing I can do about it without hurting her feelings. I have always looked much much younger than whatever age I happened to be at the moment. I was carded into my late forties every single time I bought a bottle of wine. That gets old fast! Now that my husband's beard is graying, many people assume that I was a student of his at some point. I think all of the above contributes sometimes to people calling me names of endearment when they otherwise wouldn't.
I most certainly do say something to people not of my parents' generation. Something as simple as, "Please call me Kathy." or, in some circumstances, "I'd rather you called me Mrs. ___ instead." Said pleasantly but very firmly usually does it for me. There are a
couple younger people I just know I'll never change. One is a furnace contractor who persists in calling me "Babe" and "Doll" and "Sweetie." Ick! I've spoken to him more than once and now I try to tune it out because e really is the best.
If a younger person at work called me an inappropriate name, I would firmly ask that person to use my name. With a much younger manager, I would try to notice what she calls the other employees of various ages. If she does it to everyone and most don't seem to mind, I probably wouldn't say anything. As my mom used to say, choose your battles wisely. If she only does it to you, or to those in your approximate age range, then I'd talk to H.R. about it and lodge a formal complaint.
) as a deescalating tool that worked. When I worked in Peds, if I'm working long term, they have nicknames; otherwise if they have a nickname I'll use; with adults I more apt to not call honey, dear, etc..dear may come in the thread of "Oh Dear" and not as a term of indearment. 
LadyFree28, BSN, LPN, RN
8,429 Posts
Try posting this in General Nursing it more responses; we want to keep the flow of the post about the topic, thanks-dear.