Title says it all . Second semester baby nurse in clinicals at a major hospital.
Patients = Awesome
Most Nurses = Very sweet and helpful
Some nurses are rude, terse, horrible with patients, horrible with students and horrible with each other.
To those nurses I say this, please retire.
Its only a matter of time before management figures out they can live without you and hire some very hungry and very competent new grads that want to be there to fill your dusty shoes....
word...
sadly the vast majority of the time these happen to also be charge nurses....in charge of what? Misery?
Specializes in Peds/outpatient FP,derm,allergy/private duty.
I don't like rude colleagues, either. With experience you learn to be a bit more discerning before you assume what you deem to be rude actually is rude.
A couple of years ago on another of these threads a veteran nurse posted a list of considerations new people might think about before they conclude the worst about their more experienced colleagues. I bet any one of us could tell you what questions were on that list without ever having seen it.
I don't suppose anyone but me has noticed that the extremely tight job market has ratcheted up the barely disguised hostility from newer nurses who just want us to get the hell out of the way so they can get that new grad job they feel they deserve? "bitter" "old" washed up has-beens are things I see much more than I ever did here on this forum.
Economic pressures tend to bring out the worst in people and I totally understand that. Everyone loves to say that "the young" are the victims. Sometimes it feels like we are being circled by vultures st times as well.
Circling vultures- that what comes to my mind also. Then after they have shoved us out of OUR well deserved positions- they want to do away with social security- which WE have had deducted out of OUR checks for YEARS, YEARS and more YEARS, not theirs. Then, these self proclamed princes and princesses want to hack medicare to Hell, and out of the other side of their lip gloss and folicle molding pastes- spout off bulls*** hypocracy of "Aging in Place" Can any of these youngens tell us where that place is or what is to replace these programs that our boomer generation have paid money into all our WORKING life, Of course not. I think we are OWED an answer in terms of an equitable alternative. How about a cumulative 1 lump sum pay out!! How's that for a sense of entitlement! This young pack of vultures owe us boomers- give us ALL our social security and medicare money that is owed to us after we've worked for 30-40 yrs and you can have these " Barbie dreamboat jobs"(how sickening, quick- go grab the insulin) and point us to the nearest over 55 living community!! With their comical sense of entitlement( did your parents have to work for your pampers or were thay presents from heaven?), and willingness to do more with less( aka poor quality care) I'm willing to bet that there more than one of us old bitter dried up nurses you don't want as a patient or as an ever watchful family member!
hmmmm not sure who the recent posters were referring to but as far as I am concerned my sentiments remain the same....RUDENESS should not be tolerated from young, middle-aged or old.....and at 44yrs old I can pretty discern the difference between someone being rude versus just being cocky because they have experience. Knowledge can be shared without all the attitude...as far as anything else referenced in your post I'll leave that for someone else to address because it's not worth discussing
Specializes in Peds/outpatient FP,derm,allergy/private duty.
I wasn't talking about being cocky. Such erroneous interpretations will happen when you aren't really interested about hearing from the other side and don't feel what they have to say is worth discussing.
Rudeness is never acceptable - there is never another side to being disrespectful no excuse!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So stop trying to justify rude behavior. Unless the topic is rude behavior for me it's not worth talking about because i was responding to the op regarding her comment about the rude and bitter attitudes she's encountered along the way....anything else is a non-factor
"Rude"- rude is shoveing, pushing or conniving some one out of their job, a position they held before the god's gift to nursing came bee bopping along. that's rude. That's the same kind of person who would shove some one ahead of them out of a line just because they believe they should be first. The circling vultures. Rude is the attention seeker- the one who talks over someone already speaking. The one you walk away from when you see them coming. Rude is the "it's all about me" attitude. Rude is some who has no respect for their elder nurse coworkers who are their mothers age- I have bit my tongue more times than I careto count and walked away. Rude is a brat that needs to go home and talk to their mothers/familythe way we are talked to.
Teach- I don't want to teach this new breed of nurses(ages 30 -50) anything because of their attitude. I don't want to be around them any more than I have to!!
The story re the airline pilot ranting against the flight attendants (FAs) reminds me of a story a friend told me years and years ago. She was on an international flight, when they hit very bad (what turned out to be) turbulence, and the weather hadn't been stable anyway. Well some people screamed and panicked, & the younger, sexy FAs were running round in their high heels unsure what to do, flustered etc. One older guy was calm and professional, helping with O2 masks and whatever else. My friend got to chat to him later, he told her he'd been training to be a pilot but had worked as a FA since he was younger, but missed the human contact, so gave up his training as a pilot. Everyone told him he was an idiot & his family was ++ disappointed in him. But he said he loved his job, he'd also worked in some emergency services capacity (can't remember what now) so that helped him. My friend commented that the younger ones seemed to have no experience and were very disorganised & flustered. He said they took on the many of the younger ones cos of their looks, & most didn't know what to do in emergencies & had barely passed their exams. My friend asked why they didn't take on older, more experienced people? This guy just laughed and replied that older people weren't good looking enough - management wanted blonde bimbos with cute smiles, big boobs and long legs - they didn't care how experienced you were! They were even phasing out guys at that stage. My friend was amazed that they didn't take on EXPERIENCED people. I'm 44 and I have got bitter about some of the nursing profession but I certainly don't take it out on other people, though I do rant here occasionally!
The point is you can get bitter about anything, but you can make yourself bitter and be rude to everyone, or - like anything - deal with it in different ways, or find another profession.
The guy in the above story did not LET bitterness overtake him. He knew he was being phased out, but chose to be polite, professional and happy. He chose not to hate others by the sounds of it, when they told him he was an idiot for not finishing pilot training. He CHOSE to be happy and friendly and professional.
Maybe some people don't realise they come across as being bitter, but most of the older nurses I've worked with HAVE been bitter re nursing to some degree, maybe it's the profession that changes the person and not the person themselves.
There was another story I read re a young guy who lost the ues of his legs. He sat in a wheelchair all day, lamenting how he couldn't play footy or sport anymore. He lived with his mum, who'd had enough of it one day. Well she marched in there and told him: you have a choice - you can sit here all day wasting the rest of your life moaning, or you can choose to live what you CAN do, rather than what you CAN'T do (wise Mum!). So he really thought about that. He joined a wheelchair basketball team, went to university, studied disability sport science, met a girl & got married. He CHOSE to be happy, rather than let his disability take him over.
If you choose to be bitter, rude, condescending, acting high & mighty -whatever - you WILL become whatever it is you choose no matter what, and you will take it out on other people.
And none of us knows everything either, despite what we think of ourselves. We can all learn from others everyday.
Specializes in Peds/outpatient FP,derm,allergy/private duty.
Rudeness is never acceptable - there is never another side to being disrespectful no excuse!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So stop trying to justify rude behavior. Unless the topic is rude behavior for me it's not worth talking about because i was responding to the op regarding her comment about the rude and bitter attitudes she's encountered along the way....anything else is a non-factor
I guess you are able to confidently rule out any other reason someone might snap at you, use a snippy tone, appear to be ignoring you, not give your their undivided attention at any one moment, or ------? I wish I could say the same. It would have saved me lots of outraged moments I lived through because I really wasn't an omniscient human being.
Then again when I started out "customer service" was not the big buzz-topic it is now. If a nurse was gruff and crotchedly well -- that's how many of them were and it would have been stupid to make them all fake cheery smiley-face or wear a nametag emblazoned with "ask me if I washed my hands!" or a "service begins with a smile" sign at the nurses station.
I prefer to be growled at by somebody who knows their stuff but I guess if a waitress is what you're comparing us to, yeah. I guess you're right. It's a cultural disconnect. I feel sort of bad knowing what you might be able to learn that you will not because you are so particular about the tone people take.
I have met a couple that are exactly what you say. I mean there is one older nurse I work with that is rude. She dosn't even let me finish what I am saying when I am giving her report. She assums she already knows what I am going to say, but she dosn't. I even saw her yelling at a patient the other day. She said that she was not going to put up with him. I have worked with this patient multiple times and he has never been mean or rude to me or anyone else that I know of. I don't think I've ever seen her in a good mood. She needs to retire.
With all that said I work with another nurse who is 72 years old and she is a pleasure to work with. I can tell that she loves being a nurse and treats her patients with respect. She's been a nurse for 50 years and she is not bitter and dried up.
So I think it just depends on the person. :)
The only way to deal with that nurse who keeps cutting you off, is to cut HER off and say politely: I haven't actually finished what I was going to say, so if you don't mind..' and go on with report. Confront her and TELL her she is being rude. So what if she has more experience? Tell her being experience does NOT equal rudeness!
I myself don't stand for any of that BS now from senior nurses to senior surgeons - and I've worked with many big name, arrogant surgeons believe me. And they were never as bad as some of the older nurses either.
Specializes in Peds/outpatient FP,derm,allergy/private duty.
Carol your story about the older FA sort of puts in a nutshell what I am talking about - I tend to gravitate toward that type of nurse, too. Older and calmer. My favorite nurse of all time was a man who looked like Winston Churchill with a hippie ponytail, lmao!!
He never said much but somehow you sort of felt like he had everything under control .. and I have been extremely lucky with the mentors and preceptor nurses in my life and I wouldn't want anyone to think I don't believe the truly bitter and evil nurses exist.
However, the much more dangerous person is the snake in the grass nurse in my opinion and experience. Their outward demeanor has nothing to do with the blackness inside of them and they will smile and be friendly and polite - and stab you right between your scapulae the minute your back is turned.
I am not a "bitter dried up nurse that needs to retire" but I am a nursing PROFESSIONAL that commands respect because I have spent my entire adult life educating myself on how to best take care of those in need of my services. Gone are the days that when the physicians walked on to the floor, all the nurses stood up! Gone are the days of back rubs! Gone are the days that nurses were expected to wear white and nursing caps, fully intended to make us submissive. The bottom line is, I am a nurse. I provide the care that I have been trained to deliver. There is nothing wrong with making patients comfortable and showing grace and compassion for someone stuck in a hospital trying to recover from whatever it is that has totally altered their life. Don't get me wrong, I disagree with the whole "customer service" model in a hospital. The problem is that illness is a big business that just so happens to have buttered my bread for 12 years. Gone are the days that patients didn't have rights. They were told what to do to get better and they did it because back then, noncompliance wasn't tolerated. I am not slinging hash at Denny's, I am an educated PROFESSIONAL. I act that way and in return, I am treated that way. If anyone sees the mistreatment of a patient (not a client or consumer but a PATIENT), verbal, physical, financial or otherwise, it is their responsibility to report it. When they get enough complaints about someone, they will address the problem. Again, nursing is a PROFESSION and to expect to walk into a facility and weed out the bad seeds in cowboy fashion is unrealistic. Follow the chain and demand results. When we are practicing above board, no one can tear us down! While I am at it, I think I will also comment about how nurses never seem to have each other's back. For example, if I meet a nurse that is verbally abusive or abrupt with his/her patients, I have no problem asking him/her what's going on. The truth is, people act that way because others let them. If you PROFESSIONALLY raise the question and call them on their behavior, then they somehow loose their momentum and "getting away with it" is no longer possible. Just a few of my thoughts. . .
I never compared nurses to any other profession. However, since you compared the profession to a waitress, your words not mine just remember that nursing is a position of service. You are paid to care/provide a service to patients/clients. And I don't care whether the nurse has 2 hours or 20 years of service I respect both scenarios for no other reason than that person is a human being and deserves respect. Rude behavior should not be tolerated. I am amazed at all the people who are trying to justify it. What's more jaw dropping that it is coming from the more experienced nurses who are in a position to teach and lead by example its no wonder that there is no commaraderie among nurses or at least that's the perception. I hope that all the people that see rude behavior as acceptable among more tenured nurses is an Exception to rule and not status quo. Geesh
nursel56
7,122 Posts
I don't like rude colleagues, either. With experience you learn to be a bit more discerning before you assume what you deem to be rude actually is rude.
A couple of years ago on another of these threads a veteran nurse posted a list of considerations new people might think about before they conclude the worst about their more experienced colleagues. I bet any one of us could tell you what questions were on that list without ever having seen it.
I don't suppose anyone but me has noticed that the extremely tight job market has ratcheted up the barely disguised hostility from newer nurses who just want us to get the hell out of the way so they can get that new grad job they feel they deserve? "bitter" "old" washed up has-beens are things I see much more than I ever did here on this forum.
Economic pressures tend to bring out the worst in people and I totally understand that. Everyone loves to say that "the young" are the victims. Sometimes it feels like we are being circled by vultures st times as well.