Title says it all . Second semester baby nurse in clinicals at a major hospital.
Patients = Awesome
Most Nurses = Very sweet and helpful
Some nurses are rude, terse, horrible with patients, horrible with students and horrible with each other.
To those nurses I say this, please retire.
Its only a matter of time before management figures out they can live without you and hire some very hungry and very competent new grads that want to be there to fill your dusty shoes....
word...
sadly the vast majority of the time these happen to also be charge nurses....in charge of what? Misery?
Specializes in Emergency Dept. Trauma. Pediatrics.
I completely agree. I make it a point to praise the good and quiet honestly I am not one to "complain" even when the complaint is very valid and probably should be made. Years ago when I started on this board I had a terrible experience with a doc that completely crossed some lines. I will never forget that appointment and how I feel from it. I was told by most members that replied here I needed to file a report on him. Got good sound advice. I never did. I don't even remember his name and didn't at the time. I was so thrown off by his behavior I completely forgot his name. I am not easily thrown off.
I like to handle things head on. I don't like to be a "tattle tale", I don't like to get anyone in trouble and I feel terrible if I see it happen. I can count on one hand how many times I probably have actually "told" on some behavior and it was pretty extreme. If I have a problem with someone I rather pull them aside and handle it head on. I have found most times it's a misunderstanding or the person didn't even realize how they were being. Even on this board I never liked "reporting" posts, I rather handle it myself. If someone is being nice though, even if they messed up I am a wimp and wont say anything. I have had someone mess up my eyebrow pretty bad when I had them waxed and I never complained or said a word. I just tried to make it work. When someone has messed up my hair bad I just went somewhere else and never complained. During my senior practicum I did have to report a fellow student. She was a semester behind me and was really out of line. I was very comfortable with her clinical instructor and after talking to a few nurses about what she was doing and how she was being they really felt I should let the instructor know because it reflected really bad on not just her, but our school. So I ended up talking to him about what happened. I still feel bad. I know she wasn't kicked out of the program but I am sure she got a write up and put on probation and I know after working so hard to get into school and having such a long waitlist that was probably very stressful. But at the same time; I think in the end it was for the best if it makes her reflect on her behavior and change. It still doesn't stop me from always wondering if I did the right thing.
I honestly don't think most people the type to remember names and go complain. I think most go home and vent to others and do nothing. I think it's just the complainers that tend to stand out more. But who knows, I could be wrong. I don't work in a department that handles complaints to really have a grasp of the percentage.
Now if someone is being mean and nasty to me I can stand up for myself without problems.
I try to live my life by the golden rule of treating people how I would want to be treated.
in order for mindlor to have all of the management experience she/he claims to have had, she/he is no dewy-eyed youth. so i agree with you that it's not an old vs. young thing. i can only think that if she/he displayed the attitude toward more experienced nurses that was displayed here, she/he must have been very unpleasant to deal with. but perhaps that could be said of many of us, not excluding myself.
happiness is a choice, so i imagine not becoming bitter is a choice as well. you might as well choose to be happy or not bitter . . . it's a whole lot more fun. as far as naturally nice -- that requires more work for some of us than for others, but i'm not sure that many people can retain their sweet demeanor in the face of blatant disrespect. or maybe those that appear to just play the game well.
i had 48 years of life-experience and 7 as an unlicensed health care worker when i graduated nursing school. both have been and still are helpful; neither entirely prepared me for being a nurse. even in school, i was prepared enough to know i wouldn't be fully prepared, and still i was surprised how unprepared i was. it was quite a shock to go from proficiency in my former position to busting my tail to try to be adequate in my new one--and six years later, that's still very much a work in progress.
i think it was lincoln who observed that most people are as happy as they make up their minds to be. i think i figured out for myself that being happy is not always the same as having fun. i've finished some really difficult shifts with a smile on my face, and some that were a different kind of difficult feeling pretty scorched. i have to say, i'm not one of those who can stay sweet, but i think i'm okay with that. one of the skills i have to have is an ability to distinguish an acute mental status change from baseline dementia. i'm far from infallible at it, but a lot of times i can do okay. sometimes it's a similar challenge to recognize when acting out is not necessarily related to baseline nastiness. i was doing patient satisfaction surveys one night, and when i came to the question, "has your stay been great?" the patient found the question as ridiculous as i did. when i asked the follow up, "what can we do to make it great?" he thought a moment and said, "the food sucks. that could be improved. the nurses have done everything they could, the doctors have done okay, but the only thing that will make it great is getting the hell out of here." i thanked him and told him to let us know if we could do anything to make it less miserable, because i understood exactly how he felt. our ed has a door for walk in emergencies. there is no such thing as a walk in emergency. if they want to admit me, they're gonna have to carry my butt.
as far as naturally nice, i do believe some people are, and i admire them for it. i also believe nursing is a human endeavor, and i'm pretty much okay with the thought that some of my patients have been able to see they were straining my patience, as long as i can maintain a professional attitude in what i say and do. i've also seen a few--haven't we all--who are syrupy sweet to your face and will stab you in the back in a heartbeat. i have far more respect for those who say what they mean and mean what they say, even if they can come across a little gruff. being genuine doesn't excuse being rude or nasty, but at least in my sight, it covers everything up to terse. and, you know, i think a lot of patients can tell the difference, too, between a nurse who cares enough to be a little stern and one who just automatically regurgitates customer satisfaction scripts, or talks baby-talk to 70 year olds.
Specializes in Oncology; medical specialty website.
I have met a couple that are exactly what you say. I mean there is one older nurse I work with that is rude. She dosn't even let me finish what I am saying when I am giving her report. She assums she already knows what I am going to say, but she dosn't. I even saw her yelling at a patient the other day. She said that she was not going to put up with him. I have worked with this patient multiple times and he has never been mean or rude to me or anyone else that I know of. I don't think I've ever seen her in a good mood. She needs to retire.
With all that said I work with another nurse who is 72 years old and she is a pleasure to work with. I can tell that she loves being a nurse and treats her patients with respect. She's been a nurse for 50 years and she is not bitter and dried up.
So I think it just depends on the person. :)
Have you ever considered that these are people who behave in certain ways? Their age is irrelevant to their behavior. People are people, regardless of age. The first person you cited was probably rude all her life, even when she was a young nurse (gasp).
I don't understand this "older=rude" mentality. It's discrimination, and it's not subtle. And just to note, every time you celebrate your birthday, reflect that you are getting older , too. Aging is inevitable, unless you choose the alternative. One day you'll be the older nurse.
Have you ever considered that these are people who behave in certain ways? Their age is irrelevant to their behavior. People are people, regardless of age. The first person you cited was probably rude all her life, even when she was a young nurse (gasp).
I don't understand this "older=rude" mentality. It's discrimination, and it's not subtle. And just to note, every time you celebrate your birthday, reflect that you are getting older , too. Aging is inevitable, unless you choose the alternative. One day you'll be the older nurse.
Absolutely agreed!!!! Age ≠ bitterness. Bitterness can happen at ANY age. I just wrote up a 22 year old CNA because she bragged at the nurses' station that she "didn't hurt the patient... she just wasn't as gentle as she could have been":eek: !!!!
That's exactly it. Personality traits are actually set at a very young age in childhood. While we are all able to modify our behaviours to a degree, your personality generally remains the same throughout life. Meaning that people who are "bitter old"....well, they were probably the same from a young age.
The other is that the hallmark of a good leader, not a manager, is someone who enables people to have the tools to lead themselves....someone who encourages. That's what I've taken away from my years in management. The hard and fast "do what I say or else" types are not respected, and their jobs are much more challenging than they need to be.
Title says it all . Second semester baby nurse in clinicals at a major hospital.
Patients = Awesome
Most Nurses = Very sweet and helpful
Some nurses are rude, terse, horrible with patients, horrible with students and horrible with each other.
To those nurses I say this, please retire.
Its only a matter of time before management figures out they can live without you and hire some very hungry and very competent new grads that want to be there to fill your dusty shoes....
word...
sadly the vast majority of the time these happen to also be charge nurses....in charge of what? Misery?
Honey I've done a allot of living and am here to give you some advice; you of course can do with it as you please.
Before handing out employment and or personality advice regarding those whom have been doing for years or ages what you are at only school studying, it might want to hold your fire until if or when you've actually fully joined the ranks and had some water pass under the bridge.
It is easy to make a snapshot judgement about persons, but that is all it tis. You have no idea what these nurses are truly like and quite honestly the thought of a student nurse offering up her (or his) opinions as to whom should stay in the profession or go is too funny for words.
When I was young thought the world was nothing but give and take. I gave advice/expressed my thoughts and the world was supposed to take it! It took a very long time and countless employment gigs to realise not everyone sees things the same way. Regardless of their age, people who have been at something for awhile inately resent unsolicited "advice" from someone who hasn't a clue. It is even the stuff of comedy (think Rose Barone from "Everybody Loves Raymond").
Again not trying to start a fight, but am here to tell you starting off your nursing career by making pronouncements on the suitability of your peers will win you no great love nor respect. Persons will soon come to avoid you as they wonder if you'll say such things about others behind their backs what will you say about them.
There is NEVER an excuse for being rude and mean in any profession...I would agree with the poster having experienced some of the same things....I literally shake my head when I encounter these nurses and just remind myself that they were once in my shoes, a newbie looking brightly towards becoming a nursing professional. It should be far more easier for these mature adults to share their knowledge and and pearls of wisdom rather than discord and disharmony.
If you were at a restaurant or retail store and the employee presented you with such a rude and venomous attitude you would be quick to have that person reprimanded or fired....so why should it be any different for a nurse? Just because you've worked some place for 10-20 years doesn't give anyone the right to treat people so rudely...I would agree, get out of the profession and whatever you do don't go teach at a nursing school and screw over the students who look forward to actually making a difference.
I've been on both sides of the coin in my clinicals...have met some wonderful nurses who were open and willing to share their knowledge and then I've run into some real LOSERS who just growl and snarls and make negative comments about everything from the patients to the staff. Again, I say that if you are that angry and bitter STEP ASIDE regardless of the economy......
NO ONE DESERVES TO BE ON THE RECEIVING END OF SOME BITTER NURSE'S RIDICULOUS ATTITUDE, I don't care how much experience she has....NO EXCUSES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Not really, because for me being purposefully rude is totally not called for or appreciated....I've experienced exactly what she's referring to...Its been a source of conversation, we even had a mini-lecture on the fact that we may encounter these folks and how to appropriately deal with the situation....sad that the subject had to be covered at all...you all most expect it out of some patients, but not from your colleagues....
It took a very long time and countless employment gigs to realise not everyone sees things the same way. Regardless of their age, people who have been at something for awhile inately resent unsolicited "advice" from someone who hasn't a clue. It is even the stuff of comedy (think Rose Barone from "Everybody Loves Raymond").
:twocents:
~Mi Vida Loca~RN, ASN, RN
5,259 Posts
I completely agree. I make it a point to praise the good and quiet honestly I am not one to "complain" even when the complaint is very valid and probably should be made. Years ago when I started on this board I had a terrible experience with a doc that completely crossed some lines. I will never forget that appointment and how I feel from it. I was told by most members that replied here I needed to file a report on him. Got good sound advice. I never did. I don't even remember his name and didn't at the time. I was so thrown off by his behavior I completely forgot his name. I am not easily thrown off.
I like to handle things head on. I don't like to be a "tattle tale", I don't like to get anyone in trouble and I feel terrible if I see it happen. I can count on one hand how many times I probably have actually "told" on some behavior and it was pretty extreme. If I have a problem with someone I rather pull them aside and handle it head on. I have found most times it's a misunderstanding or the person didn't even realize how they were being. Even on this board I never liked "reporting" posts, I rather handle it myself. If someone is being nice though, even if they messed up I am a wimp and wont say anything. I have had someone mess up my eyebrow pretty bad when I had them waxed and I never complained or said a word. I just tried to make it work. When someone has messed up my hair bad I just went somewhere else and never complained. During my senior practicum I did have to report a fellow student. She was a semester behind me and was really out of line. I was very comfortable with her clinical instructor and after talking to a few nurses about what she was doing and how she was being they really felt I should let the instructor know because it reflected really bad on not just her, but our school. So I ended up talking to him about what happened. I still feel bad. I know she wasn't kicked out of the program but I am sure she got a write up and put on probation and I know after working so hard to get into school and having such a long waitlist that was probably very stressful. But at the same time; I think in the end it was for the best if it makes her reflect on her behavior and change. It still doesn't stop me from always wondering if I did the right thing.
I honestly don't think most people the type to remember names and go complain. I think most go home and vent to others and do nothing. I think it's just the complainers that tend to stand out more. But who knows, I could be wrong. I don't work in a department that handles complaints to really have a grasp of the percentage.
Now if someone is being mean and nasty to me I can stand up for myself without problems.
I try to live my life by the golden rule of treating people how I would want to be treated.