Biting your tongue when it comes to visitors!!

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One of my biggest pet peeves of being a nurse is having to bite your tongue when its comes to a patient's family members/visitors. I work on a surgical care floor and most of our rooms are semi-private meaning 2 beds in a room. Most of the time patients come to our floor from surgery with like 4,5,6, or more visitors. They all cram into the room with babies crawling around, laughing and staring at the patient in the other bed. How uncomfortable for that poor patient who has to put up with their roommate's visitors and for the patient as well who is usually in pain and/or very sleepy and doesnt feel up to all the commotion. Sometimes people just dont think....they can be so inconsiderate. The worst is when I come into the room to assess the patient/take vitals, etc. and the family makes no attempt to leave or get out of the way and I have to step over them and squeeze between them, etc. Im trying to listen to breath sounds, bowel sounds, and they are talking to the patient. Most of the time I ask them to please step out of the room for a few minutes and usually they act like I am being completely rude and out of line. One time I was out in the hall at a med cart when a patient came up from surgery and the transporters asked the family to please step out of the room until they got the patient into bed and the nurse checked the patient over. The family stood out in the hallway and talked about how there was no reason why they should have to leave and if we were doing our jobs right there would be no reason to hide anything. It was all I could do to keep my mouth shut.

Another thing that drives me nuts is when family members chase you down he hallway or come up to the desk constantly with water pitchers that need refilled or to say that so and so needs pain medicine. That is what the call light is for. Unless its an emergency....use the dang call light!! Usually if they find you in the hallway or at the desk you are busy doing something else or it is not your patient that they are making a request for and then you have to track down that nurse and tell them so and so needs this, or you have to stop what your doing and go fill a water pitcher. Sometimes its ok but other times you might be running around like crazy and dont have time to get someone water. I wish people would just THINK sometimes....anyone else feel the same way?? or am I being out of line?

Then perhaps hospitals should post rules indicating no visitors should bring food beyond waiting areas, so that no patients are made uncomfortable. Leaving people unaware and then getting angry with them when they don't think of everything that could bother someone in the facility seems a little unfair.

You're making the assumption that visitors can and will read the signs. Then you make the assumption that they will actually bother to comply with the rules.

We had a door that had a bright red STOP sign on it with the words "STOP. This is not an exit." Pretty much every one pushed through the door and set off the alarm day after day. The sign was eye level.

People are idiots. The ones who aren't think the rules don't apply to them.

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Specializes in Health Information Management.
You're making the assumption that visitors can and will read the signs. Then you make the assumption that they will actually bother to comply with the rules.

We had a door that had a bright red STOP sign on it with the words "STOP. This is not an exit." Pretty much every one pushed through the door and set off the alarm day after day. The sign was eye level.

People are idiots. The ones who aren't think the rules don't apply to them.

Yup, you'll always have idiots and jerks who'll break the rules. On the other hand, the people who do pay attention and read the rules (and yes, we're out there) will know better and not bother patients with food. The problem won't go away, but it will be lessened to some degree, and nurses will have something to turn to if someone brings in food anyway. Saying "Hey, that KFC you brought in is really bothering one of my patients, so I need you to get it out of here," without a hospital rule backing you up to a jerk isn't likely to get you far. At least a rule behind you could help with enforcement in such a situation, depending on how supportive your management is. Having the information posted is always better than leaving people in complete ignorance, even if there are plenty of people who will ignore the information.

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Yup, you'll always have idiots and jerks who'll break the rules. On the other hand, the people who do pay attention and read the rules (and yes, we're out there) will know better and not bother patients with food. The problem won't go away, but it will be lessened to some degree, and nurses will have something to turn to if someone brings in food anyway. Saying "Hey, that KFC you brought in is really bothering one of my patients, so I need you to get it out of here," without a hospital rule backing you up to a jerk isn't likely to get you far. At least a rule behind you could help with enforcement in such a situation, depending on how supportive your management is. Having the information posted is always better than leaving people in complete ignorance, even if there are plenty of people who will ignore the information.

Bam. Nothing but barriers! :)

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Public education is the cure for "Pesky" visitor syndrome.

Since we number 2.6 million nationwide, all nurses should have the following conversation in the elevator at every opportunity.

(Nurse 1) "Did you know that the National Institute of Health has determined that approximately 44 to 98 thousand deaths occur annually from medical errors?

(Nurse 2) "Wow, I wonder how many of those errors were caused by visitors distracting the staff?"

The beauty of the above fantasy is that we wouldn't even be violating HIPPA.

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Specializes in Ante-Intra-Postpartum, Post Gyne.

We have a buzzer to let people in our locked unit. Of course no one reads the sign that says "we are taking care of mom's and babies please be patient"....some people press that dang button until you come to the door. It is so rude and obnoxious!

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Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
then perhaps hospitals should post rules indicating no visitors should bring food beyond waiting areas, so that no patients are made uncomfortable. leaving people unaware and then getting angry with them when they don't think of everything that could bother someone in the facility seems a little unfair.

we have signs posted on the door to our icu. big ones with red lettering right at eye level. (along with the rules about only two visitors at a time, no visitors under 16, no cell phone use and not to enter any patient room without checking with the nurse). we have the same rule printed on our "letter to families" that we hand out with our first contact with the family, at the same time we're getting their phone numbers. there's also a brochure containing the same information that is handed out to families by the guest services ladies in the waiting room. it seems a little unfair when people ignore all of that information and then can't imagine why we'd be angry with them.

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Specializes in Emergency & Trauma/Adult ICU.
Yeah, and there would not be a

conflict in the first place if family members would just learn to shut up and observe for 5 minutes before deciding that:

1. These idiot nurses no nothing, so I'M gonna telll them how my mother will be treated!

2. I am staying overnight, no matter. I won't help you with any thing, and I will be snoring in my cot the entire time, but darn it; I am there for my Grandmother!

3. Well, I want to be with my (insert family member here) after surgery, that nurse who insisted that we wait in the hall while she was assessed and settled was just a big meanie and insensitive to boot! And why didn't my (whoever) get pain medicine as soon as she hit the floor?

Wishy-washyness: The reaction surmised of family members who have put so many outrageous demands upon an overworked nurse that she cannot even begin to react to them as normal.

And lovely as your wished resonse is, I can tell you that 90 % of nurse HAVE uttered that same sentence; only to be greeted with "****you, *****, I will see my Mama Now", or "You can't keep me out".

God, I wish you family and friends would just LOOK at the postings before you decide that you have been in some way dissed.

I think you have taken my response WAAYY out of context - maybe re-reading the thread in order (to reference the post I responded to) will clear things up.

And for the "* you, ***, I will see my mama now" ... been there, experienced that, got the collectible t-shirt. A response like that gets *one more try* from me at reasoning with the family member throwing a tantrum, and then a visit from security. And PD, if necessary. It does not get them what they want.

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Specializes in ICU, Telemetry, Neuro, Ortho, Med/Surg.

Just an example...

I have actually read on a public forum before about a person's significant other being in the ICU. They posted about how they "told that nurse off", they "did not care about visiting hours", and they "got back there no matter what". Horrible behavior. Like it was an "I won" situation. So, there are those people that do ignore the rules, act out, and create problems/drama/a scene. It is about what they are going to do no matter what the rules are. Hate to label this person, but this person constantly comes across as a loud-mouthed, trouble-maker who is constantly posting negative crap on this public forum, causing drama, arguments, etc... They may even be Lucifer. :devil: Just saying...

It sucks we have to deal with people like this when our jobs are stressful enough. :mad:

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Specializes in adult ICU.

IDK. I could see it if you took issue with a nursing student trying to give advice on how to staff a unit, or administer meds, etc. etc....something a student wouldn't have enough perspective on to comment on. But visiting policies? Everyone and their brother has stepped foot inside a hospital. I don't see that a non-nurse providing another perspective is necessarily bad or unwarranted, and I didn't see that this poster said anything inflammatory or accusatory e.g. "YOU NEED TO BE DOING THIS, NOT THIS!" (And even if he/she did, isn't that called freedom of speech?) What next? Should we say "All you nurse managers should get off this board! You have no business stating your opinion because you have forgotten what it's like to be a bedside nurse!!!!"

I have read posts from the poster in question (TDCHIM...I think) before and they are well written and well thought out, and I've never seen anything inflammatory from him/her. Why shouldn't he/she be able to post? It's a public board. It's my understanding that anyone can get an account on here, even inexperienced nursing students. If you don't like what they have to say, fine, then type your rebuttal, but nobody owns this message board. TDCHIM can say whatever he/she likes.

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Specializes in Health Information Management.

I was not attempting to tell anyone how to do his or her job. I do not think you are in any way being mean by wanting people to observe the rules. My only concern is about situations where the visitors have not already been informed that bringing food onto the ward could cause issues for other patients (as was the case in the scenario I originally cited). Ruby, if your rules already tell visitors not to bring in food, then by all means, I agree - anyone breaking those rules and thereby causing a patient discomfort is an idiot and deserves to be criticized and bounced from the area.

My only point with my followup post was to point out that if the rule DOESN'T already exist, nurses trying to protect their patients are in a difficult spot because they have nothing in writing to back them. There are plenty of people who don't notice or ignore written rules, as Ruby pointed out, but at least when they're formalized as hospital rules, nurses can point to them and say, "No, you can't do that here, you're causing issues for the people I'm here to take care of!"

I did not in any way intend to tell anyone how to do his or her job. I don't have the training to do so, and I never will. If it came off that way, I apologize. I simply wished to point out that written rules serve a two-fold purpose: visitors aren't left out at sea, unknowingly violating the unwritten rules of a facility, and nurses aren't left trying to protect patients without written policy to cite to those who don't wish to comply. That's all. You guys aren't in charge of writing the rules, so I certainly wasn't attempting to criticize you.

I hope that clarifies the matter.

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Specializes in Health Information Management.
IDK. I could see it if you took issue with a nursing student trying to give advice on how to staff a unit, or administer meds, etc. etc....something a student wouldn't have enough perspective on to comment on. But visiting policies? Everyone and their brother has stepped foot inside a hospital. I don't see that a non-nurse providing another perspective is necessarily bad or unwarranted, and I didn't see that this poster said anything inflammatory or accusatory e.g. "YOU NEED TO BE DOING THIS, NOT THIS!" (And even if he/she did, isn't that called freedom of speech?) What next? Should we say "All you nurse managers should get off this board! You have no business stating your opinion because you have forgotten what it's like to be a bedside nurse!!!!"

I have read posts from the poster in question (TDCHIM...I think) before and they are well written and well thought out, and I've never seen anything inflammatory from him/her. Why shouldn't he/she be able to post? It's a public board. It's my understanding that anyone can get an account on here, even inexperienced nursing students. If you don't like what they have to say, fine, then type your rebuttal, but nobody owns this message board. TDCHIM can say whatever he/she likes.

Thank you for your support, but I'm truly not trying to start anything here. I think the situation was just a misunderstanding, perhaps due to a poorly-worded post of mine somewhere along the way.

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Specializes in Advanced Practice, surgery.

OK guys into your respective corners I'm calling time out

Thread closed for cooling off and review

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