Biting your tongue when it comes to visitors!!

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One of my biggest pet peeves of being a nurse is having to bite your tongue when its comes to a patient's family members/visitors. I work on a surgical care floor and most of our rooms are semi-private meaning 2 beds in a room. Most of the time patients come to our floor from surgery with like 4,5,6, or more visitors. They all cram into the room with babies crawling around, laughing and staring at the patient in the other bed. How uncomfortable for that poor patient who has to put up with their roommate's visitors and for the patient as well who is usually in pain and/or very sleepy and doesnt feel up to all the commotion. Sometimes people just dont think....they can be so inconsiderate. The worst is when I come into the room to assess the patient/take vitals, etc. and the family makes no attempt to leave or get out of the way and I have to step over them and squeeze between them, etc. Im trying to listen to breath sounds, bowel sounds, and they are talking to the patient. Most of the time I ask them to please step out of the room for a few minutes and usually they act like I am being completely rude and out of line. One time I was out in the hall at a med cart when a patient came up from surgery and the transporters asked the family to please step out of the room until they got the patient into bed and the nurse checked the patient over. The family stood out in the hallway and talked about how there was no reason why they should have to leave and if we were doing our jobs right there would be no reason to hide anything. It was all I could do to keep my mouth shut.

Another thing that drives me nuts is when family members chase you down he hallway or come up to the desk constantly with water pitchers that need refilled or to say that so and so needs pain medicine. That is what the call light is for. Unless its an emergency....use the dang call light!! Usually if they find you in the hallway or at the desk you are busy doing something else or it is not your patient that they are making a request for and then you have to track down that nurse and tell them so and so needs this, or you have to stop what your doing and go fill a water pitcher. Sometimes its ok but other times you might be running around like crazy and dont have time to get someone water. I wish people would just THINK sometimes....anyone else feel the same way?? or am I being out of line?

Specializes in Burn, CCU, CTICU, Trauma, SICU, MICU.
We just posted the "Only 2 visitors per patient at any given time" and we stick to this. It has increased patient satisfaction and of course the nurses'.

In the ICU, we also have a 2 visitor limit and have SUCH a hard time enforcing it because there is always going to be 1 nurse on that patient's hospital stay that says "Oh, I don't mind!" and after that, every family member things you are being mean!

Also, in the ICU, they do not understand the difference between mom being sick and in the icu and Mom being *SICK*. So when they read the hand outs that say alternative visiting will be made for patients who are extremely sick, actively dying or other circumstances decided by the nurse... they don't understand that OUR idea of sick and THEIR idea of sick are two very different things!

Or you will have family members that simply do not believe the rules apply to them and on that patients door, in several languages if need be - we post the 2 visitor limit rule and STILL have trouble enforcing it. Actually, one unit, we were coding a patient every hour or so and the family had literally 6 or 7 people at the bedside, all wanting to hold the patients hand, share the bed, etc... but were not compliant to the fact that the patient was coding, extremely unstable and I need to be able to get to the bed instantly all the time. You may not take my chair, you may not use my charting computer, you may not be slow to get out of the way and I cannot have to physically push myself in front of you to check for a pulse. The manager ended up coming in and asking them to leave or restrict to 2 visitors because of the patient acuity and we were not able to get care done, so then they started to throw objects and attempted to choke the nurse!! We had to shove them out of the unit, lock all the doors and call the cops because they were trying to break down the doors! And that effected all of the other patients - that hospital did not have a tube system and all labs for other patients, tests, xrays couldn't be done and doctors who were not already on the unit when the lock down happened couldn't get in because of how danger and violent the family was outside the doors!

Limits, limits, limits. Everyone deserves compassion but there are LIMITS.

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Have you yourself ever been a family member of a hospital patient? Sometimes, the behaviors you describe by the family members are based on fear and stress and they really don't mean to be obnoxious.

I spent many a night at the hospital with my sister. I thought I'd gain this newfound angelic awareness of why so many visitors are obnoxious pains in the petoot.

Nope.

The entire time, I just wanted her better. I asked for NOTHING for me. I made sure nobody in the family asked for anything that didn't pertain to sister. We made a list and asked for anything/everything when they were already in the room. Did not ask them to do 15 visits per hour to the room. Immediately got out of the way when staff came in the room.

People take that little bit we're willing to give for being "scared and worried" and use it against us because they aren't scared and worried, they're actually entitled and obnoxious. The scared and worried ones aren't asking us to babysit their toddler while they go down to the gift shop because they want us focused on the patient, not them!

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Totally understand. We have a 2 visitors policy as well in the ED and ICU. We also have a no children under 14 rule. I've had to explain both, many times. Some are okay with it, others not. It is really not safe for anyone to have a ton of visitors back in critical situations. I try to explain some policies before they go back to prevent problems.

My peeve is POA. So many family members say "Well I have POA so I need to get back there ASAP to speak with the doctor. " This is after I tell them they need to wait until after triage and at least 20 minutes after the patient gets a room. They think that POA means they can say what the patient is experiencing. I don't get it. They'll say how their family member is "confused." Yes, that may be, but how in the world are you going to tell the doctor exactly where the patient is feeling pain and what they are feeling?

Also, I do find many act out from fear or stress. I just try to reassure them and speak to them calmly. I don't think many of them mean to act out. I do also think that some believe they are helping because really they do want the best for the patient. Sometimes they just need to be told why it's important to follow directions.

I always explain why when I tell them something they can't do. And I always relate it back to the care of their family member.

My other peeve is smoking visitors. I can see them, clearly. It's like they think they have a right to smoke because of their stress. They walk right by the giant no smoking sign and smoke. Here is the door that keeps opening and people in the waiting area with respiratory problems. Security probably gets sick of having to chase them away.

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Specializes in Med Surg, Ortho.

I had a young pt the other day and her room was filled with relatives, at least 10 people in her room. It was ridiculous. She had surgery the next day and I enforced the two visitor limit during this time. She was in a private room but still 10 visitors is way too many!

As RNs we have the authority to do what we need to do to maintain privacy, perform assessments, etc. If I have to run visitors out to do an assessment, believe me, I will. Ive done it many times in the past and I'll continue to do anything necessary for the good of my patient.

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Specializes in Med/Surg, Ortho, ASC.

One of my pet peeves is the family members who bring their evening meal onto the floor and sit in the patient's room, eating. By the time they reach "their" room, they have trailed the KFC (or worse) smell up and down the hall, nauseating fresh post-ops, including possibly their own relative. Those patients who are not nauseated may be NPO and the smell actually increases their hunger pangs.

How rude!

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I always write in "lay terms" on dry erase boards esp Nothing to eat or drink instead of NPO. It amazes me that visitors will still ask for crackers or juice or coffee or.... for the pt! He hasn't eaten in 36 hours can't he just have..."!! often visitors will tell me " i need the exercise" when I tell them to use the call bell instead of coming to the desk or hunting me down ;(.

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This literally sums up my biggest pet peeves in the world. I complain about this literally every single time I work. I'm glad I'm not the only one!

To take it a step further, I have had patient's family members come in to another patient's ROOM to come find me for something. Literally. I have been in room 3 doing a dressing change, passing meds, drawing blood, etc. and all of a sudden I look up and room 2's daughter is IN ROOM 3 (walks right in) and says "dad needs to go to the bathroom." or, "mom is feeling nauseated." SERIOUSLY!?! My response is always the same: I say, "I need you to leave this room immediately. You are violating this patient's privacy by coming in to their room, and I am not available to speak with you right now. I will come see your mom/dad/the patient when I am finished here. If you need something before then, please use the call bell." and then close the door (a little louder than necessary :-) ) I mean seriously. I cannot, for the life of me, think of a situation where a normal human being would think that is an appropriate thing to do. Walk into another patient's room!? Ugh. These people are a piece of work.

Thanks for the vent! :-)

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Specializes in Trauma ICU, Peds ICU.

Limit setting. It's good for family members too.

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to take it a step further, i have had patient's family members come in to another patient's room to come find me for something. literally.

oh my goodness, i had a patient's father do this the other day. i was in the room of an unattended child. if i'm not doing something that requires privacy, i tend to leave the door open when i'm in a room alone, just in case i need to yell for help. next thing i know, the dad for the next room walks in the room, asking questions. i did the same as eeg, except for shutting the door because my hands were full at the time. assurred him i'd be with him soon to answer his questions. not long later, the doc is in the room with me (and there's a reason i went to this room first, things were not good in here) and that dad is back standing in the doorway. i had to shoo him out again! when i finally get in there, he didn't need anything urgent, had questions about parking. :rolleyes:

all i could think was, what would this dad think, if he found out that there'd been some strange man in his daughter's room?

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Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
we just posted the "only 2 visitors per patient at any given time" and we stick to this. it has increased patient satisfaction and of course the nurses'.

this is a fabulous idea, especially if everyone follows the rules. by this, i mean all of the nursing staff. when the day nurse follows the rules, but the night nurse lets visitors run rampent, suddenly the family is complaining about the day shift "lacking compassion" while the night nurse is everyone's favorite.

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Specializes in Cancer research/ Orthopedics/ Surgery.

I took care of an elderly patient yesterday who required a blood transfusion secondary to blood loss after a knee replacement. During report, her son chased me down demanding to know why he wasn't called and informed that his mom getting a blood transfusion....She was alert and oriented and could've very easily informed her family why she needed blood. Ugh..she's old, not dumb!!!

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Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
in the icu, we also have a 2 visitor limit and have such a hard time enforcing it because there is always going to be 1 nurse on that patient's hospital stay that says "oh, i don't mind!" and after that, every family member things you are being mean!

also, in the icu, they do not understand the difference between mom being sick and in the icu and mom being *sick*. so when they read the hand outs that say alternative visiting will be made for patients who are extremely sick, actively dying or other circumstances decided by the nurse... they don't understand that our idea of sick and their idea of sick are two very different things!

or you will have family members that simply do not believe the rules apply to them and on that patients door, in several languages if need be - we post the 2 visitor limit rule and still have trouble enforcing it. actually, one unit, we were coding a patient every hour or so and the family had literally 6 or 7 people at the bedside, all wanting to hold the patients hand, share the bed, etc... but were not compliant to the fact that the patient was coding, extremely unstable and i need to be able to get to the bed instantly all the time. you may not take my chair, you may not use my charting computer, you may not be slow to get out of the way and i cannot have to physically push myself in front of you to check for a pulse. the manager ended up coming in and asking them to leave or restrict to 2 visitors because of the patient acuity and we were not able to get care done, so then they started to throw objects and attempted to choke the nurse!! we had to shove them out of the unit, lock all the doors and call the cops because they were trying to break down the doors! and that effected all of the other patients - that hospital did not have a tube system and all labs for other patients, tests, xrays couldn't be done and doctors who were not already on the unit when the lock down happened couldn't get in because of how danger and violent the family was outside the doors!

limits, limits, limits. everyone deserves compassion but there are limits.

i've just said almost the same thing, and i've had quite similar experiences. but there is always the one nurse -- or more -- who encourages the family to take their chair, allows them to use their computer and "doesn't mind" how many visitors are clogging up the room. if you try to enforce the rules, you're mean. i guess i'm mean.

and yes, i've been both a patient and a visitor. neither experience has changed my opinion any except to have even less "understanding" and "compassion" for the visitors who abuse us.

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